Bipolar Support Group

I am new to the concept that my husband is not only an alcoholic, but also bipolar. It explains a lot of bizarre, random, irresponsible, erratic behavior over the past 15 years. We have three children and I have been fully committed to our marriage--looking to myself to find the problems within and fix them. In the last 6 months of therapy I have learned that the problems are not things that I can fix; they are not mine to fix. Talk about a curve ball! I am dealing full on with everything and my eyes are wide-open, but I am having a very hard time dealing with all this. Our lives are completely enmeshed and the children love their dad--they are young and are only beginning to see that things are a little strange. I, on the other hand, am no longer able to cover up, ignore, circumvent, or otherwise smooth things out. I am angry that I function as a single mother with a husband who makes demands on me and does essentially nothing to help in our life (he does work, but I consider that a given--I work, too), who is jealous of my independence and friends, who curtails my activities with guilt trips, etc. Any suggestions? Commiseration? Advice?

His co-dependence is NOT your cross to bear. Does he seek treatment at all? It is great that you are seeking your own but it won't work without both of you doing the same.

You have every right to be angry at the fact that you are a married single person. Sounds strange doesn't it. Brings to mind the old addage Misery loves company. I feel mad and abandoned when my husband goes out with his friends but I have learned to cope with that and to appreciate my time alone. Without therapy I would have never learned that coping skill.

I wish you the best and will c u on the boards.

He is going to his own therapy, but he has stopped going to marriage counseling with me (and we have switched therapists once); he has also switched his prescribing psychiatrist once. I don't know what he has actually told any of the people he sees individually and from what he has told me, he is not telling them the truth or the whole truth. They certainly do not know about the drinking, or the extent of the drinking.

That sucks, man, at least he's working. Not much, but better than some of us. Anyone know the definition of alcoholic these days?