Bipolar Support Group

I don't know whether to call my doctor, who said to call if I get worse. I've been really down and agitated and sometimes unable to sleep.

But lately I've been paranoid about the devil coming after me and evil spirits in the bedroom and bathroom. I have to have my back against the wall when walking in there or I feel like I'm going to get jumped. I "feel" them. I'm making it worse by reading religious stuff online. Because some people claim the devil and evil spirits are real.

I'm in a place where I don't know what to believe anymore about God and religion. I want to go to church but it makes my symptoms worse sometimes.

I'm sorry if I'm rambling. I'm having trouble keeping my thoughts in order.

Are these evil spirits real or am I becoming psychotic? Should I call my doctor?

There is a difference in believing there is a heaven and a hell and a god and a devil. The devil makes people do bad things. God calls people to do what is right. If you are feeling that a spirit is out to get you, you probably have psychotic mania. I would go to the hospital. This is a warning sign, if left untreated it could lead to something major. I wouldn't want other people to notice my behavior this way and most likely a few days of intensive treatment in a hospital where they can change meds and watch your moods around the clok would help. Definitely when you are in this state limit the amount of time studying religion because it can make it worse. Being hyperreligious is one of the biggest signs of mania. You recognize it and that's the first step.

I think you are becoming psychotic too. I would go to the hospital and let them take care of you. Things can get much worse. If you are against the wall walking into rooms, you are really frightened of this. A medication adjustment can fix this, so if I were you, I would go check myself into the hospital. I have a feeling your psychiatrist would tell you to do the same thing.

By what you are describing you are listing symptoms of full-blown mania/psychosis. My heart goes out to you b/c i experienced something similar as you are when i had a psychosis. Try hard to feel safe you are going to be alright, if you get any worse over the evening you may want to go to ER, or wait til the morning and contact your psychiatrist (pdoc) right away.

We care and keep posting here if you want, we are here to help you if we can; I wish you well. You are in my thoughts & prayers.

I just called my pdoc, waiting for them to call back. I'm afraid of what the doctor will think of me now since this is the first time I'm had any psychotic thoughts--at least that I told the doctor about.

I wouldn't worry about what the doctor will think of you. He deals with this on a day to day basis. He will know what to do about it and will help you. You need the help so welcome it. You are definitely doing the right thing by telling him about this. You will get the help you need to make this go away and bring you peace to your mind.

Definitely be truthful with your pdoc about this. Especially if it has happened before. I know it must seem very real to you. But do not be worried what the doctor will think. He is there to help you with this very problem and if he has your best interest at heart, he would definitely want to know about this. My heart goes out to you, it must be terrifying what you are going through. I do believe in good and evil, but evil can not overcome you or possess you. You can desire evil or to do evil but evil can't control you without your desire for it to be so. That is just the way I've read it to be, but everyone will have different opinions about this sort of thing..

I hope that your pdoc can help you fast. Maybe up your meds or add one to the mix. I don't know what medicines you are on but you may need a stronger anti-psychotic. It's amazing the tricks your brain can play on you. I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. However, there is hope and you have to hang on to hope. Be honest with your doctor and have no secrets. That way he can really help you. Let us know how the medicines work and what they put you on to help. I wish you well and i hope you get to feeling much better soon...

Definitely when he calls you let him know if there have been any changes since yesterday. He will probably want you to come into his office for an assesment. There is no reason to get scared. Focus and listen to what he tells you. I don't know if you have been to the hospital before, but if you drive yourself there and voluntarily commit yourself the process is not going to be so scary. Involuntary commitment will not help you feel more safe. You also will want a private hospital and not a state facility. I don't know why society makes people so scared to get the help they need and puts such a scarlet letter on it. You just have to remember mania is a physical illness not unlike a broken bone. You get it fixed. Your doctor went to med school for this purpose to help people like you.