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12/01/2010 09:57 AM

stupid fears

stsj
stsj  
Posts: 310
Member

so i have this dumb fear of new people. this weekend i have to meet a ton o fnew people and im literally really scared. im scared my bf wont bring me around with him, and ill be sitting there in the corner alone. ive never been one to go up and strike up a conversation with someone.. uhh im dreading this.
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12/01/2010 10:21 AM
katt64
katt64  
Posts: 25
Member

That doesn't saound stupid at all. I don't know anyone who likes going somewhere when they don't know anyone!

You mentioned your boyfriend? Are you going to family thing or meeting some of his friends for the first time?

Have you told him how you feel?


12/01/2010 10:28 AM
niecy440

I've always felt the same way. However, it is never as bad as i think it is going to be. Usually i just smile allot and try to seem interested in everything they say. That has always worked for me. I have a reputation for being warm and compassionate. I do understand the anxiety about meeting allot of new people. Just be yourself and smile. A smile can be a real ice breaker. I think you will do just fine. I'm quite shy around new people but lately i have forced myself to try and be outgoing and it works. People love when you ask about them and seem genuinely interested. Like i said plaster on a warm smile and introduce yourself. I guarantee it won't be as bad as you are thinking right now. The dread can really get to you but it is never as bad as you think it will be. Let me know how it goes. I hope you are able to enjoy yourself and that these people are nice and welcoming. Good luck to you!!!

12/01/2010 10:32 AM
mem2078

May I suggest handcuffs between you and boyfriend? Tongue I know it can get real uncomfortable meeting new people. I found that once I'm there and start getting to know a few it isn't always that bad. The fear before is usally worse than the event.

Talk to the boyfriend and tell him about this. Maybe he will keep an eye on you and help if he sees you sitting alone. Or maybe leave early if it gets too bad. Escape routes are always best planned in advance.

Good luck.

Post edited by: cptblack, at: 12/01/2010 10:33 AM


12/01/2010 11:14 AM
notreally
notreally  
Posts: 443
Member

Nice idea Cptblack. Of course if you don't want to be so obvious, a nice shock collar on your boyfriend can allow you to give him gentle reminders when he isn't near you.

12/01/2010 11:54 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

It sounds like you have a bit of social anxiety. I know because I have had it in the past as well. Neicy is right that you should smile and practice active listening skills. Just go with the flow and let them lead the conversation and just expand on what they share with you.

This is a milestone that you are crossing with your boyfriend so try to be happy! Share with your boyfriend your concerns about being left in the corner. Make sure he knows how uncomfortable this could make you. A little pressure should be put on him to make interactions as smooth as possible. Hang in there and I am sure it will all go well!


12/01/2010 12:05 PM
mem2078

Notreally, have we met? Shocked Maybe you know my 3rd X? W00t

The wonderful world of remote controlled electrical toys! Blink

Post edited by: cptblack, at: 12/01/2010 12:05 PM


12/01/2010 12:11 PM
notreally
notreally  
Posts: 443
Member

Thanks cptblack, now you have my mind totally in the gutter.... err not sure it has ever been out, but now I can blame you.

12/01/2010 12:38 PM
notreally
notreally  
Posts: 443
Member

And to stsj, I sometimes make myself physically sick worrying about social events. I understand what you are going through. People wonder if I play professional football as a lineman half the time, but somehow at a party no one even seems to see me. I hate it.

12/01/2010 03:58 PM
stsj
stsj  
Posts: 310
Member

i have told m ybf how i feel, and he is just like" you need to just get into a conversation" well thats the problem! were visiting his family that he hasnt seen in years, and he isnt one to be proud that im his girl and show me off.. ug whatever.
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