Bipolar Support Group

Hello! I'm new to this whole idea of a support group... never thought I'd be at a point in my relationship where I just don't know what to do anymore and I'm sick of feeling like this.

Quick history: we've been dating for 8 months and has had 6 "episodes" - which basically consist of him telling me that he'll be right back, turning off his phone and I don't hear from him for over 24-48 hours. When he finally comes home, he's ridden with guilt, cries and says he's gonna get help. He's mentioned to me that he had a problem with cocaine and started treatment a fewe years ago, but i don't think he ever finished...

I have gone to a meeting with him when he asked. He's gone to a therapist, who basically told him he's normal b/c he's already "self aware" as to why hes doing the things hes doing. Ok - well, he keeps disappearing and I'm sick of feeling like I can't trust him.

Trust is the biggest thing our relationship has suffered. I try to renew my faith every time this happens, but I'm getting more and more angry. We haven't been together long so I'm feeling like I just need to walk away from this situation. I don't know what to think anymore when all I've ever done was try to support him and be understanding... but I've never cried so much in my life since I started dealing with his emotional burden.

Thanks for reading!

Dear On A Journey,

Welcome to the group...you will find a large group of caring, supportive

people here and we are glad to have you.

I don't know your SO, but two things worry me about your story. You say

he is bipolar, and his therapist has commended him for knowing why he

does what he does. This therapist is not asking your SO to take the

responsibility for his actions. Even if he is bipolar, he needs to

own and take responsibity to repair bad choices, including hurting

you.

Secondly, you say he has had an untreated cocaine problem. Bipolar or

any other mental illness plus a substance abuse problem is called

dual diagnosis...he needs to accept treatment for that first.

There is a forum for dual diagnosis here; you could learn about

that.

You don't say if he's on meds for the bipolar-he needs that and

probably a more competent therapist.

Only you know if you've had enough, but I would suggest you seek

therapy for yourself to sort this out either way. You'll need a

lot of strength to stay or to move on-therapy will help.

Please keep us posted...we care and want to help.

God Bless you, Sue

Hello Christchick7 - you're right, he makes excuses for his actions and doesn't take responsibility. He finally told me this weekend that he was diagnosed with Post Tramatic Stress Disorder - but I am aware that this can overlap with other personality disorders. He told me that he is going to NA meetings for 90 days straight... should he seek counseling for his personality disorder at the same time or after the 90 days?

I feel like I need help dealing with what he's done to me emotionally. It's only made me more angry, to a point where I feel I need anger management.

Thanks,

Nikki

Hi,

It is a good thing ito get help for both the addiction, and bipolar, because one they can go hand and hand, and it's a difficult thing to let one or the other go untreated. If you get help one, and don't address the other, the othwer suffers.

I also think it would be helpful for you to get help for you toget help, too. I had to address my issues on my attraction to sick people, and trying to get them better. He might not be ready to get help, and that will lead you to still being with the sick person.

He sounds like he's on the fence . I have had friends get drunk or high agaain, because they refused to get help with their bipolar.

I have been sober for five years, and I just got help with my bipolar after coping with it without help for a long time.

After five years after trying everything to improve my self, I became so sick, I was suicidal.

So, the first thing I would do is get all the support you can to help yourself get a better life with or without him.

I hope this helps,

God bless, Gypsy