lifeinterrupted
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I’ve been MIA for a short while but thought I would pop in and catch up and give an update. I’ve been on my meds for about 3 weeks now and boy what a difference it has made. I can hear the birds singing and feel the air on my face again. And laugh! OMG! Have I laughed more lately than I have in the past 3 years. Real laughs too. Even my kids are noticing. I’m once again the best mom in the world. Lol I’m cooking again and looking around my house at what a sty it had become. On top of all that, I did great on my two classes. A’s Yippy! I even got the highest score in the class on one of my finals. Then there’s work. I’ve really pulled it out lately. I got the highest rating you can get on my performance eval. Which led to me getting a very large merit bonus!!!! And in the past two days I have been nominated for two committees by my peers. My personal finances are looking good, work is looking good, school, family and even my ex fiancé and I are talking well. Sounds great right? Here’s the catch, I’m so paranoid that something will go wrong or I’ll flip and go out of control again. I just wish I could enjoy it all without the fear of it all going wrong. I have brief moments of wow good job and smiles but then in the back of my mind is the BP…is it gonna get triggered? I guess it’s all part of it. Overall, things are looking up and I am more myself these days than I have been in a very long time. I still get sad, I still have ups and downs but they are balanced for the first time in forever. I could get used to this.  |
