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09/29/2010 01:29 PM

No Work

missylob
 
Posts: 28
Member

I am having such a hard time with the bp illness...and now ppl are trying to push on me that i could get a part time job. work scares the hell out of me.. i am on disability now and my case is up for review in may 2011. when i did work i could never hold down a job and i usually ended up in the hospital from having a melt down. my anxiety level goes through the roof when someone even mentions work to me. what if they take my disability away from me? i cant imagine myself in a work setting. i cant even keep track of my own bills, my mom has to do that for me. some days i cant drive cause my nerves are so bad. why are ppl pushing work onto me when they have no clue how that makes me feel?
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09/29/2010 02:28 PM
Lisacomisa
LisacomisaPosts: 903
Senior Member

I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same boat. Sometimes my brother even says I shouldn't take medicine. It is like he can not believe or will not accept I have bipolar. I am on disability also. I wish I could work but I had so many bad experiences dealing with the stress that I can not even entertain the thought. Maybe one day I may be ready but I know what is right for me. It hurts to have others insist on things like you just don't want to work or it is all in your head. I see a therapist and get support from her when I do not get it from all of my family. Find a good support group and know you know what is best for you.

Take care of your self.

Lisa


09/29/2010 05:59 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Who is trying to push you to get a job? Have your psychiatrist get in the middle of this. He is the doctor here and he should have a say in what you can and can't do. It sounds like it really affects you to a very high degree. I would talk to your psychiatrist about this and see what he can do to help you. Fight it tooth and nail. This is not fair to you why do they want to take away your disability anyway? I hope you can keep it and don't have to go to work and end up in the hospital again.

09/29/2010 06:48 PM
missylob
 
Posts: 28
Member

One of the ppl is my pdocs nurse...she always brings it up that i need to get back to at least a part time job. she doesnt do it in front of the doctor. he knows what work does to me. and then just ppl in general. they dont understand why i cant work. they say im lazy or just dont want to work...and that is so not true...some of us just cant with bp and plus i have anxiety disorder really bad. leaving my apt makes me real nervous. the govt always reviews disability cases after so much time just to make sure u still need it. and i know may is long away but im already having nightmares and high anxiety thinking of it. my pdoc would fight for me i know that, he is wonderful. but when my anxiety gets to high it triggers mania. i just wish ppl would understand

09/29/2010 09:28 PM
UpdownGirl
UpdownGirl  
Posts: 165
Member

You should report what the nurse says to your pdoc and tell him how much it upsets you. She shouldn't be expressing this opinion to you so forcefully.

09/30/2010 06:34 AM
Volante
Volante  
Posts: 925
Member

I am on disability too and I also fear having my benefits taken away from me. I cant handle the stress of working and I havent worked in 3 years. I hope things go well for you.

09/30/2010 06:50 AM
bipolarone
bipolarone  
Posts: 82
Member

My sister is trying to get on disability right now. She is epileptic as well as newly diagnosed bipolar. She has been to see an attorney to help her in her case for disability. I was shocked that even though she has seizures and is not suppose to driver because of them, the attorney said she is more likely to get approved for disability because she is bipolar then her epolepsy. She is jumping through all the rings of fire being asked of her seeing doctor after doctor in her quest to try and get help. I am bipolar as well but I have managed to keep a job and had the same career for 17 years. It's funny I look at work as my escape, some place to go that people don't know the real me. When I am having a manic moment and am very talkative they just think it is me being a social butterfly. When really what is going on inside of me is my racing thoughts that I just explode in conversation jumping from subject to subject. I have had to leave work to go home "sick" but really it is because I can't stay seated and feel like I am crawling out of my own skin. Thank God I have the sort of job I do that allows plenty of paid time off. Now I do suffer from anxiety as well. If I know I am going to have to have a meeting with my boss I will have a panic attack and go in the bathroom lock the door and try and calm myself down it usually takes me throwing up before I can finally catch my breath to pull myself together enough to face whatever has thrown me into this state.

Good luck to you on trying to keep your benefits.


09/30/2010 07:57 AM
dogdown51
dogdown51  
Posts: 405
Member

I will probably b getting my last disability check next month b/c once u start your trial period of employment ur on the watch. If u continue without a relapse ur clear in their eyes. My job does not guarantee me hours they just call me when they need me so it will get stressful. I'm not certain what the future holds 4 me I just take it seconds @ a time. I definitely feel your anxiety n hope things don't have 2 change 4 u until ur ready. Take care

09/30/2010 08:52 AM
Lisacomisa
LisacomisaPosts: 903
Senior Member

Come to think of it Joy is right. I see a therapist and a pdoc for medication. I had my therapist sit down with some members of my family and discuss my condition to serve as my advocate. You really should mention it to your doctor. I think you are also doing the right thing comeing to a support group like this.

Good luck and stay well,

Lisa


09/30/2010 11:42 AM
missylob
 
Posts: 28
Member

well its strange cause i applied for disability in 2008 after going into the hospital twice and they denied me...i reapplied this year and havent been in the hospital since and they gave it to me...im not going to work...if they bump me next year i will get a lawyer andd fight it
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