Bipolar Support Group

Hi folks. I have been married 10 years and in a relationship with this man for over 24 (Highschool sweethearts). He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (unspecified) over 5 years ago after some unpleasant events. Long story short (and by no means unique) its been a rough 5 years. There has been brief periods of stability but a majority of the time things have been bad and back in August he left and moved in with a married woman (not his first affair but definitely the first "relationship" affair). Anyway, I feel like I am going nutz some days. There has been little to no contact. I have informed his family of everythinhg going on as some were unaware of his condition. The tough part is that although they listen and are never openly rude I always feel like they don't believe anything I tell them. I called them today to give them a heads up regarding his spending in the event he comes to them for money (he has run up 22k in credit card debt in 2 months on top of withdrawing money from out joint account...yes I did remove most of that money when he left back in August)and it was like they were just trying to humor me. He is highly functional and as he isn't around his family often, they don't see the changes. In speaking with his mom, she said she spoke with him and he told her he was taking his meds and seeing his doc and of course she took him at his word. Hello, does the actions of your son over the past few months not dictate that he has a problem. I'm just beaten up, obviously heartbroken and need to hear from others with similar experiences. Of course, insight from those with BP is also most welcome.

Post edited by: ezevans, at: 11/26/2007 20:51

I wish I could help you. I'm in the same boat as you are. I just don't have any advise for anyone living with this. I refuse to have a failed marriage again but my self esteem is so battered, and my heart is broken into a million pieces. To make it worse he acts as if nothing is wrong and he just doesn't care that he has hurt so many people. If he would just take responsibility for his own actions I think that would be a start. However, it's always my fault. This is one of those instance that until he realizes he needs help there is noting anyone can do to help him. You and I need emotional support more than anything else.

I am sorry that you are dealing with a partner who is behaving so badly. Just because he is bipolar does not mean you should be willing or able to put up with all this. You deserve to be treated well. I am sorry that his family is not hearing you. It may be you have done all you can and if they decide to give him money now that is their choice.

I thought I would offer a link to a group where you can find some folks who have walked a mile or more in your shoes;

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/spouses-of-bipolar-in- active-relationships-discussions

Post edited by: centerseeker, at: 04/09/2012 07:16 AM

They sound like they are in denial of his illness and probably try to brush it off on you and think you are the problem. That is cruel. I'm sorry that you are going through this. He has a good wife in you, we pray he will realizes it sometime. Hugs

sorry to hear about the hard times with the husband. When it comes to family alot of times they are blind to it because they have seen it for so long. It can be right in their face and they just don't see it at all.

My ex wife is very well spoken and most people would never see her as the type to chase me in the house with a frying pan and threaten to kill me on numerous occasions....she would never do that.

Perception and reality are sometimes two very different things. Let him go to them and borrow money and let him go. I know it's hard but you have to take that step. His family will never take your side...until they loose money or he shows his colors.

Try to work on putting yourself first......you deserve that.

I have lived being told I am bi-polar for 10 years. I am not so sure I am really bi-polar. I dont trust doctors anymore or my own family. I have been off my meds for close to 3 weeks now. I seem to be doing alright life is tough at the moment but I know i can pull through all this. I do still trust my dad though because he is bi-polar and he does have a good idea of what I am going through.

hi dan... i can relate... jus pay close attention to your body~ Dr's give out pills easier then pharmacies will fill em! I have thought i cud be bi polar all of my life... but i refuse to put another label on myself...i ask GOD every day to remove all bad evil demonic wrong principalities outta my head evey day~n it is working...Talk to GOD ask him to lead you in the right direction as far as your body n dr's...i hope u r feelin well... life is a hard place to be these dayz...for everyone we all need each other...