Bipolar Support Group

two months ago my wife started trying different meds for it. She didnt start therapy when started meds. First app. tommorrow.During the last 2 months she has detatched herself from the kids and I and Im doing my best to give her the space she needs but i just feel like Im loosing her.She is my best friend the love of my life.She says she still loves me but feels she would be better off alone and doesent think its fare for her to be with anyone.shes put a wall up and Im hoping when she starts therapy tommorow even though I know its going to be a long process that I may slowly be able to get her back.I will give every ounce of who I am to support her during everything and will always be by her side no matter what the cost. I just dont know a positive direction to take with her SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!

Hydro,

You've come to the right place. Give her space and know she will become the person you once had if she sincerly goes for heip. Trust me she needs you to support her. Meditate on the things you've had in the past trusting the pdoc and therapy will bring sunshine back to your now dark world! Hang in there.

I have been with my wife for thirty two years and raised two daughters who now live away from home. I tell you this only as it may relate to your circumstance..I'm BP and its not always a bed of rose's, but with perserverance with a great faith in a Higher Power it is the only way we've made it so far.

My wife is a goddess... for putting up with the BP and I wonder many days when she will just say enough. You seem to have her quality- you guys have a more than a good chance. Look forward to an after action report.

Ok Hydro

Did she admit she was bipolar or get diagnosed? Has she known and not sought treatment? Just wondering doesn't make too much of a differnece. Either way when beginning treatment for bipolar most of us do detach ourselves from all loved ones because its easier. Why impose our "craziness" on someone else. We now how f'ed up it makes us feel inside why in the world would we make someone we love feel that same pain. It's a first stage coping mechanism. If you are strong enough to fight for her through this stage and also seek your own therapy to adjust your own approach to the relationship you could make it.

It's great that you are so willing to support her but remember to seek therapy yourself because ptsd for the spouse of a bipolar person is real. You also need to learn coping techniques.

I wish you well and let us know how all goes.

Great advice from Momma above. My advice would be to read up on codependency and make sure you're not in that trap. Also, absolutely make sure you both get counseling, I think it's best to do it by yourselves first then try a couple's thing. Also, by the way, remember that most of us here aren't professionals in this thing, we're just speaking from our own experience. Get some books and read up on it is a great second step, after you get into counseling. That is really, really important!

*hug*

you are doing great. she will start to feel better once she starts to go to therapy and she will realize that she can tear down the wall and let someone in. i am just like her. i close my husband off all the time. i don't want to get hurt. she may be coming from a very horrible incident in her past. that is why I would put up my wall. a good therapist will get it out of her and help her realize that she can trust you and that you aren't going to hurt her. your entry sounds like what i have heard my husband say about me. trust me, please be patient and your wife, your love, will come back to you. try to show her in several ways how much you love, appreciate and accept her everyday. weither it be, just holding her while watching tv, but, definatly go to bed at the same time together and hold her. i am currently on welburtian and i have noticed a huge difference from when i was on prozac. if she is on prozac, you will need to do some research.

also, pray with her. you have came to the right place. hang in there.

This seems to be a common trend. Why do our spouses always blame us and our relationship for the cause of everything bad in their lives? My husband of 14 years just told me today that he no longer loves me and is moving out. He left in July after having a medication induced nervous breakdown (several misdiagnosis and wrong medications given). He even told me that he wanted to have an affair in July and moved out for almost a month. This was before I convinced him to move back home and be seen by a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed as bipolar and is on meds to stabilize him. I know this is all wrong because just like you, Jeff is my best friend, my love, and I don't want to lose him. I have tried everything to talk him out of it, but there really is nothing more that I can do. I need to just let him go. We have two beautiful boys and I am scared for them and for my husband. My husband told his doctor that we were having problems which couldn't be farther from the truth. He knows that if he does that, she won't talk to me or take information from me about his medication or behaviors. I don't know what to do.

get ahold of his doctor asap!!! he sounds like he is relapsing. why all of the sudden is he saying that he is out of love with you? ask him if he would like marriage counseling before calling it quits. especially with your two boys are conserned. how old are your sons? if they are young, he needs to be reminded that he really needs to think about why he married you and your family life. the good times.. *hug* hang in there. it

will be ok

My wife and I have been married for 15 years and I'm the one with bipolar. I'm a grad student, and yesterday I had a total breakdown in the middle of the studio, so I might be able to give you a little insider advice. Sometimes I go through a period when I am really, really incapable of thinking rationally. I don't believe anything is the way people tell me it is- I can't recognize love or sympathy, it's all lost in paranoia and angst. I can do mean things with no basis in what others consider to be 'reality'. Well, my 'reality' is very different, and it's very disturbing. My wife can tell me something and I just can't process what she's telling me. Over time I have learned to just trust what she tells me, even though I 'rationally' know everything is wrong. For her part she has learned to recognize when I'm about to freak out, when to call the doctor and developed a safety net of friends and relatives. She's done all that, and I still feel there's nothing there, even when at the same time I recognize that it isn't true. Anyone who has ever had a hallucination knows what this is like- while you're experiencing it you know it can't possibly be real, but at the same time it is, absolutely. Remember, we're talking about human minds here, not computers or machines hard-wired to react the same way every time to any given input. Mania pushes a person toward things like love affairs and desire for sexual encounters, which is scary but if your husband is anything like me, there is no way he could function at a level that would allow him to have an affair. I don't know if that helps or not, but hey, that's all I can give you right now. I won't say everything will be fine, because I don't know if will be or not, but I do think people are amazingly resiliant and are capable of taking an awful lot on the chin, and can adapt to many, many conditions, whether good or bad. Sorry if this doesn't make sense, I'm about as manic right now as it gets.

Well, my husband of 14 years has filed for divorce. He is having an affair and believes that he is in love with a woman that is 51 - he is 40. He has been gone for a month and gotten an apartment. I have spoken to his doctor and found out that he has been lying to me and to her for months. He went off his meds and doesn't take care of himself like he should. But, that isn't really my problem anymore. For now, I am working and caring for my two sons ages 6 and 13. The three of us are in counseling and trying to help each other through this.

I have come to the conclusion that my husband is a grown man, whether he is acting like one or not. Anytime he messed up before I always fixed it for him. This time I won't do that. Everyone that we know including his family agrees that he is making the biggest mistake of his life. Eventually he will realize what he has done, and that scares me a lot to think about what will happen to him when he hits rock bottom. Unfortunately, I have to let him do that. I love the man that he used to be but not the man that he has become. He has been physically and mentally abusive to the kids and I and that just isn't ok anymore.

The kids and I deserve to be happy. We deserve better than this.

Thanks for your kindness and support. It truly has helped.