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10/16/2008 03:13 AM

I'm mean to my boyfriend and I don't now why

DisneyArtist
DisneyArtistPosts: 2
Member

Hi I'm new here but I have a problem that is bugging the day lights out of me. My new boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 weeks now and I find as I get more comfortable with him I'm starting to get mean for no reason and I can't stop it. He's really amazing and oh so sweet and her really cares for me but I find myself saying mean things to him and bossing him around and he doesn't deserve that. Once I see myself doing it I automatically feel remorseful and apologize profusely or try to play it off as a joke. I can't stop myself and I don't think he should have to take my crap. I really like him but If I'm going to be horrible to a man who is so nice and caring maybe I shouldn't be with him it's so hard I don't want to be like this and then I get depressed because I know I have hurt him. It's a vicious circle. Can anyone help me?
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10/16/2008 03:58 AM
SunshineJewel
SunshineJewel  
Posts: 334
Member

Maybe you're scared to be so close to someone so you're trying to push him away..? I've done that a lot in the past before. Once you figure out why you're so mean to him, then it'll be easier to step back and stop the cycle Smile

**HUGS**

SunshineJewel


10/16/2008 04:09 AM
CherrieAngel
CherrieAngel  
Posts: 1268
Senior Member

I agree with Sunshine!! I do the exact same thing. My hubby is the most amazing, caring, compassionate, loving man i've ever known but I've done terrible things to him.

Pushing people away isn't always something we do consciously, sometimes we have to sit back and look objectively at the situation only then can we say to ourselves 'holy sh*t THAT is why I'm doing it....


10/16/2008 04:15 AM
ceegee
ceegee  
Posts: 961
Senior Member

the fact that you are aware of the problem is half the battle. now its just a matter of identifing the reason for it.

10/16/2008 04:58 AM
losinghope
Posts: 32
Member

My girlfriend does the same thing to me, almost to a tee. She has been hurt in the past and has had not the best history with men. It is hard for her to open up, when she starts to get to close to me, thats when she pushes me away and is mean to me. She realizes in also. But not sure what she can do to stop it. She is also mean to others she loves too. Communication is key. Talk to you BF about it. Let him know whats up. If he is understanding like he sounds, there wont be a problem and he can support you until you can get that under control. dont assume that he cant put up with you and leave him. My GF has broken up with me numerous times and its not what I want. I would rather stick it out than run away. Ask him what his thoughts are. Do not assume anything. If he doesnt want to support you through it let him make that choice, and break it off mutually.
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