pattern in cycles/BP worsen over time?

I did have my fifth child...alone. But that's ok- he's an absolute delight and he's made us all very happy.

My husband has not shown much interest in involvement with this new little one and has never shown any more interest in the four others. When he does show interest he doesn't understand why they've been mad at him.

There was a period of a few weeks when he seemed to crash and hit a low. He begged for forgiveness and made me promise there was hope for the future (any of you ever had this before?). He also begged for me to get him away from his current girlfriend. He spoke in his old voice and his demeanor was like his former self. Then without warning he snapped a day later and became the angry arrogant self entitled idiot that is the new him. Poor judgement, flagrant spending, etc...no care or concern about family.

Old friends who haven't seen him for some time, and had seen him recently were quite disturbed by the change in his demeanor and attitude.

So to answer my own question yes they worsen...in our case anyways. His episodes used to occur every few years and seemed like a couple of weeks of hyperactivity- now life is out of control at these times.

The first severe episode started in May 05 with all of the same preceeding symptoms (as this last time)...early morning waking, feelings of guilt, night terrors, weight loss, etc from there the episode turned in to 5 months of promiscuity, pressured speach, flight of thought, grandiousity, inappropriate behaviour, poor judgement etc...

The next severe episode started the same way with the same preceeding episodic symptoms and at the same time of year....May 07. He was in full manic swing with this episode by Aug.07 and it lasted for 8 months this time.

He seems to have experienced a bit of a crash for a few weeks in April and May (08) and went right back in to an episode two weekends ago. He's been out of control ever since.

So I don't know what to think... if this means he's rapid cycling...or will be. They just seem to get closer and closer and I've never seen his real personality again (only for a span of hours when he crashed). I just wish there were someone here to help the five of us with our grief. We miss the wonderful man we used to love and fear we'll never see him again. But aside from that it seems that I have my answer about his cycles- they are definitely worse and getting worse.

If he is not, then it sounds like you are better off if he's not there. From the way your post sounds it sounds like he has the most difficult form of BP. Probably not rapid cycling. BP1 but what do I know? lol I am no psychiatrist!

My g/f is rapid cycling. Really, ultra rapid cycling. In days, hours in minutes. And she doesn't have the same form of mania - her mania manifests in anger, irritabilty and irrational thinking.

I thought that Hypomania fit but I don't know now- seems like something worse.

His episodes definitely manifest as irritability as well- he's impossible. He's fine at work and is able to maintain his genius persona there. No one questions him and he's on top of the world- highly motivated and profoundly successful. He just sucks in his personal life and unfortunately I've received the worst of it for 19 years.

He's aggressive, angry and irritable. He lies lies lies about everything, and we'll be lucky if he doesn't wrap himself around a pole in his porsche- he's already spent all of the money.

I worry daily and am now realizing that worry doesn't change things...better to let it go. But it's so hard to let go of someone we once loved...we don't see that person in there anymore. Very sad.

tertap

I have wondered about you for months. Happy to hear that you had your baby. Surprised that he came back to his own self and begged for forgiveness only to disappear back into mania. While he was in his depressed phase, was he willing to go to a shrink and at least get formally diagnosed? Or does he still think there's nothing wrong with him? The way he begged you to "get him away from his current girlfriend" is appalling! What is he, a child?

When you were posting on here a few months ago, you mentioned that you and the kids were going for counseling and that you were considering divorce. I hope the therapy is helping you. For your husband to be putting the mother of his 5 children through this is just to awful for words.

I am sorry you are going through this. I know what you mean about mourning the man he used to be. I wish your husband would come to his senses and see a shrink and get on some meds. He's a doctor! He should know what his happening to him! And, don't you hate the way he is a *genius* at work and no one is aware of the hell he is putting you through?

I am hoping for the best for you. I'm so glad that you delivered the baby safely.

Cathy

It's amazing- the transformations that I've seen happen in him before my very eyes. And I believe that he was begging for my help because he wasn't strong enough to help himself. But then again I've been the one to help him through everything in life for the last 20 yrs. This episode is much much worse than anything else I've seen thus far- and I know he cannot be happy with his life, but he keeps movng forward on this path of destruction. It's like he can see nothing else.

hope that you're doing better now too.

I see his episodes unfolding in a violent way and yet the fact that he still refuses to acknowledge illness or get help- in itself confirms illness to me. (as if I ever wondered)

I would imagine it's likely the same with everyone else here. The support system sees the issue and seeks help because were rational and cannot make sense of the way were being treated and our loved ones actions. Howeve, the ill person flounders indefinitely. I wish I could impress upon him how much better he'd feel if he got help.

countrymouse