Bipolar Support Group

After 5 years of being there, through thick and thin, for my bipolar friend, I really need to walk away because I am starting to go crazy with his abusiveness. He drinks and is not on bipolar meds which, I know, makes things worse. Yes, I've hung in there for this long, but he seems to not appreciate anything I say or do for him. He just goes off on me and/or pushes me away. Then when he is ready comes back with some witty excuse, or an apology. I told him that he hurts me by doing that. I actually think he gets his kicks out of it sometimes. I walk on egg shells with this guy, but he can say anything to me and I never go off on him. The things he goes off on me about I don't even see a problem with, like something I said that he took wrong. Then he'll say,

"Well, you know when you do this (or get like this, or say this) I have to leave, so goodbye for now." Making it all my fault, each and everytime, but never wanting to discuss things that angered him. If I try to find out why he is all upset he tells me to leave him alone, so I'm between a rock and a hard place. So, my question is this.....what is the best way to end this relationship? I don't want him hurt, so I am leaning towards not saying anything and ignoring him if/when he tries to get back with me, which he will just wonder what happened. Or do I just tell him the truth and let him know that I can't handle it anymore because he is so mean? He has no real friends, only acqauintances, and lives all alone. I can't save him, he has to learn how to save himself. I appreciated any insight anyone might have.

I think the best way to get all your feelings out is to write him a letter and let him read it in front of you. When you have time to think things out and write them down it covers everything that you need to say. I think this guy is toxic for you and you shouldnt doubt getting rid of him. Bipolar or not he sounds like a real asshole.

I think you should be honest with him. Tell him exactly how you feel. He will keep doing what he is doing to you. I'm sorry that he is doing this to you. This is no reason to treat you like this bipolar or not. Bipolar is not a reason to hurt someone. He needs help and he is not getting it. He needs to realize he needs it and the only way he will get it is on his own. You are in a tough place, but you can do this. You don't deserve this treatment. I wish you luck my friend.

I agree that you need to be honest and back away. Otherwise, having you there to basically abuse is just going to reinforcement that behavior. Hopefully, having you pull the plug on that may be a realization for him that his behavior is literally too much to handle.

Thanks EVERYONE for your advice. I have told him in the past that what he says hurts me. He drinks and that is usually when he goes off on me. He admits that he can be a jerk sometimes. The thing is, if I go to him and want to talk about what is going on or why he said or did something, he might get even worse so I wait for him to come back around. It has been as short as the next day, or as long as 5 months. he has told me that I am the only one he trusts and that I'll alwasys be there for him. It is always ALl about him and what he feels. I think what Volante said is right, he IS toxic for me. I think that I need to move on, or back away, far away. Thanks again to ALL of you!!

I have not read all the replies but I am going to put in my two sense. His behavior is very common among people in general. We show others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. I am not sure if his behavior has so much to do with being unmedicated as it does with he feels like he can walk all over you.