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MsJ Posts: 8678
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Or to hug or be hugged? I'm not sure if it's just because I grew up without it or not. When my boys were younger I kissed and hugged them all the time, now I rarely hug them (29, 21 & 13) I try to make sure that I tell them that I love them. With my husband (married 21 years) we rarely hug and even more rarely kiss. Is this a bipolar thing or is it my cold upbringing? Janet
Meds:
Wellbutrin XL 450mg
Klonopin .5 mg
Lyrica 225mg
Trazadone 100mg
I've been sitting here trying to find myself
I get behind myself I need to rewind myself
I take too many pills, it helps to ease the pain.
Kid Rock
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pirateprincess421 Posts: 31179
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I don't feel comfy with hugs and kisses either. With my girlfriends I'm ok. With family members I'm ok. With immediate family I have a problem. Maybe it's my cold background too. Princess Lainey
Lamictal 200mg
Risperdal 1.5mg
Trazadon 100mg
Klonapin 1mg
Lexapro 20mg
Wellbutrin 150mg
PS...I hate the snow
Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses. |
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MsJ Posts: 8678
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Even when someone hugs me I find that I stiffen up and don't hug back. I don't have any gf's anymore. My parent's have only started hugging us now that all of us girls live hundreds of miles away. I never saw them show any affection, matter of fact, they slept in twin beds. I don't remember them telling us that they loved us again until the past 15 years or so. Probably why I acted out and became promiscuous when I was a teen. Janet
Meds:
Wellbutrin XL 450mg
Klonopin .5 mg
Lyrica 225mg
Trazadone 100mg
I've been sitting here trying to find myself
I get behind myself I need to rewind myself
I take too many pills, it helps to ease the pain.
Kid Rock |
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norma  Posts: 10109
Group Leader
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Mrs J...I have always found physical affection awkward. In my case I don't like people invading my personal space. When my kids were babies and toddlers I held them all of the time and gave lots of physical affection. As they got older they went through the stage of not kissing Mommy when dropped off at school...LOL LOL I would kiss them anyway...they would make that "YOU ARE SO WEIRD" face. I was raised in a family that you had to kiss and hug everyone in the room before you left. Since it was a large family this could go on for quite a while. It might take 10 minutes to get to everyone. If you forgot someone you would be reminded. Then, we would start to leave, get to talking again and the process would have to be repeated after more conversation. LOL LOL Now as an adult I am comfortable with affectionate hugging on my terms, which means when I feel like it...some days I do and some days I don't. I do expect a kiss from hubby when he leaves the house and a kiss on returning...but, that is just my way. Comments made by me are from my own experience and they are my opinion alone, whose intent is only to share that opinion and not to give medical advice nor discourage from seeking medical help. Medicine is best left to the professionals that is what they do.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
Rest in Peace, Gloria...you will be missed. |
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pirateprincess421 Posts: 31179
VIP Member
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My mom was affectionic (sp) and my dad, don't really know where I got the fear of touch from. I have to force myself on some days. Princess Lainey
Lamictal 200mg
Risperdal 1.5mg
Trazadon 100mg
Klonapin 1mg
Lexapro 20mg
Wellbutrin 150mg
PS...I hate the snow
Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses. |
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countrymouse Posts: 5693
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Hugging has always been difficult for me. Kissing was impossible, even on the cheek. I don't ever remember being affectionate that way with extended family or immediate. I remember telling my daughter that she never had to touch anyone that she didn't feel comfortable touching..this caused some discomfort at family gatherings sometimes when she'd refuse. "Music may start with a melody, but harmony is what gives it color." |
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MsJ Posts: 8678
VIP Member
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My mom was cold. I can remember my dad trying to make up for it. He used to bring me for rides in a dump truck, no wonder why I was a tom-boy! But there wasn't hugs, kisses and stories. I told my therapist one time that the only memory I had of my mom showing affection was her rubbing my tummy after I had a hiccuping crying jag, I said she probably did more, but I don't remember. The therapist said unfortunately that may have been it, sad, but most likely true. We have one uncle that all of my sisters have this uncomfortable feeling about. When I was 13 he chased me around the house for a Xmas kiss, now how creepy is that? Post edited by: MsJ, at: 10/08/2008 07:13 Janet
Meds:
Wellbutrin XL 450mg
Klonopin .5 mg
Lyrica 225mg
Trazadone 100mg
I've been sitting here trying to find myself
I get behind myself I need to rewind myself
I take too many pills, it helps to ease the pain.
Kid Rock |
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jritchie Posts: 9229
VIP Member
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I don't remember my Parents telling me they loved me, except when my Daddy was dying. My Mom still doesn't, even when I hug her and say it. She was kind of mean to me. So when I had kids, I made sure that i told them I loved them (even today, they are 29, 24, 21 and 19) and hug them often. Everyone needs that from their Mom, no matter how old you are. Sometimes I wonder if I can ever really love anyone (except my kids). When I got divorced (the 3 times) I was so cold about it. My Parents had a bad marriage and I was told time and again how if I hadn't been around, she would have left him. They call me Jrock :)
I'm still alive....Pearl Jam
Bipolar 1
Trileptal 1200 mg
Klonopin .5 mg up to 4 times per day
Lamictal
Wellbutrin
Singular (for allergies) |
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ThisBlows  Posts: 1467
Senior Member
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I tell kids I love them everyday, but other than them, I have a hard time with being friendly (I really dont have many friends). The last time I truely felt like I belonges was the last time I was deployed. I honestly loved the guys in my unit, would have done anything for them. Its hard to explain... Cry HAVOC! and let slip the lemmings of war!
She turned me into a newt!.... I got better
Spes Mea In Deo Est |
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dstar9 Posts: 287
Member
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I hug and kiss my daughter all of the time but I find it awkward with most anyone else, even with my parents some times. But I find that my receptiveness to it goes along with my moods or phases. Lamictal 200mg
Gabapentin 1800mg
Wellbutrin 200mg
Cymbalta 60mg
Ultram 100mg
Flexeril 10mg
Xanax 2mg
Zegerid 40mg |
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