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08/13/2010 08:07 AM

It's been a long couple weeks

confusedboyfriend
Posts: 27
Member

Hi everyone.

I'm new to the forum, but just really needed a place to come where I could hopefully get advice from some people who've gone through similar situations. I apologize in advance for the length of this post.

My g/f and I had dated for 3 and a half years. She was a shy, kind, caring and fun girl who I always got along with. A few months ago we were going to move in together. Unfortunately, she began to overwork herself (40 + hours a week plus 5 classes at college) and eventually broke down to me about how she was depressed and couldn't do so much anymore. It got pretty bad and she began seeing a therapist who eventually put her on an antidepressant (which I wasn't too thrilled about at the time).

Her semester ended and we took a trip together and it was amazing. She was happy again and we had a great time and were madly in love. I was so happy to have my g/f back from the dark bleak state she was in. Then a couple weeks later the 180 began. The first thing I noticed was her extremely rapid speech. She sounded like she was on speed and was jumping from topic to topic and making no sense. I also found out she was excessively smoking marijuana. I disregarded this as some phase, but it continued to get worse.

She began to constantly go out and stay up all night, but be seemingly fine the next day. She called me from the mall one day to tell me she had blown ALL of the money we had saved for our apartment on shoes, clothes, and jewelry (some of which has yet to be even opened). She started having all sorts of ideas and plans. She would talk about "living her life how she wanted" and "having a positive attitude" and she also began talking about God a lot. When I expressed my concern she would snap back at me saying how dare I try to stop her from living her life.

She became rude, hateful, and disrespectful towards her parents. She started having odd mannerisms and would sing and hum all the time. She was late and missed work a few times and was almost fired. Everything culminated in one weekend where she made multiple poor decisions. She crashed her dad's car on the way to her summer home (called me laughing about it) and didn't tell anyone. She had her dad's credit card for emergencies only and spent over $900 on frivelous things. She claimed it was fine because her birthday was coming up. She also hangs out with all these new people and claims they're her "best friends". She hates that anyone is concerned or worried about her and resents all the people who care for her.

I could go on and on with other stories, but my post would go forever. 2 weeks ago my g/f roller bladed to my house (which is bizarre in itself due to the distance) and broke up with me. The letter she wrote me didn't really make much sense. She had like 4-5 different reasons why she had to break up, but also said that she loves me and is my best friend. She had no emotion while doing this and has shown 0 emotion whatsoever since. It's as if she doesn't realize and doesn't care what she did at all. It's all very selfish and hateful. She also tried to continue to talk and text with me as nothing even happened.

Is my ex g/f going through a manic episode? I know her uncle had bipolar disorder and ended up ruining his life. This is a COMPLETE 180 of her personality in a short period of time. I don't know if the girl I've loved for so long broke up with me, or this new version of her. I still communicate with her parents and recently found out she hasn't been taking her medications. I'm so scared she's going to hurt herself by abusing drugs or doing something really dumb. Everyone is just telling me to move on, but I know how she really is and want the old her back.

What can I do?

~ConfusedBoyfriend~

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08/13/2010 11:05 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Welcome to the group confused!! You will find a lot of support here as well as a lot of friends. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It sounds like she change a whole lot. We can't diagnose, only a psychiatrist can, but it does sound a lot like mania to me. She needs to get to a psychiatrist quickly and get that diagnosis and if she is, get put on the right medications. Has she been to see her therapist lately? Once she gets her medications right, she will become stable and more than likely back to normal. I would say just support her the most you can, but don't bring yourself down. You can't just wait for her forever to come around. She could end up in the hospital, and she would get the care she needs there. She is out of control right now. I hope she gets the help she needs. Take care of yourself, you don't need to be getting down and our yourself. Please keep us updated and know that we are here for you.

08/13/2010 11:58 AM
confusedboyfriend
Posts: 27
Member

She does see a therapist and psychiatrist. She's been very reluctant in admitting that she has any problem though. She was put on mood stabilizer to try level things out and the dosage has been raised 3 times already. Unfortunately...her parents discovered last night that she hasn't been taking her medication which isn't going to help anything. They haven't made any official diagnosis as of yet although her mother tells me the psychiatrist says she is experiencing "an acute manic episode". They just haven't decided on the cause.

08/13/2010 12:10 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

It's good that she is seeing both a psychiatrist and psychologist. They will catch on eventually. It's not good that she isn't taking her medication. It sounds like they need to get involved in her care. If they think she is in a manic phase, then I'm guessing they are thinking bipolar, but you never know. I hope it gets better for both you and her.

08/13/2010 12:21 PM
confusedboyfriend
Posts: 27
Member

I guess I'm just having a very hard time moving on because I'm so extremely worried about her. Like I said, it's hard for me to even figure out why she broke up with me, or if she even realizes at this point that's it's of any consequence...but I don't know...maybe that's just the way it is.

08/13/2010 12:31 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

She probably doesn't even really realize it. She's in a different mindset right now. Out of control kind of. That's how it's going to be until she comes down, and if she is bipolar, she'll crash and become very depressed. I'm sure you are very worried about her. She is being destructive to her life. Do what is best for you. The best you can do right now is support her.

08/13/2010 01:14 PM
BlindFaith
BlindFaithPosts: 62
Member

I was extremely destructive when I was Manic. Not physically, but emotionally I put a huge strain on a ton of relationships. There is no logical reason why those who are manic make the decisions that they do. I would not question yourself or anything you did. What I did was make up things in my mind that made sense to me and no one else. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do besides support her as Joy said.
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