Bipolar Support Group

Good morning all! Ya know I havent been a part of this group very long, but I already feel good knowing that there is somewhere I can go where someone understands - where they dont get that blank look on their face like I've just asked them to explain E=MC2 in Cantonese or something! I looked forward to getting on here this morning and getting some good discussions started. Still SSDD here - bf wants me to come over tonight and "hang out" with him and his daughter, and spend the night. We've had this discussion before about me staying the night, but I've never made any headway with him...he doesn't understand that spending the night, with everything being lovey dovey and perfect is almost worse than being apart - at night everything is perfect - the way it used to be and then its like a slap in the face to have to go back to dad's - it's like breaking up all over again. And there's NO way that I can just be "friends" or a "booty call" with him - there are WAY too many emotions (at least on my side) for that. Don't know what I should do. AAAAGGGGAAGGGHHHHH!!!

Well if you feel that you can deal with just spending the night then just go and spend maybe the day and have dinner . Like small steps a first

I want to go over there so badly, and yet I am so mad at myself for wanting to go over there, ya know? I'm not naive - I know that basically all I am is a "booty call" and a security blanket so that he doesnt have to spend the night "all alone in this big kingsize bed". He asks me to spend the night every couple of nights - sometimes I don't...most of the time I don't. I'm not dumb - he doesnt want anyone to know that we are talking and seeing each other again - his words - because he doesnt want them to think hes an idiot for taking me back - again, his words. So I sneak over there when no one is around, and stay quiet if someone calls. He and his daughter and our "best friend/sister" went to the club Fri and Sat, and didn't ask if I wanted to go....but he did call Fri nite at 3 am and want me to come spend the nite (my house is about 500 yds from his).....I didnt go. Am I an idiot or what?!?!?!

Well in that case no you are not an idiot i was not aware that is all he wanted . You are not a doormat for that kind of realtionship if that is all we wants . It sounds like he is using you just for that , because he feels he has to call you at 3 am WTH i say . i would not go over and i would not be mad at yourself for not wanting to do so .

ive always had a really hard time standing up for myself - i went from an abusive mother to an abusive ex husband, so my self esteem has always stunk. now that we have broken up, im trying to get a little better at it, because after all, what is he going to do....break up with me or kick me out?LOL!

Tell him you're not a cow and the milk is not free. Then find yourself a guy that appreciates a real girl, not a parttime night doll. Just my opinion.

I used to be so quiet and don't stand up for myself people would just run all over me and i got so tired of it i have learn t if you don't stand up for yourself no one else will.

This is so very true

Hi,

I am new to this as well. PLEASE stay away from him, the friends with benefits thing only works when neither have strong feelings. If you have that feeling think of it this way, everytime you go there you are inviting pain in your life..Trust me there are still nice guys lef. Found my husband on match.com and a year later we're married. I always had the worst like picking guys but I put it in my head that I deserve to be treated with respect. Sorry if I am intruding because I don't know you. Just take it from someone who has been there it's no fun doing something that in the long run hurts emotionally. It's like a few hours of happiness hanging out there to more heartache.

Hope this helped

Have a Happy New year

Jennifer

Now I think you're still married to him, right? Find a good lawyer and divorce this piece of s___! He's using you. I know it hurts. You want to still be with him. But all he wants is to fill up his free time. I know it hurts. But the sooner you get on with your life without him, the sooner you will quit hurting. This just prolongs it.