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10/01/2008 01:18 AM

true personality?

roomus
Posts: 1
Member

ive just recently been diagnosed and havnt started taking the medication yet... the doctor really couldn't answer my question. Has anyone noticed a personality change. Im really confused now becasue all the symptons of "up" period where basically my personality(or i thought). I thought i was just the guy who always had great ideals and said whatever was on my mind. my periods of up and down cycle fairly rapid and i just assumed that was me when i wasnt depressed. I now really just dont know who i am. Im afraid if i start the traditional medication im not sure who i will be. Take away the quick witedness and the confidence, im not sure there is anything else to me. can anyone shed some light on this?
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10/01/2008 01:37 AM
phantomgirl

The meds have helped me a lot in the past, and it certainly didn't take away my wit, and I've gained more confidence. In fact, I don't know how I'd survive BP without wit.

Bipolar doesn't define you, but you can't seperate yourself from it either. I myself am a rapid cycler, and I can assure you the things that did fall away, were all negative.


10/01/2008 03:43 AM
glory
glory  
Posts: 3668
VIP Member

Hey roomus, welcome to the forums. Browse around the site and jump in wherever you want to. Lots of wonderful people here as well as a wealth of information about BPD. What a, "WOW"", question you just asked. Don't think it's been actually put into words for us before. Here are my thoughts on it. I really don't think that the psych drugs can change the core or basic personality we have. If we are loving and kind before the drugs than we will remain loving and kind. If we are a jerks when we start taking the drugs, well, we're gonna remain jerks. The drugs don't rob you of your wit or your sensitivity. What they do is round off the rough edges that the disease has run amok with. They replace in us the normal chemical balance that our brains have stopped servicing.

10/01/2008 04:41 AM
LadyRahl
LadyRahl  
Posts: 1415
Senior Member

phantomgirl wrote:

Bipolar doesn't define you, but you can't seperate yourself from it either.

Well said!


10/01/2008 04:43 AM
norma
normaPosts: 10109
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Roomus...glad you posted this question. I think the fear of losing ourselves and having things like meds change who we are is a real fear. I agree with Gloria...the meds don't change who you are. Your personality is made up of a lot more factors than bipolar disorder. Your personality is going to be the same. Just your moods should be more managable. Meds don't take away all of the things that make up YOU. Nice people will still be nice and people who are abrasive and not social are going to remain that way.

10/01/2008 06:00 AM
anTerRchrist
cirquepourvousPosts: 1710
Senior Member

hey guy - in the grand philosophical sense we are all asking who we are and i believe that we always changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. for example, i have kids now and i know i've changed who i am. but for what i left behind, some better things have come along.

i believe the same about bp. there are some aspects being non-medicated that seem good and fun but with medication you'll find a clearer view of the world, who you are. meds won't make you a zombie and you won't lose that traits you like. go in peace my son.


10/01/2008 11:22 AM
diane38
grafxbydiane  
Posts: 7846
VIP Member

roomus . Welcome to the group I hope that you find a lot of the support here that one needs.

10/01/2008 11:41 AM
zinnia
zinniaPosts: 3990
VIP Member

welcome to the group. like the others said, great question. i think there are lots of folks who miss their manic periods. however, i've never seen anyone who misses the crash after the mania. i'll bet your personality is already fun loving and personable. when you have the meds, though, you look back and feel a little differently about how you acted during the manic periods. at least i did.

hope you find the support you need here. this is a really great group of people.

peace.

z.


10/01/2008 12:41 PM
seabass
seabassPosts: 656
Member

amen roomus, that's exactly where i'm at. the definition of hypomania is so vague in my eyes. what's the difference between hypomanio and just having a good day, or just being a confident, positive person?

i too was very hesitant to take meds because i though it would artificially change my personality. i saw them as 'happy pills'. they do not. i have taken some anti-depressants and saw very little change. i am on lithium and believe it can help, but currently not much.

To be honest, the depression has been going on for so long that i'm not sure who i used to be. now i only know who i want to be.


10/09/2008 09:16 PM
lauracarmel
lauracarmel  
Posts: 491
Member

i've thought of this question too, many a time.

but oddly not thought to ask here until today

but i thought istead of starting a new thread i'd see if there was already one...

i'm exactly the same roomus, i'm not on meds either

and my opinion of them (and bipolar) changes with my mood, of course

when i'm happy, like now, and i think i'm the best thing ever created (Laughing) i'm seriously reluctant to accept i'm bipolar. it seems like everyone now has to have something wrong with them, every part of their personality is looked at to gleam some flaw and "treat" it. it's like a fashion.

i have found though, a split between belief and knowledge, sometimes.

although right now, i'm perfectly aware i'm sounding disrespectful to everyone here saying there's nothing wrong with most of them and it's just who they are, i don't care.

but then i KNOW from experience that there IS something wrong. right now i don't see a problem at all. i might just go on like this forever. but i have to remind myself it won't. and then i think of medication.

i REMEMBER from experience crying and wishing someone would just give me pills to make it all stop, go away. not kill myself, just make me happy. i don't remember the emotions right now cos i couldn't give a monkey's... but i remember thinking it. and if i thought it, that can't be right, can it? having thought this way quite often over a period of years can't be right, can it?

so at the moment, i believe there's nothing wrong with me but i know there is. it's a weird feeling.

sorry, i'm rambling on loads, by the way. well, i'm not, you can't stop me, you don't know me.

but then, neither do i.

the question left though, after "will meds change who i am?", and the question i think roomus was getting at, is "which part of me is ill?"

right now, i'm on top of the world. totally sober. the best person ever created. am i just confident? happy? secure? or hypomanic? manic, even?

i've kept it all from my new flatmates too because i want them to see me as a person, not as a set of symptoms. but they're catching on something's not right. probably due to my odd behaviour. always a giveaway xD

i've always found, too, that when i accept i'm BP, everything's ok. if i don't, people react to me differently, they ask me if im ok and make comments about some of the unusual things i do. but which is the cause and effect here? does accepting it make me better or does being better help me accept it?

most of the time, it's my boyfriend who points out to me when i'm ill. i'll usually disagree until later though. especially as i've found i tend to forget a lot of stuff that i do/say or happens when i'm high or low.

but right now, i'm inclined to think i'm fine. not bipolar. this is just who i am. this is what happens. i am irrational sometimes. i overreact sometimes. i get depressed. i get hyper. that's life.

the only thing telling me i'm bipolar is my doctor and my boyfriend (who's mentally ill himself with loads of other stuff but not BP or anything related) and the internet and stuff.

but what if, what if we're all just a bunch of people who are similar in pesonality?

what makes our behaviour so wrong? why aren't we just considered "normal" people?

i'm going to apologise in advance cos i know i'll regret some of the things i've said later and feel bad. but right now my mind is racing and i don't care and i've got verbal diarrhoea xD

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