MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
09/30/2008 05:45 AM

Today is one of those days

HappyandSad
HappyandSadPosts: 64
Member

I feel OK. I should be happy. The problem is when I feel OK--I wonder why aren't I at work.

Now I liked my job, it paid really well and made me feel more connected with the world. But I don't miss being the career woman, I miss the loss of the paycheck and fear my impending "poorness". I still am on sick leave (almost a year now) and that is ending real soon.

The problem is, when I feel good--it is almost impossible to remember why I stopped working to begin with. I haven;t been manic in a while--just depressed.

Today is one of those days that I feel cured!! Chances are I am not cured though. Maybe I should keep a journal.

Meg

Reply

09/30/2008 05:53 AM
debiski
debiski  
Posts: 5493
VIP Member

I know how you feel. I was on sick leave for 6 months before eventually resigning from my job. I went on SSDI and have been now for three years.

Even though I have "income", I feel like I'm not "earning" it and I'm not worth as much as I was when I was working.

There are days when I wonder if I should try working again, but those days are short-lived when reality crashes down on me. There are probably times when I could work, but it wouldn't last long and I know this. I'm simply not stable enough to hold down a job. Not now. Don't know if I'll ever be. I just keep trying to tell myself I'm still worth something even without a job.

Deb


09/30/2008 05:59 AM
golferel
golferel  
Posts: 885
Senior Member

Hey H&S I keep a journal and it helps me. It helps me remember when I felt good and keep track of when I felt bad. I have a hard time remembering sometimes. You are worth something. You are special.

09/30/2008 06:12 AM
countrymouse
countrymouse  
Posts: 5693
VIP Member

I'm in the same boat as Deb, I was on sick leave for almost a year, and now am on SSDI. I find it very difficult on those days when I feel "fine". I worked for 20yrs before my dxs' and I'm home now and I almost feel like I have no right to be.

I have no family to keep me busy on a daily basis, so on those days when I'm feeling good I try to take on a project to feel productive. Sometimes it works. I like the idea of a journal, it's a good one.


09/30/2008 06:31 AM
ceegee
ceegee  
Posts: 961
Senior Member

I wish I could hold a job... I do good for about a year then it seems like I self-destruct and I end up quitting or getting fired... when I get depressed I miss alot of work and when I get manic I make bad decisions. I had my own business for awhile and lost it due to my making stupid decisions. now I'm afraid to work because, I don't think I could take the humuliation of being sub par at work. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but that's what I am afraid of.

09/30/2008 01:59 PM
jasonguyyeah
jasonguyyeahPosts: 290
Member

I know how that feels, when I started my current job 9 months ago, I was a mess ( I was struggling to stay awake on serequel and clonapin). And now, I'm struggling with memory again Smile with the paxil and nerountin. As I hope to pass my current classes. But, in a way I wish I could stay home and focus on school. Sorry if I went off subject.
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved