I want to tell everyone here that I am so thankful for the chance to share my story, as well as listen and learn from the stories you all have. This forum is home for me, I feel comfortable and accepted, and it is all because of all of you that this has been able to occur.
I'm doing better than I have in awhile....I am almost a month out of my second hospitalization, and am stabilizing after a manic crisis in the very recent past. I'm used to cycling almost every day since my med cocktail isn't quite there yet, but the past two days have been good ones, and so far I'm working on a third one.
I wonder does anyone else have trouble accepting their good days? I have been very sick for so long now (going on three months now) that it's very hard to believe that I may be evening out enough to start having good days. Does anyone else have doubts about how much is the disease and how much is actually your personality coming through? I am always dreading the mania starting because 99 days to 1 my cycles are bad, and I go from an escalation of mania into a spiral of depression.
On a side note, anyone have any personal knowledge or any knowledge at all about the drug Remeron? I am unable to take SSRIs (they immediately send me into mania or into suicidal ideation), and I need something to help control my OCD, which is comorbid to my BP I. Looking for effectiveness, side effects, etc.
As always, I appreciate the information. Hope all is well with all of you, and if it is not, I hope that each day brings you closer to a better one.
I have definitely had fear of the other shoe dropping when I feel good suddenly after a lengthy bout of depression or mania. It's like I don't trust what is happening to last beyond a couple days and then head into another mood. The good news is that it rarely happens now because I finally I have found the right cocktail that works to keep me stable. I hope this mood lasts for you, that your meds are working now in a way that keeps you level. There are so many meds to choose from that I am sure you will find one to deal with the depression effectively. If you are not on it yet, try Lamictal. It's done a great job for me and there are those here to take it as well who will say the same about it.
Hang in there and enjoy what you are feeling right now.
Post edited by: uppitywoman, at: 07/28/2010 08:33 AM
I worry at times that I might have an episode, but i don't wait for it, because it will ruin the good days. This doesn't happen very often due to my stability. I hope for many good days for you and that you get used to it. Maybe you have finally found your magic combination that you are looking for. You never know! I know who I am and what part is the disease, so I don't have trouble with that. The disease is how I act when I am depressed or hypo-manic. In between is the real me and I recognize it. I don't know about Remeron, but I'm sure others have some experience with it. I wish you good days to come and luck with your medications. We are here for you, never forget that.
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