Bipolar Support Group

I don't know where to start-everything is going wrong for me. I take my meds, and do what is expected of me on a daily basis but I am still so depressed I just want to go to sleep-not die-just sleep!!!!I am crying all the time and at innappropriate times and can't control it.Everything takes so much effort and there is no joy in anything anymore. I don't enjoy my family or friends, my gardens, my home, even food tastes like shit!!!!I feel like I'm moving through life mechanically from one day to the other just praying that things will get better. Every morning I wake up and hope this "thing" is gone and I'm back with my ol' sense of humor and my energy and motivation-but it's not. One day stretches into another and the days feel so long and so lonely. I feel like I'm moving through wet cement and everything takes so much effort. I can't make a single simple decision like what to eat or what to do and I find myself on the computer alot just to kill some time. Can't concentrate on reading or TV and sleeping is a luxury and I usually fall out from exhaustion. I am going to call my nurse practioner today to see if she can get ahold of my psychiatrist and see if he will tweak my antidepressant cause this girl needs major help or I'm going to land in the hospital

I understand how you are feeling, and it does sound like your meds need a tweak. I hope that the tweak will work for you and that you can avoid the hospital, but if not, remember that hospitalization is only for a short time, and then things will start getting better again. I just got out a little over a week ago (first time I was in for 6 years), so I know something of how you feel. The wet cement feeling will get better. Hang in there, and keep posting. We're here for you.

I really hope your pdoc is able to do something quickly. It's terrible to feel like that.

I am so sorry you are so very down like this. Depression really hurts and just sucks the life out of you. I totally agree with you getting in contact with your pdoc. A tweak with your meds might really help. I was beginning to spiral down a couple months back and upping the antidepressant worked for me. As far as hospitalization goes, you need to do what is necessary for your mental health and if a brief stay at the hospital will help you, then that might be what you need to do for a short while. I understand that you want to avoid it, but you need to do whatever is necessary to get better. Hopefully, an adjustment in your meds will take care of this. Take care and keep posting, we care.

You need to see your doc, asap explain just what you wrote here.

You are "Normal" for what your chemistry is doing to you, don't fight it.

I call it the dark abyss like a well with slimy sides.. I was so depressed one time, (many times but the first two a year apart sounds like the one you are in now)

I heard the commercial with the song, it's you thang, do what you wanna do,

I would bopped to it, then promptly went back into the dark abyss wondering if I would live to see kathie lee Gifford ever give birth, when she was with Regis.

If there are typos I have a gimp hand that i am going to the doc tomorrow, may have had a neuro stroke, I'm fine, I'm my own doc, lol, I tell doctors what to do, or they have gotten fired, as a medic, I believe in a good bed side manner, and the common sense given from birth to use the many years of schooling they recieve.

I kind of am the protector for sick people, it's not for me, I don't like a med person that is not qualified to preform wrong decision on others.

Anyway, got side tracked, I may have keyed into you about your faith in doctors.

Bless you, it's all normal chemistry wise, that needs to be altered, and don't let "unnormal" people give you advice like well meaning family members saying just get over it.

Just turn your ears off to those comments, they can never understand something they have never gone through,

light energy being sent to you as well as a special prayer done just before entering this shaman wise,

ok, got a message to also have a full phyical exam.

hugs,

wolf

Post edited by: DonnaLynne, at: 06/23/2010 06:46 AM

Called the crisis line and spoke with my TCM and she told me to just do "little" things today. Nothing major......The world is not going to stop turning if Carol doesn't vacum!!!!Got an e-mail out to my therapist who I see tomorrow and to my nurse practioner waiting on a response. In the meantime trying to stay busy to keep my mind busy. I am so immeshed in my own miserable thoughts I'm having trouble getting off my ass to do anything. So I scrubbed two patio chairs (boring) but at least 2 got done and I got to play in the water. No food in the house so I took the bus to the store and got some items I like to eat and things I needed and just got home. No one is home and the neighborhood is quiet. Exspecting bad thunderstorms later if they aren't too bad maybe I'll put on some shorts and play in the rain and act like a kid maybe that will make me smile alittle. A phone call from my kids would really cheer me up and an apology from my one daughter would really help since she blamed me for something I didn't do and walked out on me Monday without talking to me. I'm tired of feeling like an old mop that people just keep wringing out-I feel old and worn down and that's not me. At least the crying has stopped for now and I got something to eat. Still tasted like styrofoam-nothing tastes good anymore. All I want is coffee and cigarettes which I know is NO good for me. Might take a little nap if I can shut my head off until I hear back from my therapist or nurse. Thank you for your kind thoughts and words-this shit sucks the biggest one and I can't wait to feel OK again

I'm sorry you are so down and out. Try to do one thing at a time to get through this. I'm happy you called you psychiatrist and he's going to help you. A medications change is definitely in order here. Depression hurts so bad and you feel like you will never come out of it, but you will, just remember that. We are all here for you and if you do feel the need to go to the hospital by all means do it. It would make you feel better and it'd be a short stay. I hope you start feeling better soon. Stay strong. Hugs

It's okay to sit and do nothing,,,,,,,,,,accept it. But no, you went above and beyond, and forced yourself to cross off many to do list items that required energy,,,,,,,so therefore my dear, you are not doing as badly as you feel,,,,,,,,,I see a person who has strength when she feels none at all.

Bravo and take a bow,,,,,,,,,,kudos

Bored to tears-went to the store to get some ice pops it is so hot here today and I want an ice pop so I got 2 boxes of sugar free ones then I don't have to feel guilty if I eat 2-3 to cool off. No one is home and I've been down the street 4 times looking for my friend Tim who keeps me company but no answer. Made a pot of spagetti sauce for dinner but it is too hot to eat right now maybe later. What i really want is a cigarette and I'm out. I'm tired but if I lay down this time of the day I won't sleep tonight. Don't know what the hell I'm doing-I'm so scattered and out of sorts. My therapist called and she will see me tomorrow for our scheduled appointment and the nurse called and said unless I'm suicidal no med changes until I see the doctor which goes through my therapist will discuss it with her tomorrow and will take No for an answer-this is going on too long and it is taking it's toll. Going to go lay down for a bit and cuddle with my cats hugs, Carol

Sorry you are so bored. Maybe by you laying down, some time will pass. At least you get to see your therapist tomorrow!!