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06/22/2010 01:44 AM

Cutting ties, I guess!

CrossedWires
CrossedWires  
Posts: 914
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

So there is a bit of a back story to this but I am not looking for anyone to side with me indiscriminately, but just an honest opinion.

So my friend of like 10 years, there for my first SA, always felt something for each other, has had this girlfriend for the last couple years. This girlfriend has made a couple rude comments at me, and I called her out on them, and didn't put up with it. Just because I am bp does not make me a doormat.

The last time I talked to a mutual other acquaintance of ours, a guy who is quite temperamental and eccentric, he blew up at me honestly trying to help him gain some people skills, blocked and deleted me from facebook, and more than likely complained about it to our friend.

I talked to her on msn a few weeks back, she was in a very standoffish mood, so I said sorry if I caught you at a bad time, I'll catch you later, cheer up!

No response.

Her status on facebook tonight was

Cuddlin with the roomie

I posted

who's the roomie? Smile Smile

her girlfriend posts

who the fuck you think? Smile

I reply

I wondered why she called you the roomie, why 'the fuck' you so sensitive? Laughing Laughing

as a joke.

She deletes the 'who the f@@@ you think', so I deleted my last one too

she then posts

Gee I wonder Smile

so I though hey cool the hatchet is buried and put

haha Smile Smile

then my friend deletes me as her friend!!! Like, WTF?

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06/22/2010 03:27 AM
DarkestDepth
DarkestDepth  
Posts: 1030
Senior Member

It sounds to me like someone has some serious issues and I'm not referring to you. If she was a true friend, she wouldn't let other people make a decision for her based on their experiences and not her own. If she wants to be your friend, she needs to stick up for you when others try to bash you or pull some shit like that. That just makes me so mad.

06/22/2010 05:28 AM
ladymlee
 
Posts: 110
Member

I don't think she should have blown up at you without hearing your side of things at the very least-- and at most, what does she have to do with what you say to your other friend anyway? I think that this "friend" has treated you terribly.

The facebook thing sounds out of line too. If you were friends that long, I think she would have understood your response, so why didn't she take up for you? In my opinion, it's better not to have a friend than to have one like that.


06/22/2010 05:34 AM
WTF
WTF  
Posts: 1544
Senior Member

First of all i never deleted you as a friend!(ha ha ha)

Sounds to me like someone has sand in the ..... um .... nevermind!


06/22/2010 05:37 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42714
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I agree, your friend should stick up for you. I am sorry, it appears as though your your friend is not such a good one after all. As far as taking sides, your Facebook posts seem tame, nothing to incite such a response as you got. Were I in your shoes, I would talk to my friend about it,about how this makes you feel and be prepared to walk away from the friendship if it it doesn't turn out the way you'd hope. I am very sorry about this.

06/22/2010 07:43 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

omg I thought only females had this kind of drama! Good to know that males have their drama to!

I had a very good friend ( or so I thought) delete me from Facebook and it really hurt my feelings.


06/22/2010 08:59 AM
cptblack
cptblack  
Posts: 12381
VIP Member

Hey, no sexism! If some guys are DramaKings, we have the right. Tongue

Really a friend who puts a new person in front of an old established friend? I need a line-up card here to see who is the 'Mentally Ill' one here. When I'm your friend I cover your back. You dog my friend you face me and my flying monkey warriors!


06/22/2010 10:41 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16598
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Doesn't seem like a real friend to me at all. I would try talking to her and letting her know how awful it makes you feel and go from there. If she doesn't acknowledge it, she is no friend and I'd ditch her.

Facebook itself causes a lot of drama at times. It wasn't right what others said in this and maybe you should be glad they deleted you. They are very uncaring friends, well, I'd consider them not friends in the way they treated you.

I'm sorry you are getting treated so badly. Having bipolar is hard for people to understand, but it's not something you should be ashamed of. Screw them people!! We are here for you buddy. Stay strong. Hugs


06/22/2010 11:34 AM
CrossedWires
CrossedWires  
Posts: 914
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

Wow, I didn't expect such a huge response. Thank you guys, I feel a bit better about this now. She told me after that this 'had nothing' to do with that conversation, and that I hadn't been a real friend because I told her before that I loved her (just before my last SA), but that I had never done anything about it because I had to let her make her own decisions about who she was with. She took that to say 'let her' as though if I really wanted to I could manipulate her. I told her what I really meant and reinforced to her that I don't believe that, and people are going to make the choices they make.

She also told me that this mutual other acquaintance told her that I had said something to that effect as well; he's been known to do that and that is why he's an acquaintance not a friend.

I asked her to think and try and remember if she said it first for him to jump in there and say "oh ya he told me that too!" and that if she's really convinced, she should surprise him an ask him to log into facebook right in front of her, and hav him show her the message where I 'said that'. The guy is a manipulating douchebag, always has been, always will be.

Well, I'm off, that was my rant, time to get ready. I have a date with my little girl! Seeya guys, thanks so much for your support!


06/22/2010 06:15 PM
KC23
KC23  
Posts: 152
Member

That totally sucks. FB does create a lot of drama which is why I don't log into my account much anymore. If a long time friend is willing to put someone else before you then you probably were never as good of friends as you thought.

I had a friend from elementary school that was with me all the way through everything in my life. He was there for the suicide attempts, the self-injerious behaviors, all the ups and downs. We dated for two years starting in ninth grade. We broke up because we knew we were just better off as friends and we really were. When I got married there was no change in our relationship. Infact I even told my husband while we were dating that this guy has been with me for more than 20 years and if he could not deal with that then I would be picking my friend first despite my feelings for my husband.

About two years later he met someone (he did not date much at all). I think including me he only dated two other people and I was the longest relationship for him. So then he met this women and then all of a sudden he dropped off the face of the earth. I would call him on his cell phone and he would talk to me no problem. As soon as she would enter the room or whatever he would end the conversation abruptly. He didn't even tell me he was engaged. I was invited to the wedding and this was the first time I met her. And she was not nice to me at all. My husband thinks she was wicked jealous (I don't know why) and told him it was me and her. Well, I was not sleeping with him and never would since I was married so he choose her instead. I haven't talked to him since his wedding. I miss him a lot and it makes me sad. He was married two years ago and I have moved on. His mom has called me a few times asking me what happened. I just tell her that life has taken us in different directions. He must have been saying something to his mother. So, unfortunately life happens, and it can really suck! I hope that you don't lose someone like I have. Good luck in trying to make it work.

KC

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