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06/21/2010 07:17 PM

How does Bipolar affect relationships?

Posts: 1

I have been doing research about this,because I am wondering what on earth is wrong with me. And after reading a lot about it,and what other people say..I realize that this is what I have....

Bipolar Depression,is what they call it I guess.

When I get into these episodes,they last weeks,sometimes months. And when this happens,I am always Irritable,Impatient,Confused...the list goes on. And I have a thousand thoughts running through my head.

I cant sleep at night,because my brain just wont stop thinking about this,and that...

I am always tired and drained emotionally.

But I guess the important question is,if your in a relationship,does it affect your feelings towards that individual?

My relationship with this guy I have been with for 7 great. He is amazing..his family is amazing,and this is making me sick..all these feelings comming on suddenly..

I am not medicated.

Have not seen a doctor yet..

I just need answers..

I feel utterly helpless....and its not making my depression any better.Unsure


06/21/2010 07:23 PM
Posts: 10660
VIP Member

Pandahbear i have been married to the same man for 18.5 years and he tells me all of the time that i am a totally different person than i was before we was married. I have gotten so rude and hateful with him so many times for nothing actually today was one of those days and he does not understand at all. Afterward i feel so bad but at the time i am just not myself i guess you could say. It does affect my relationship.

06/21/2010 07:34 PM
Posts: 42705
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Hello and welcome. Really the first thing you need to do is see a psychiatrist and be properly diagnosed. Self diagnosis is kind of tricky. Bipolar depression is one end of the spectrum with hypomania or mania being a part of the cycle. If you are just experiencing depression, it may be unipolar depression rather than bipolar. So do make an appointment with a psychiatrist as soon as possible for the right diagnosis because they are treated differently and you want to get treatment started as soon as possible.

As far as it affecting relationships, yes it certainly does. Any mental illness does. My marriage and friendships have been negatively impacted by my bipolar disorder. I am fortunate in that my medications have leveled me out and I do not behave in the same ways as I did before I was diagnosed and treated. I am also blessed because I have strong relationships that have weathered my ups and downs. Not everyone is so fortunate in that regard.

I hope you will seek medical help for your depression. You really don't have to live with it.

06/21/2010 07:38 PM
Posts: 16593
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Welcome to the group. The first thing you need to do is go to a psychiatrist and get diagnosed, we can't do that and you can't do that on your own. I would make an appointment as soon as you can. Once you are diagnosed, medications will be prescribed and you will be on the road to stabilization.

Medications can take months to years to figure out. You must be patient. It can be frustrating and dealing with the side effects can be troublesome. I hope you are able to get an appointment soon.

We are a great group and we understand. Post all you wish and there will be suggestions and advice. Just remember we are not doctors, so this is just our opinion. I wish you the best of luck. Stay strong. Hugs

06/21/2010 08:25 PM
Posts: 67

it definitely takes a toll on relationships. You really have to get someone (a partner) who kind of understands (noone will truely understand unless they have it) and work from there. Get managed on meds asap because it will get worse. Good luck. If you need anything please PM me.

06/22/2010 05:37 AM
Posts: 1544
Senior Member

I do agree with everyone .. you need to get a doc and on some meds, it will only get worse otherwise.

Bipolar almost ruined my marriage. Thank god i have a wonderful(stubborned) wife who has really stuck it out. She ROCKS!!!

06/22/2010 07:15 AM
Posts: 78

Wondering if you are Bipolar or not - and all the worries that go along with the illness; what will people think of me? I do not want to be crazy? Will people treat me differently? Is this all in my head? Will people think less of me, shun me? What will the meds do to me? How am I going to cope with changing meds, changing moods, life style changes?

Struggling with coming to grips with an illness can be very hard, and take years depending on how aware you are of yourself, and how hard you want to work toward having a normal life, and what kind of support you get from the people around you.

There is no such thing as a little pregnant, a little bit of cancer, or a little bipolar, If you are aware enough to see and feel that there may be something wrong, then take the steps to find out – go to a therapist or pdoc and find out for sure…and no matter what the diagnosis – it will be the first step in many to work your way back to being stable.

Yes, it is hard, very hard – but you have to be as honest as you can be with your doctor or therapist – going to the doctor and not telling them all you can – can lead to many more problems. My ex was dead set on being ADHD, and when she went to a doctor for help, she did not go to really see what was wrong with her, she went to convince the doctor that she was ADHD, and because she was not honest and up front, or maybe because she did not want to be bipolar (the illness runs very strong in her family) she was misdiagnosed - they put her on a strong antidepressant without a mood stabilizer and she was thrown into her first bout of Mania – it hurt her a lot, she ran off with some guy she knew for 3 weeks, she lost her job, she had a lot of problems in the community due to some of her actions, and she is still in denial – needless to say she is no longer in therapy, because she does not feel that she needs to do what they say, and she may not even be medicated now – and it all started because she could not face the fact that she had something wrong with her, and she would not be honest with herself or with the doctors. I am not bitter about this – I have come to understand what happened to my life through the people on this site – I am not telling you this to vent, I am telling you this because this is what can happen when you are not honest with yourself or your doctors.

If you really think there is something wrong with you, take the time to really look inside yourself and decide what you want out of life – I would rather be a medicated, in control, responsible, aware bipolar – then to try and ignore and hide the fact that I was – hiding the fact that you are ill – or ignoring the fact, or not being honest with yourself is not a life – read some of the posts about some of the good people on this site that have taken charge of there illness, and have not let it win so to speak – they are the ones that will tell you that not being honest with yourself, ignoring the illness – makes life a hard and long road.

06/22/2010 07:23 AM

The next time you are feeling depresses- write down the thoughts that you are having. This may help your pdoc when you go see one. Also, when you have racing thoughts at night- write those done. What I do when I have racing thoughts, is I start counting things. It slows down my brain. I sometimes start naming things as well. I hope these suggestions help and please go see a doc soon.

06/22/2010 07:25 AM

Oh and to answer your question about how bipolar affects relationships. It affects mine because I isolate myself when I get depressed. I have a few close friends but other than that I am not a huge social butterfly.

06/22/2010 07:27 AM
Posts: 12381
VIP Member

Good idea on the notes April. And Sir PerksaLot the coffee pot agrees!

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