Bipolar Support Group

i'm so sick and tired of verbally abusive, mean, selfish, controlling people that step all over my boundaries and don't understand how much they're killing me and absolutely ruining (ruined!?!) my life, it's the most disgusting thing ever and the NERVE to look me in the eyes after causing me so much pain, after me pointing out EXACTLY which boundaries they've crossed and HOW they can HELP fix me if they WANT to help???? after all this suffering, they call me "ungrateful" and "horrible"... i USED to be somebody. and i USED to be thankful/positive/optimistic towards them... they took it all for granted, let it go to their heads, they seriously believe because i was someone, it was all their doing, and because i'm not someone now is obviously my doing. ooohhhhhkkaaaaaayyyy.... WTF!!!!

i don't know what to do to snap out of my anger/frustration/crying/fleeting self destructive thoughts/etc...

this happens all the time!

i don't even have a counselor right now, my services are all cancelled and being switched, i haven't had any kind of CBT for 6 weeks now... i'll be ok one week, then completely lose it the next. it's more like daily/hourly now. it sucks

i don't want to care or be here when i'm like this... it more than pisses me off... i'm more than disappointed, which is the last feeling i know how to describe. no one should ever have to be more than disappointed. ever. i tried my best.

does it help to know that there are others out here who feel the same...you know...misery loves company

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. Anger and frustrations take all we have and leave us lifeless. Are you on any medications? If you aren't I would get on some. We can't fight this illness on sheer willpower. If you are, then you probably need a medication tweak or change. You are not alone. Many of us feel this way. It sounds like my hypo-mania that you are going through. Any way we can help, we'll give it our best shot, so keep talking. Who is it that is telling you all of this if you don't mind me asking. We're here for you. You can PM me anytime if you'd like to. Hope you feel better. Hugs

i used to feel that way....now that we found the right meds, I want to live.. a year ago i felt like dying. I was new to bp and still trying meds. Finally the right combo and my life is normal again.

You are a person with feelings, emotions and you breathe just like any other human being. You deserve to b acknowledged for that and continue to set your boundaries. People can except and respect them or get out of your life. You have enough issues with identity and where u belong in this world. You want compassion and understanding not lectures. So stand your ground b proud of what u have accomplished. Continue to take CBT it will help u thru this tough times. Take care

Well you are the same person, you go through success, and failure like anyone else. Those who take credit for your success, and blame you for the failures are deluding themselves. We need more support when things don't go right, not blame. When things are great, It's not about who can take credit. It is just something to be greatful for.

Someone can not kill or ruin you unless you let them. You have to stand tall and know that what they say is not true. If they are oversteping your boundaries, maybe it is a good time to reevaulate the relationship. Is it family? IS it friends? Check out the Healthy Relationships Group and look at the sticky titled " Speaker/listener " technique. THat will give you some helpful tips on how to communciate with the people in your life. Maybe they are not understanding what you are saying.

anamouse I know how you feel right now. I too am feeling that way "hugs". Except I did something dumb buy getting really drunk last night to cure myh problems. Nope there still there but you"ll figure it and things will get better for you.

thanks for the support everyone.

april, i'll have to check out that forum.

to others that asked what medication i'm on, i'm sorry but i'm really sick of being asked that and doctors in general, i'm a very strong believer in CBT FIRST... there are many people with bipolar with ultradian cycling that have had the willpower to get through it without medication. medication is POISON... look at all the lawsuits... tardive diskenesthia? no thanks.

but, if you must know... i get crying spells, i have anxiety, i have panic attacks, i hear voices when its really bad, i get really hyper and manicy and can't stop talking, i get crazy ideas and run off, self destrucive, shaking, getting all crazy excited to communicate with people, i hermit myself up for weeks/months at a time, so when i get out, i'm a complete spazz at times, i can go from completely normal to completely psycho pretty fast, usually daily, but at least weekly, i find i'm fairly different in my moods about every 4 hours, so its kinda like, sometimes i feel ok and don't take my meds, other days i drug myself up the whole day and sleep (how am i supposed to function on meds 24/7, i'd be a complete zombie???). i'm on 100mg of seroquel and 1mg of klonopin daily. i don't take 100mg of seroquel daily, usually about 25-50... 100 knocks me the EFF out for 24 hours. plus i don't feel like gaining craploads of weight right now and screwing up my whole thyroid/kidney again, thanks.

I've been in similar situations, as far as people go. Sometimes the hardest/best thing to do is to figure out which people are "toxic" to/for you, and cut them out. Much <3 your way.