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06/01/2010 06:49 PM

Hi, having a bad time with my husband at present!

Josouth
Josouth  
Posts: 96
Member

Im really quite upset right now.

Only wish my husband would support me a little more in things, feel like ive really had all I can take from him now.

He is sooo wanting to not be with me right now, as ive been going through a bad time of late. Changed meds and trying to settle with them.

He went out to the bank at 2pm this afternoon and still isnt back now its 3:40am!

After telling him on the phone earlier after 4 hours of being out that I thought he was being a little inconsiderate, he put the phone down on me.

Am I being too controlling as this is what he thinks?

It would be nice if he could be a little more thoughtful of myself and my daughter after weve been stuck indoors for 2 days and taking the car with him.

Hes out probably getting drunk and smoking marajuana no doubt.

This is soo frustrating when he acts like this, what can I do, I feel like i wanna split from him and this isnt the first time Sad

Sorry to spill all this here, only I couldnt find a relationship forum on here?

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06/01/2010 07:08 PM
shaz66
shaz66  
Posts: 802
Member

I am really sorry to hear this is going on with you. I do think it's inconciderate, if nothing else you have to worry about his safety. It only takes a phone call to ease that worry, and maybe give you some idea when he will get home. Does he do much drinking, and smoking normally?

We are a one car family also, and it sucks. Hopefully it won't be forever. But what if you needed something? We live in a rural area nothing close by. So I agree with you not very considerate.


06/01/2010 07:39 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

No he wasn't very considerate on leaving you and your daughter at home like that. A lot of people don't know how to react when something is off, maybe that is what he's doing, just trying to get away. I hope he doesn't drink and smoke pot all of the time, that would make me very angry. I think you two should communicate better and you'll get along a lot better in the end. Tell feelings that go deep and have him in return. I hope you feel better. Hugs

06/02/2010 07:53 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

You are definitely not being controlling. If my husband did that to me, we would have a serious discussion about it. He was being inconsiderate to say the least. You say that you are on new meds. He needs to know that it will take a little time for them to work. Have you two ever considered marriage counseling? It might go a along way toward helping communication between the two of you. At the very least, try to get him to sit with you for a heart to heart. Also, ask him to come with you to your next pdoc appointment so he can hear from the doctor what you are dealing with so he can have great awareness. I hope you can work this out.

06/02/2010 08:19 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

I am sorry your feel the way you do. There is a realtionship forum on here and I am one of the group leaders. It is called the Healthy Relationships Group. Here is the link: http://www.mdjunction.com/healthy-relationships

You are a better woman than me because there is no way in hell I would share a car with a man! Hell to the no would I ever be put in a situation to have a man that can leave me with no transportaion!

That is my opinion and that is probably why I am single.

Try using the speaker/ listener technique when you are communicating with him. YOu can find details about it in the Relationships Group.

Hope to see you around here and there! Smile


06/02/2010 02:13 PM
Josouth
Josouth  
Posts: 96
Member

Thanks sooo much for your posts back.

We havent spoken all day as been at my families house for a get together lunch. He does drink and smoke ALL the time , so I am almost at my wits end with it all now!!

I tried to look for a relationship forum but couldnt find it, now I have though , thanks!

I took myself out tonight to meet a friend and get things off my chest, she said she would not put up with what I am!

He wont do councelling as he says there is nothing wrong with us, but it is my mental health which causes all the problems.

I am Bipolar, so run hot and cold towards him, but the fact is he does not treat me well.

We live in a lovely house, but its rented , he wont leave me (he knows he's onto a good thing! ie he gets away with it all!)

I dont want to move as i cant handle the upheaval and my daughter loves it here too.

He comes across all sweet and nothing with my daughter too!

Feeling trapped right now Sad


06/02/2010 06:19 PM
shaz66
shaz66  
Posts: 802
Member

God forbid you ever get busted with drugs in the house, or in the car. Whatever you decide to do. You, and your daughter come first. I couldn't afford alcohol or pot, even if I wanted it, which I dont

06/05/2010 04:34 PM
Josouth
Josouth  
Posts: 96
Member

I have been putting my husband through hell this week.

I called out the police as I felt threatened by him, in his actions towards me. Things got outta hand before they came and my daughter was around and totally freaked out thinking they would put daddy in prison. I had to calm her down and tell her no they would not.

When they arrived they talked to us seperately and helped me to get to a friends house for the night.

I had a sleepless night there, and then came home to a bolted house and a husband who said WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE aggressively. I just acted calm and he went back to bed.

I got some stuff together and left with the car (MY CAR, by the way!!) Went to the doctors and got an appointment, by now thinking it was ALL my fault what had happened the night before (my psychosis). God I am lost now, really dont know if I am coming or going? My friend took me for a walk, then social services rang me, asked me about things and said they were not going to take things further at this time. (this was the third time i had called the police in relation to my husband, so they were bound to call)

Ive since had to become more self sufficient, as my husband does his own thing. So have had a really nice day with my daughter and our friends. Then at 10pm tonight he has rang me drunk asking if I can pick him up. I did, and brought him home. We chatted a little and I try to talk some sence into him about his behaviour. He says I am giving him a lecture and goes to bed without saying a thing!!

I know this looks terrible, but I have to be sensible, and think of my daughter. I am getting a little more life for myself as hes not around rather than waiting for him all the time. I have to stick with the situation and try to help him, although I am not going to let it ruin my life anymore. I have quit drinking myself now, and can only lead by example. I do not earn and he is the bread winner, although his wage is not enough to get by on and I have to ask my parents to help as I cant work at present with my BPolar.

Things can only get better !!!!


06/05/2010 04:35 PM
Josouth
Josouth  
Posts: 96
Member

PS I must be the biggest MUG ever.

06/05/2010 07:09 PM
imaluckyducky
imaluckyducky  
Posts: 64
Member

"I am getting a little more life for myself as hes not around rather than waiting for him all the time. I have to stick with the situation and try to help him, although I am not going to let it ruin my life anymore. "

This is good, overall, to hear. Sometimes it is hard to help someone when they don't think there is a problem with THEMSELVES or no room for improvement, you know? Obviously it is a tough situation, and I can't say one way or the other what "should" be done.... just follow your best judgment...all we can really do. Smile Much affection and support your way. Smile

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