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06/01/2010 02:39 AM

Tough position.

WTF
WTF  
Posts: 1544
Senior Member

Well, it finally happend. I do have an extreamly addictive personality. I have been waking up between 4 and 5 every morning. About 4:30 my wife woke up and wanted to talk to me. She expressed to me that she was very concerned about my lack of sleep. She then went on to say she thinks i have become addicted to MDJ. She is very worried that i may be putting myself in danger by being so open and honest on this site. I explained to her that MDJ was a tremendous help and that people are very supportive. I then showed her that i have a quick link set up so it brings my profile right up. I told her she was welcome to go on at any time, with or without me and see any of my posts, diary entrys, discussions, ect. She said that wouldnt be necisarry. I need and respect my wife very much and have no idea what the right thing to do is. Has anyone else run into this? Any advise? I feel like i need MDJ, however i need my family more. I know she only wants whats best for me and would not have ever said this if she had'nt thought it through for a few days. This is not one that i expected. If push comes to shove there is really only one choice i can make. I really dont want to lose a group of people that help me, however i WILL NOT lose my family.Dizzy Sick Ermm Shocked
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06/01/2010 05:28 AM
ladymlee
 
Posts: 110
Member

I agree that it sounds as though she is just expressing concern but that she is not making you choose. If it turns into an issue, perhaps you could decide together on a time (or number of times of day, or amount of time or something) that you will get on MDJ. There are always compromises. But again, at this point it sounds to me like she is just expressing concern. You could just ask her outright what her preference is, but if you do, you would need to be prepared to hear the answer and to work with her. It sounds like she loves you very much.

06/01/2010 06:00 AM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13712
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Your wife is being very honest with you and has expressed a concern. I like how you answered her again with your honesty and you've let her know just how much this place is really helping you.

There are times (a lot of times) that i spend too much time here when i know i have other priorities but i too have an addictive personality and have become attached to the members here and care very much and want to be there for them. I'm working on balancing my time here. My husband told me that he never wants to pull me away from here because he's come to recognize that this place is really helpful for me and all its members to have each other. I felt so relieved that he's glad i have this place.

So yes for a while i was worried about how ofen i came online, etc. and how hubby felt but him letting me know the other day made me feel so much more content on being a member here.

Keep comunicating with your wife, tell her that you can vent and even help others by being a member here too. I like you and would not want to lose you, i guess its all about balancing this place with your everyday life.


06/01/2010 09:18 AM
UpdownGirl
UpdownGirl  
Posts: 165
Member

Try to get your wife interested in the support group for friends and family on mdj or if she is more of an in-person type, get her to go to a NAMI meeting near you. They are very supportive of friends and significant others of people with mental illnesses. It could make her life a lot easier.

06/01/2010 10:59 AM
shaz66
shaz66  
Posts: 802
Member

My Husband is expressing the same concern. He also says, I seem to be in a bad mood once I have been on. I don't think thats true, and I don't believe I am on here too much. I don't spend hours at a time on here. I just told him that he can monitor exactly how much time I spend on here, in order to set his mind at ease.

I have told him the site is open to him as well.


06/01/2010 11:40 AM
santos63
santos63  
Posts: 2524
Senior Member

Well, belonging to this group is 24/7 support, and you don't have to leave the privacy of your own home.If you went to a support group in your community, the support would be there, but on a possibly limited basis, and you would be coming face to face with others. So, I think this group is more private. And if you have anxiety issues, this is also a better choice. If there is more than one group or the group meets more than once a week, you'll be spending money on gas, too. (a trivial point), but valid if you are watching your budget, plus the time away from home and family.

06/01/2010 11:41 AM
dogdown51
dogdown51  
Posts: 405
Member

I don't think this site is addictive. I think it's a very strong support group. We may be vulnerable b/c we put our self's out there but look what we get in return. To me I feel comfortable b/c we all share our deepest darkest feelings n (secrets) but I feel safe sharing. Maybe your wife can watch u reading and then posting. You have nothing 2 hide it would probably reassure her Take care

06/01/2010 02:24 PM
WTF
WTF  
Posts: 1544
Senior Member

Thank you for all your comments and suggestions. I have tried and am going to continue to try to get my wife to join me online here. I dont know if she will do that or not but it is worth a shot. Both of us on at the same time is pretty difficult because we have a four year old. She has done alot of research on bipolar on her own and knows alot about how to deal with me. I have found one bipolar group close to home that only meets once a week. I have also found an AA group that meets multiple times every day, and an NA group that meets three times a week. Since my major problem is bipolar i think i will limit my AA/NA attendance but i have been an addict to many harcore drugs and alcohol for some time and only have 61 days clean. I have a tendancy to blow things out of proportion and i think i have done it again. I will talk with her again tonight and see what she thinks. At 4:30 this morning she was pretty groggy and i think i should give her a chance to express herself when she is totally awake. Again thank you for all your support. I dont want to lose you guys. You all ROCK !!!

Post edited by: WTF, at: 06/01/2010 02:24 PM


06/01/2010 02:35 PM
Van

My wife says that this place is my ONLY safe place.

06/01/2010 02:36 PM
tinlizzy
Posts: 2378
Senior Member

Yea for 61 days clean! You ROCK!!!! Please try to stay with us and maybe your wife was, as everybody says, just voicing concern. She actually sounds like a very logical girl to voice now before she felt things were getting out of hand instead of keeping it bottled up. Good for her and good for you that you have her as your support.

Nothing like conversing with people who have BTDT. You are already an asset to the group! Hope to hear more from you.

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