First Day (his diagnosis Bipolar disorder)

I am familier with mental health issues (I have Anxiety Disorder) I am also a student, currently studying Psycology.

I am in shock, in awh, and I am looking for some sort of support. I cant believe I didn't see this "Bipolar" (I thought he was an antisocial PD) Today when he walked out of the doctors office and didn't want to talk I knew there was something. The persciption for Depikote made me ask "did the doctor say Bipolar" It all sank in on the way home.

I have had the most intence,eroticand,Passionate love affair of my life with this MAN! It has also been the most damaging and painful experiance of my life (aside from the death of my mother)

He is HOT then, COLD. I find such security then sudden abandonment in his arms.

Today, I am looking back and saying "oh my God, Why didn't I see it?" I am, thinking of all the impulsive things he has done. How badly he has hurt me (for no real reason that I thought valid) but, he always Came up with justifacations afterwards when he came home again.

I need to talk, to be heard, I have questions, I am angry, I am sad, I am scared and strangely relieved to have a name for this.

........BIPOLAR DISORDER........

We started out, on top of the world and slowly over the last three years I have lost he ability to trust him, I have grown to think he is using me, he is cruel, manipulative, perverted, controling, out of control, unstable, unpredictable, unreliable, Mean!I actualy thought he was a sociopath and, started to feal like a victim. This wonderfull love affair with this man (that could be so..... EVERYTHING to me) this love affair was a sick joke and, that it is coming to a bitter and, painfull ending and, I didn't even understand WHY?

I want to think that maybe all the rotton shit he has done is not him, but the evil bipolar disorder.

I love him, I am scared that this isn't the CURE ALL and, it probably isnt but, it is a start... Rite?

There is good and bad news. The good news is that he is getting help, that he wants to feel better, that he wants to improve. The bad news is this illness will never go away, it will always be about him and he will probably never be the wonderful man you love all the time. Its a struggle. Many days I find myself saying its just not worth it. Many days I cry and ask myself what the hell im doing here. Its the hardest thing ive ever done.

The best advise I can give you is to educate yourself well. Talk and keep talking. Sometimes its all you have. Dont lose yourself in him, keep yourself healthy and take time for YOU...you are going to need your strength to battle this. Feel free to msg me anytime. Good luck!

I've had a hard time, He has been a wonderfull man, He always has treated me with respect. I have been 100% in love since day one.

Last february he got on one knee and asked me to marry he wasnt able to get a ring untill April He saved a lot of money to buy me what he termed "the engagement ring I deserved" he showed it to everyone, It was no secret and, it was beautifull and the sweetest thing ever.

I dont know what happened, he started lieing to me about things, litle things, The next thing I know he just left. He took the ring that he could of returned to the place of purchase for a full refund and sold it for 250.00 (nothing 10% what he paid) at work to some guy.

It has been so fucking hard this year. He had a drug history so, I thought maybe it was drugs I would give him urine test becase he acted Amped but he'd be clean, then he eventualy ended up doing drugs a few times, disapearing, lieing, lieing and lieing.

I think I have kind of just been waiting it out for the last four months (waitin for him to leave) I dont see how he could love me and, hurt me the way he has.

I was just waiting for him to leave.

Then today, this.... Bipolar Diagnosis seems to explain so many things. Impulsivity issues. I am afraid to fel that there is hope, but I almost cant help but, think, Maybe it wasnt all his fault (all the time)

God help you as you decide how to proceed with this man. I hope he continues to get to the doctor and gets himself straightened out.

Can you withdraw yourself from him until he is stable? Perhaps, after he learns how to take care of himself, he will present himself as a person more capable of having a real relationship.

Hope all goes well for you. Hug!