MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
05/26/2010 01:38 PM

hi im new here & dating a bipolar person

firefly09
firefly09  
Posts: 4
Member

Hi everyone.

I am lost right now. trying to learn as much as i can about this disease.

i have recently started dating someone with bipolar disorder.and i like her a lot but am worried what the future holds, or if i can handle it.

i have my two best friends giving me completely different advice. one says to run the other way. the other says to take it one day at a time and that its only a part of her. its not all of her.

i dont know too much yet about her past episodes.not sure what type she is. i know she takes a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant. she also cannot work.

i have two young children. if i didnt, i probably woudlnt think twice about it. But im hearing different stories and different perspectives.

I would just like to know if there is anyone that cld help me understand this disease better, more accurately. or tell me the possibilities of what i could be in for.

thank you in advance. hope you are all having a great day!

Reply

05/26/2010 02:07 PM
CrossedWires
CrossedWires  
Posts: 914
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

I am also bipolar, and although I'm not sure what type yet, I believe it is bipolar 1 because I do get fully manic. It is hard to tell because I seem to get mixed episodes, that is, both high and low at the same time. My advice would be to take it very slow, and by the time you get serious, if/when, know that you are making a clear cut decision to love her for long term or not at all. It can be a very rough road, there may be times you feel like walking, there my be times that she does, and those you'll have to wait out because there is NO changing her mind during an episode, most likely.

Those are the bads, and now the goods-

bipolars can be the most amazing, giving, loving mates you'll ever meet when they're stable. They can be your whole world, your everything and make you feel like you're the only guy on the planet, and that they seem to be made just for you. Not to mention they can be quite a handful in the bedroom ;D.

I would never advise you one way or the other, only help you to be a bit informed going in.

Hope this helps a bit!

Crossed


05/26/2010 03:08 PM
butterfly09576
butterfly09576  
Posts: 378
Member

i agree with Crossed Wires. it may be best to do some research on the internet. some of the most amazing people i met are bipolar. people in life, and people on here. there are rough times, but there will also be great times. i have dated a bipolar, and myself being bipolar, was told that wasn't a good idea. we broke up for reasons that had nothing to do with our bipolar. give it a chance.

05/26/2010 04:23 PM
CrossedWires
CrossedWires  
Posts: 914
Senior Member
I'm an Advocate

And may I also say it's commendable of you to go to this length for the girl that you obviously care so much about! Good man.

Try checking out some of the threads on here about dating, that could help too! Good luck man! Laughing


05/26/2010 05:52 PM
mem7478

Welcome. Your are a very supportive partner -that is awesome! My boyfriend is too and i tell ya-it means alot. Good support and info here for sure. goodluck!Smile

05/26/2010 09:32 PM
dogdown51
dogdown51  
Posts: 405
Member

Be honest with her. Tell her what u don't know makes u uncomfortable and it would help u alot if she could talk 2 u more about her illness. Tell her how she has become important 2 u and what her in your life(if thats what u want). There r group meetings u can attend in your city called DBSA. The most important thing is b honest with your feelings. She must b a lucky gal 2 have u in her life. Just keep chatting with us and welcome Take care

05/27/2010 03:41 AM
flyingncrashing
flyingncrashing  
Posts: 508
Member

I'm with dogdown. Be honest with her. She needs to hear the truth. There is so much information out there on bipolar disorder I'm sure she'll be appreciative of your interest in her disease. Relationships are possible. Many people here are in them. Overtime you will get to know a lot of people who are here to help. Take care

05/27/2010 07:00 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

I would suggest starting this relationship like I do all my relationships, as friends. I am currently seeing a man I have been seeing for 3 months. He and I go on dates but I insist that we are just friends for now. Succesful realtinoships are built on a strong foundation of friendship. I am a co leader in the Healthy Relationships Group if you would like to join. You could get some useful tips there.

05/27/2010 11:57 AM
santos63
santos63  
Posts: 2524
Senior Member

Expect the unexpected, each day is a new day. We never know how we are going to feel. Open communication and support is a must. Educate yourself about Bipolar. Read here and go to reputable sites like WebMD for info. If you can't handle it, be honest. I understand you have children. This is a tough illness, keeping your children in mind is a wise thing to do but Bipolar is not all bad as has been mentioned above.

If you decide to stay with her, always support her intaking hermeds to keep her as stable as possible. Best of luck, and welcome to the group. We are a great source of support.


05/27/2010 09:49 PM
leopardkisa

When my husband and I discovered I was bipolar, it was an incredibly difficult time. For a long time he took everything I said in a mood swing personally, and I took his reactions personally and it ruined our relationship. When I tried to commit suicide because I felt that I couldn't control the bipolar anymore, he said that he wished I would have been successful at it because it would have "made his life a hell of a lot easier not having to live with 20 different wives at once". I would go from telling him that I hated him and wanted a divorce to being hyper sexual and trying to drag him to swingers' clubs. He couldn't handle it, and by the time I got stable on medication it was far too late. Needless to say we are getting divorced now, even though I am better, because the things that happened when I wasn't under control severely altered the course of both of our lives.

If you decide to stay with her you have to be prepared to not take things personally, and realize that it is a life long condition and there will be times when she says and does horrible things that she doesn't mean. The smallest things sometimes can trigger a mood swing and it's incredibly hard for the other person to understand because the bipolar person doesn't understand it themselves.

My advice would be to get out while you can, even though it's harsh, it will save you countless hours of frustration and feeling powerless to help her. I am lucky that I do not have children with my husband, I couldn't imagine the stress this condition would cause on a full family.

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:
<< Start < Prev 1 Next > End >>


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved