So now we are a broken family that are all living separately and going to courts instead of enjoying the summer. We will probably get foreclosed on the house, will be forced to declare bankruptcy, probably get divorced and who even knows what will happen with the kids....

All this because her doctor could not forcefully get my wife help, and was crap of a doctor all along. Because of stupid HIPPA laws, and all the other stupid legal BS that prevented me from getting my wife help when she needed it most.

But that is ok as long as the privacy was not violated, only our family's future and existence.

Good luck on recovering from this set-back. As far as being mad at the doctors, that is a waste of time. Better to think about how you are going to help your children and yourself. Doncha think?

I am trying to get her to sign a global HIPPA waiver, giving me access. So that in the future I can try to stop this from happening again if I see signs of her getting worse. But now she is even more against it than before. I also want to be there and support her and help her get better, by working with her and her doctors, but she is refusing.

How can I convince her that I am on her side and just trying to help and be supportive, so that we can all get better as a family?

Also are there any reading materials for couples that are bipolar and how to get through things? Or any support groups?

Thanks.

As far as convincing her that you're on her side, I'm in the same situation trying to do the same thing. Being steady and constant seems like the first step. Your situation is more dire because of the babies. If she doesn't step up somehow or other to take care of herself so she can take care of them then it might force the issue. You can't jeapordize them.

You can always write a letter to her doctor explaining what has been happening and what steps you may need to take if she can't get to a point of being able to care for the kids herself. If the doc only sees her for a little bit and she's only telling him parts of the picture, how will he know about what is really happening? Although he can't talk to you about your wife, you can give him information that can help him giving her the best treatment.

This group has been supportive and I have learned a lot. I hope you'll stick around and try to learn about what's going on for your wife. You could always ask her to go to therapy together with you for your marriage, or ask her if you can go with her to some appointments so that you can understand bp better to support her. That approach might go a long way.

unfortunatly I went to an appointment with her to her doc when she was getting worse. The result was me explaning my concerns and her doctor agreeing with me. In turn my wife did not want to see that doctor anymore, because he agreed with me. She is also blaming the situation getting to where it is today, because she let me go with her to her doc. She is saying that I lied about everything and that she is fine. So now she is refusing any kind of interaction with me and her docs. and on some days she is ok with the idea of some kind of therapy together, but that therapy should be for me...

I guess only time will tell and help...

When I was divorcing my last husband, I was so manic and paranoid, I was sure he was trying to kill me. I wouldn't drink the water by the bed, I wouldn't drink the coffee in the morning, and I even threw up when he gave me anything to eat or drink. That's how real it was to me. I reported him to my lawyer and my doctor.

Of course, he wasn't trying to kill me. We are good friends now, but still divorced (for various reasons). I guess my point is when you're delusional, it's very real. I wish I had more to help you with, but I guess I'm just trying to explain this side of it. It's so ridiculous to me now, but it was so real back then.

It seems like the more important thing for you to focus energy on is, what happens next? You said things have improved. She's taking some meds but doesn't like it. Why is she taking them? Is it likely she will stop? You also said she may be starting an outpatient program. Is she doing this willingly?

Trying to convince her of your support is one thing (same situation I'm in). But a much more important thing right now is thinking hard about your little kids and figuring out what they need, making sure they are taken care of. If you need to take steps to insure that, even if it means taking more responsibility away from your wife, you need to follow through. Being serious about it may help her to see how important it is that she step up and take care of herself so she can continue to be a part of her kids' lives.

If I'm being too strong in this position, guys, please speak up and offer other perspectives that might help bman get through to his wife.

We even went to see our old marriage therapist yesterday, we used to go to her a few yers go. And after talking to us, she told us that she could not help us at the moment, and suggest it some couples group therapy.

We both have a great deal of love for each other, that is the only thing keeping us married still. (oh and the 2 kids) We argue about how this happened and how to fix it during the day over the phone and at night when I stay with my wife, we can be civil to each other. Watch a movie, have sex and be in love. And do the same again the next day.

I try not to fight with her, but I feel that until she realizes that she has a condition and that she did breakdown, we will never move on from this, at least I know I will not...

If you're staying to try and get through to your wife I think you should just make sure your daughter isn't left alone with her unless you're sure she's stable in taking her meds.

If CPS is involved, I would make every effort to get to know the caseworker assigned to your daughter and open up the conversation about your wife's health. If you know she's just putting on a show for them, tell the caseworker. And let him/her know if your wife is making real progress, too. Use those tools now so they will be there to support your daughter's well-being if things get rougher.

Just my opinion. Let us know how it goes...