When you feel like you are freaking out, do something relaxing. Your mind is still racing? that is a bi*ch. I hate that part. If it gets too bad, then call the doctor...and talk to the nurse. Describe what you are going throug, they may ask you to come in, send you to the ER, or have another way to help you.

We are here 24/7...and although, it is not like having warm live people there with you. We are REAL, and have been where you are right now and survived it.

The bipolar has not gotten worse, you are just recognizing what is going on. And that is good, because you know what it is. An imbalance that can be corrected...i am here for you, and so is AMOM...and others...you are going to make it through this...

As for the doing over, that is life...LOL i am a lot older than you and even with all of my f**k ups...i think i wouldn't do much over...i just learned along the way that which didn't kill me made me stronger...you can do this...

I agree with the others about your wife. You definitely need to talk with her about your feelings. I don't think you are being a baby at all. You are just not feeling well & need that extra support.

Lots of Hugs to you,

Amber

Please stop beating yourself up. Try to think about one thing at a time. Start with the things you can control like getting washed and dressed and eating regularly.

You've said you are good at your job, and that’s a positive isn’t it? As you are newly diagnosed have you told your employer? I know that I didn’t want to but once I did they were great and I felt so much better. There is no shame in being ill. Think about it, it might take some of the weight off.

It takes a while to understand your moods – I can sort of see it coming now but I can’t stop it. The key for me is if I have an episode I try not to hate myself for losing control of my emotions. If I really can’t go to work then instead of staying home alone and not contacting anyone I call a friend or family and say ‘Today is a bad day can I come over’ I’m lucky that I have key people that know I often can’t vocalise what’s wrong and sometimes I just need to be with someone in order to start putting myself back together.

It’s different for everyone; I hope you find the best way for you.

xxx

I really am sorry you are having such a rough time, I hope the meds kick in soon. Be easy on yourself. Keep coming back here, you have a huge support system here!

More Hugs,

Amber

And as far as nobody wanting to be around you... You thinking that doesn't make it true. Do you think this is the first time your loved ones have seen you in this kind of mood?? I'm willing to bet they've probably witnessed it before, even if YOU didn't notice it yourself. Stick to your plan, stay on your meds & believe me - it's VERY LIKELY that, in time, you will become closer to them than ever!!

I wish I could turn my brain off too. Sadly, we can't. But we CAN turn the volume down a little... Hang in there toots. I hope the sadness ends soon for you.

I love bike riding. I haven't done it in forever. Maybe you will be my inspiration in getting back with it!! The Yoga class will definitely keep you busy & keep your mind off of things for a bit. I used to think that I had to get a million things done in a day. Now I just think if I get a few certain things done in a day & I choose what they are HEY, I'm doing good.

Like Kimmie & lots of others I definitely know what you are going thru. I know when I first found out I was devestated. I felt like I was better of not knowing. If I just kept acting the way I did, it would have just been me, my personality. But, now that I have found the right meds, my moods are more stable. I am more aware of what they are & I can talk to my therapist & we work things out most of the time. It takes time, I no it seems like forever, but you will get there.

I think it might just be a trait some of us might have. Thinking no one wants to be around us?I mentioned some things above but?I remember talking to a friend & I was like 'I will let you go I don't want to bore you'. I thought she just called me for certain reasons? And she sais 'you don't bore me, I like talking to you' I was like HUH?I think it's just stupid thoughts we fill our brain with and we start believing them. I hate it.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Need to go dry my hair before the baby wakes up. Hope you are feeling better today!

Amber