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zinnia  Posts: 3990
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hi, all my dear friends. so many of you have been pm'ing me and hugging me, i thought i'd just do a post. as you know, i've been very depressed and anxious and having a tough time dealing with life. i have gotten so many messages and so many hugs from people who care about me on this site. imagine what it meant to me when i was so stressed this morning, turned on my computer and saw that i had 10 messages, all from friends worrying about me. i'm sorry i've been making you worry, but i'm so lucky i have friends that care and understand. you all made me feel grateful when i was at my lowest. i got an emergency appointment to see my pdoc. he wanted me to go to a short hospital stay. after talking, he agreed to let me try a med adjustment if i promised to call if things got even a little worse. a hospital stay sounds like a spa to me right now, but i feel like i have to keep going with my clients that have serious court dates next week, and help my boys get ready for school. besides, if my boys' dad found out that i had gone into the hospital, he would slaughter me like the sacrificial lamb. i may be bipolar, but trust me when i tell you they belong with me and he's not getting them. pdoc was really great and talked to me for a long time. together, we came up with adding lamictal to my geodon, klonopin, wellbutrin, synthroid, ritalin, etc. apparently, the lamictal takes quite a while to start working and he's really worried about my anxiety levels, so he gave me a beta blocker to help me out in the short term until the lamictal starts working. pray for me (or whatever you do) that i don't get the rash. i've been on so many different meds and i'm running out of options. well, that's an update. i just want you all to know how grateful i am to have you for friends. you have made me remember through all this that there are people who have felt what i'm feeling and who care. you have reminded me that i have helped people in the past, forcing me to stop playing the "i'm worthless" tape over and over in my head. thank you from the bottom of my heart. peace and love- zinnia Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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norma  Posts: 10109
Group Leader
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Love you too, sugar...check in every once in a while so we will know you are all right...I will be praying for you dear Zinnia... Comments made by me are from my own experience and they are my opinion alone, whose intent is only to share that opinion and not to give medical advice nor discourage from seeking medical help. Medicine is best left to the professionals that is what they do.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
Rest in Peace, Gloria...you will be missed. |
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Ikaz  Posts: 134
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Give the Lamictal a chance, because it took about a month for it to begin working on me. I've been taking it since march and it really helps with the depression. Not nearly as many things actually get to me anymore, and the things that do are much easier to get over, and it takes way less time for me get back to normal. I hope that you have as much success with your mood as I feel that I have. |
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KrissyH Posts: 2769
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(((((((((Z))))))))))) Been going down the same road as you sweety.....Had to do the 3 times a week visits to stay out of the bin. Recently changed pdocs and therapists and today was my first visit. Im not really thrilled with him as I can barely understand anything he is saying, but for now Im saved from the hospital visits. I am so lucky to have insurance that is good like that. Dont ya sometimes wish the exes would just drop off the face of the earth? If it werent for the heartbreak it would cause the kids I would totally drink to that. I miss you and hope to hear from you soon.... "I'm a master of Illusion...My masks, they seem so real...I can put on a happy face, when its lonliness i feel"
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~*~*~*~It takes courage to become happy -- courage to remain true to one's convictions, courage not to be defeated by one's weaknesses and negativity, courage to take swift action to help those who are suffering.~*~*~*~ |
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Trishy Posts: 10660
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Z i also take Lamictal and i can tell a big difference it does take awhile to see the full results of it but as you i also took something else with it until then. Glad you went to the doctor and that you are feeling better. What you see depends on what you are looking for
(((HUGS)))
Trish |
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KrissyH Posts: 2769
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Im up to 200 mgs of Lamictal...it does help when u get used to it....*remind me of that later ok?* lol "I'm a master of Illusion...My masks, they seem so real...I can put on a happy face, when its lonliness i feel"
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~*~*~*~It takes courage to become happy -- courage to remain true to one's convictions, courage not to be defeated by one's weaknesses and negativity, courage to take swift action to help those who are suffering.~*~*~*~ |
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zinnia Posts: 3990
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krissy-i'm sorry you've been down in this hole. i call it the blue funk. i'm so glad to hear that the lamictal is working for you. any rash at all? i will, indeed, remind you that you said that if you ever give any sign that you've stopped taking your meds  isn't it funny how we'll do anything to stay out of the hospital? it just feels like if you let yourself go there, you at rock bottom again and you'll have so many pieces of life to put back together when you get out. thank you all for caring so much. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia |
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zinnia Posts: 3990
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know what you mean about the exes, too. problem is, like you said, the boys love him and to ever lose him would break their hearts and it's not their job to deal, it's ours. it still sucks... Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia |
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Flaco73 Posts: 2615
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My ex has been everywhere in my life lately. Balancing med adjustments, avoiding triggers, and trying to supress heartache, can make me a pith of a man, at times. "Talkin' 'bout soulshine. It's better than sunshine. It's better than moonshine. Damn sure better than rain." - Warren Haynes |
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zinnia Posts: 3990
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that's hard, flaco. if you don't have kids together, maybe you could tell the ex that you really need to be left alone and that contact is not helping you. don't know if that's possible for you. just a thought. btw-haven't talked with you before. i'm glad you joined this group. i firmly believe that it has been the most helpful thing for me in dealing with this shit. peace. z. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia |
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