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04/18/2010 06:40 PM

Feeling of manipulation?

foolet
Posts: 13
Member

I was wondering if anyone else feels like they are manipulating everyone. Like idk how to describe it but I always feel like I am manipulating someone. Almost like How I feel isn't real like I'm just putting on face to get what I want. Also does anyone else seem to feel a lack of guilt? Like today I was annoyed and said some pretty rough stuff to my mom and she cried and I wanted to feel bad but I couldn't.... I mean she's a nice person and didn't deserve it...

Post edited by: foolet, at: 04/18/2010 06:42 PM

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04/18/2010 07:00 PM
jaguarandcubs
jaguarandcubs  
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Oh honey, I was like that for most of my life! It's only in recent times that I have felt guilt over certain things. My sister's son ran away from home, and I have stayed in touch with him even though his mother doesn't want anything to do with him. Anyway, my sister is pregnant - again - and she wasn't going to tell her son. So I did, even though I knew she didn't want him to know. He was going to find out anyway! Better to come from someone who cares about him than from out of the blue from someone else who just wants to cause trouble. I don't feel guilty at all! Not one bit!

Just for some background on my dear sister....

My sister has 4 kids (this is number 5 on the way) - 3 different fathers. Her oldest left home at an early age, too. Well, her mothers current partner called the cops and got her kicked out. My sister was actually married to the father of her 2 sons....which was a VERY bad relationship. Then she kicked hubby out, and moved the new boyfriend right in. And of course she had another child, to the new boyfriend. The one on the way is also his. He doesn't like having to share my sister with her kids, so he is slowly getting rid of the ones that aren't his. Nice, huh?

So yeah. Do I manipulate things with my dear sister? Absolutely. Do I feel guilty? No way. I do what I do to protect the innocent parties - her kids. Cause she sure as hell isn't going to do it!

I was always good at manipulating people to get what I want. I still do it at times. I nag my hubby to get what I want.....I wanted a new plasma, so I just kept talking about them until he got me one. Proud of it? No. Guilty? No. Well, sometimes I am. What to do about it? No idea!


04/18/2010 08:11 PM
foolet
Posts: 13
Member

Thanks for the feedback but not exactly what I meant. In what you did you shouldn't feel guilt, in what I did I should and I want to but I don't feel guilty. By the manipulation I mean like I feel like I'm just acting sorry so I gain something from it.

04/18/2010 11:46 PM
jaguarandcubs
jaguarandcubs  
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I SHOULD feel guilty for what I did with my sister. As much as I don't agree with her life choices, it's HER life, not mine. I love her anyway. I shouldn't have hurt her like that. I should have gone about things differently. But, I did what I did, and I don't feel guilty about it.

My point is, people can have the same feelings - guilt, manipulation, anger etc etc - but it manifests in different ways.


04/19/2010 07:49 AM
destroyed

Jaguar, i know exactly what you mean...i feel manipulative ALL the time and i hate it but i rarely feel guilty and don't know what to do about it. It's just the BD in me.

04/19/2010 11:25 AM
YorkieLove
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I could be wrong about this, but do you feel this is more of a personality trait, than a bipolar trait?

I feel guilty about all sorts of things and I don't manipulate anyone. In fact, it makes me nauseous to even think of manipulating someone to get what I want.

I don't mean that as a dig against you or anything. I know it may sound like it. I am just wondering if manipulation isn't part of a personality disorder, like Borderline Personality Disorder which is often comorbid with bipolar.

Post edited by: YorkieLove, at: 04/19/2010 01:44 PM


04/19/2010 01:26 PM
qualquun
qualquunPosts: 253
Member

destroyed, it's just the BD in you? are you seriously blaming that on your illness? where in the hell does it say that "manipulative personality" is part of bipolar disorder? you can't write off every tiny little negative trait about yourself and just say "it's the bipolar disorder in me". that's called using the illness as an EXCUSE and people who do that are the reason why other people have a hard time sharing that they have a mental illness, because they don't want to look like they're using excuses. if you're going to blame something on the illness at least get your facts straight.

04/19/2010 02:39 PM
destroyed



Post edited by: destroyed, at: 04/19/2010 03:10 PM

04/19/2010 02:59 PM
YorkieLove
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Destroyed, while I realize that Qual's comments were strong, you could have expressed yourself with better language. Regardless of our view points, we should always try to be respectful.

And Qual. Your words were harsh too. Maybe it would be good to practice being a little more respectful to other people.


04/19/2010 03:20 PM
foolet
Posts: 13
Member

I have no idea... It's like let's say I'm feeling sick & I stay home from school I look in the mirror and I just think like hahaha I tricked you into letting me stay home. But I didn't trick anyone I'm really sick.
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