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zinnia
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so, as most of you know, i've had a rough few weeks. it's been a real trigger and i now find myself in a pretty dark depression. lots of useless crying, feel like the people i love and the world at large would just be better off if i just ran away from home (not suicidal). it really sucks. i've gotten med adjustment from my doctor. hopefully that will help. something's gotta give. all i can do is hold on and i know when i deal with some of the stress i'm under and make some life changes, i will claw my way out of this. for right now, though, i'm crying, pushing people away, feeling guilty for feeling this way...the list goes on. then i'm driving in the car this morning and this IDIOT ASSHOLE "Dr. James Gordon" who wrote this book which none of us should read called "unstuck" is being interviewed. it's his opinion that all of the studies show that depression and "related illnesses???" aren't diseases at all. he thinks this disease is manufactured by the drug companies, cites a bunch of bullshit studies and then has these 7 steps you're supposed to use to get "unstuck". i want him to sit around inside my brain and feel what i feel right now. we spend our time talking about the depression that comes with this disease and encouraging one another to take our meds, and this idiot is claiming we don't have a disease and basically saying that admonishment we all love so much "pull yourself up by your boot straps". don't get me wrong. i believe lifestyle changes can help with depression, but i know i can't function without my meds and then i hear this guy who writes a whole book to tell people they shouldn't be taking drugs for depression. i know i'm bothered so much by this because i'm so down right now, but i also know it would bother me anyways. there are some of us who must take our medications to stay alive, let alone live life. if one person reads that book and says "see, i shouldn't take these meds", i'm going to hunt that guy down and do bad things to him. needed to vent. eyes swollen and hurt from crying all morning and then i heard that. had to get it out. thanks for listening. peace. z. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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bejeweled
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I'm sorry Zinnia that you are having a tough time. There will always be quacks out there trying to make a fast buck by selling a "new" idea, treatment or remedy. When all of the other evidence by reputable scientists points the other way - that is the way I look. There was a time when frontal lobodomy's were a sure fire way to stop symptoms. Or putting people in institutions was the only way to "deal" with mental illness. Now, I am completely willing to do a lobodomy on you for a nominal fee. I am trying to bring it back as a new "cure" for anything from headaches to annoying spouses. I don't actually own a scapel but I do have a full set of plasticware. (the good kind not the .99 cent kind.) Norma is my nurse. On my bank of america card it does list me as Dr. Angela. (That is the god's honest truth - it's why I keep the account.) So I have great credientials. Bank of America wouldn't lie. We can come to your house, just buy the plane ticket.  You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
Do or do not. There is no try. -YODA
"Someone call the doctor, got a case of love bipolar. Stuck on a roller coster and can't get off this ride."
-Kate Perry Hot & Cold. |
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norma
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Zinnia...i am with you. This is not a disorder that you can just "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" and deal with, that is why the meds are invented. Logically if people could do that then there would have never have been meds invented to deal with anyway, right? Modern medicine has tried to deal with it by behavior modification and fallen short. Hence, medicines to deal with the chemical imbalance. I am with you...on the danger of people reading this book and deciding to not take their medicine and getting really sick...Wonder if they have recourse under the law to sue his ass for giving advice that would endanger someone's health? MMMM food for thought. It is the same rationale that was going on with people giving advice to nursing mothers to quit breastfeeding until they started getting their ass sued...and that shit stopped. "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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norma
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Bejeweled....I am scouting a location for the clinic we are starting...please send the BankAmerica Card...we need to get that lab equipment STAT....and I decided instead of hiring nurses we can get some simians who will work for bananas. "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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zinnia
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thanks you guys. bejeweled and norma, plane tickets are in the mail and i'm ready for my frontal lobotomy. i'll even spring for a real scalpel or at least a nice shiny set of knitting needles, just so it feels more professional for you on your first go round. this could be a new calling for you both. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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norma
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Z...sorry you are feeling sad and weepy...i know that is a miserable feeling. Think of the meds like a safety net, they will not let you to get too deep into depression...just give them a chance to work. love you much...sugar.. "In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
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countrymouse
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I spent my entire life for as long as I can remember gripping my 'bootstraps' trying just to survive....screaming and crying inside and out I lived unmedicated for 20 years. An incest survivor, an abuse victem, a murder witness, a mother, a lover a kind and tortured soul. I have 3 bipolar family members extendin through just one generation. F#$% the 'Dr.'s who spew their crap that really have nothing to do with the the illness and about those who need and benefit greatly from certain types of medication. I can live now, and most days are better than others, I feel I have the tools to work with finally...after so long. I hear ya Z...loud and clear. Let's right a book about the over prescibing of ED drugs(erictile Dysfunction) crap and commericials I see all over my television set and send that to MR Dr. James Gorden!!!!!!!!!!!!! Music may start with a melody, but harmony is what gives it it's color. |
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zinnia
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countrymouse-i went a long time without meds, too, and it was miserable. looking back, i truly can't believe i'm alive. my meds make me realize that i have to love myself and take care of myself and usually, they give me the will to do that. i'm as strong willed as anyone i've ever met, but i was living with something that was ruining my life before i allowed myself to get on meds. now, like norma said, i have them as a safety net and even though i still have triggers and episodes, i know i have the meds as a safety net that won't let things get too terrible. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your idea about the erectile disfunction book. that guy was such a jerk, there's just no way he can get it up, and i'll bet if i told him that it was a "disease created by the drug companies" and he should just exercise and meditate, but not take meds that could help him, he'd shut the hell up...lmao. thanks. Well behaved women rarely make history.
Thou canst not disturb a flower without the troubling of a star...from "Troubling a Star", by Madelaine L'Engle...we all affect one another by our words and actions...it is our choice whether to do so purposefully and positively, or carelessly and hurtfully...may we all bring to one another the peace that we seek...
"if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. if you want to be happy, practice compassion" the Dahli Laama
Peace-
Zinnia
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countrymouse
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Guess I kinda laid it all out there..no guessing about how I feel about the subject. I resisted medication for several years even as an adult. Call it paranoia, stubborness who knows. I think that's partly why this type of thinking sets me off, there was a time when I think I wanted to believe that too, that I didn't need medication..I just couldn't need it. I have regrets now that if I had let myself get help sooner, maybe so much damage wouldn't have been done. I still dont function as what you'd call normal...basically a recluse who's afraid of most everything unfamiliar. But I'm getting better, and Norma's always right I've got a safety net Music may start with a melody, but harmony is what gives it it's color. |
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"I joined this site when i hit my ultimate low. Joining has helped me connect with others who understand me and how i feel and has helped me keep some sanity in my life.
