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PattiY
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Looking for support from others who have adult sons living at home that have Bipolar. I am new to this and am having a very difficult time. Things are really getting out of hand. Please help me. |
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MsBimbo
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Hi PattiY, Welcome to your new support group! We are blessed to have you here. I have a grown son who was bipolar and misdiagnosed as ADD as a child. He is now on Lamictal and doing much better. Please give us and introduction to yourself on the intro forum of this site. When we know more about your situation, we can respond more effectively to your support needs. OK? Again! I am glad you are here. MsBimbo |
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PattiY
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Thanks. My son is 23 in jr high he was diagnosed with ADD. Now at 23 he has severe panic attacks and has been diagnosed with Bipolar. He cannot keep a job for more than a month, spends money crazy,uses charge cards, doesn't pay them, lives in our home....does nothing, complains to me if I run out of some groceries. He is an only child and thinks the whole world owes him something. I want to make him responsible for what he does and doesn't do. I need to hear from others in the same circumstances in learning how to effectively deal with Bipolar children. My son thinks that everything in the home he has full use of. I now have a lock on my bedroom door so that he can no longer snoop around. I hate living like this. Any suggestions out there. Thanks so much
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jackjack
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I was just diagnosed as BPnos early last october,I understand to some degree how your son may act at times,( Lived a similer life for awhile and believe u me it was not easy on anyone) I hope you and he may have some idea of what he wants to do in life...What got myself out of the situation was preparing to go to school in a state farfar from home....I don't know how to get him to understand cause and affect of his actions other than gravity never quits and neither do the cops....If he has something that brings his mind to center even just for a short time maybe he should persue it.., I'm sorry i could not be more help but try imagine your son responding to this question @ 28 Goodluck |
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PattiY
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Thanks. He was in two different colleges 1 away from home the other night school. Problems with both. I am just not sure how to set boundaries and responsibiities and sticking to them. Thank so much |
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jackjack
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Hey i was just diagnosed oct.3-2007 been suffering 20yrs or more but I think your son must find that something that resides in his heart that he wants to do in life and then he may begin the journey of health through education, I have tried to go school many times but the only thing I did was go in debt. But I still want my education in my heart so I am trying to figure out the head issues @ this point,but i will graduate ,no if's and's or butts are going to get in my way........When I was younger I was socially promoted from 3rd grade through 9th grade before they kicked me out,when I turned 16...it has taken me years to find what I want to do in life.The best advice I can give is start small,Short courses may help build confidence for him...The home front on the other hand must be swift and honest for both of you,Don't tell him what you are going to do just do it,after a while he will figure it out.....Sometimes the blunt routine must be seen and not heard..Secure the house,Find cheap storage & move his junk to it,or u can take your chances with system and hope for the best but that is not worth it! I have seen too many bad things happen over similer situations,You have to love without giving him the power of your fears,But I think if he finds that thing he wants to do,things will clear up in time....Help him find what he wants to do in life!.... Post edited by: jackjack, at: 11/12/2007 10:36 |
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carmen33
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There is no reason that you should have to live in fear in your own home, tough love they call it, get him out, even if that means you have to call the cops and have him removed from your home, tell him you love him and that if he is willing to get help, then you are willing to help him, but until that time, there is nothing you can or will do. My mom lived like that for a while, with my brother when he was on drugs, she would come home and lock herself literally in her room, she could not even enjoy tv in the evenings for all his drug buddies and such being in her home till he went to prison, while he was in there, I moved her across the country, and when he got out, he came out here to South Carolina, and was told by me and another brother, that he would not be allowed to live with her again, and that if he went back to the drugs, we would personally turn his butt into the cops. He is still clean from the drugs, and she no longer has to live in fear. Good Luck to you, I hope that your son chooses to get the help that he needs. Post and talk with us, it will help you to find the strength that you are going to need to make this decision, I know how tough it can be, your a Mother and it is going to feel like you are abandoning him, but you aren't, your forcing him to stand on his own two feet. Think of it this way, what is he going to do if you are no longer here? Carmen
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PattiY
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Thanks Jacjack - it's so hard for me as mother. You are right on with the confidence level. He has issues with that. He is 23 5"3 and this has been very difficult for him. Being an only child I fear for him. Any other advise is so welcomed. Patti |
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PattiY
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Carmen thanks so much. When he takes his meds he is a pleasure to be around. When he doesn't take them live if miserable for me. As far as school, he was in two different colleges did not finish either. He wants to be a teacher, but he needs to get the financing on his own and until is follows through with the meds, it just won't happen. As far as drugs, he has been clean for 2 1/2 years now. He was in one detox after another, finally he decided he did not want to be a druggie anymore. It was hell in my family for three years also, because of his drug use he has Hep C which he will begin treatment for after January 1. This I am told could make him suicidal and even more depressed. The doctor told me that based on his blood work, his Hep C can be treated aggressively and within 6 months they assured me that they can kick it out of is system. This has cause my son even more depression. I don't sleep nights just thinking of this. Do you have any info on the Hep C aspect. I would appreciate anything. Thanks so much. Patti |
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carmen33
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Hi, Patti, it's a struggle for you for sure, you might need to speak with his doctor prior to starting treatment, and make sure that there is going to be no conflict with his other medications, and then make him get on them and stay on them, even if you have to tell him he will be kicked to the curb if he doesn't. Here are a couple of links that I have found on the Hep C, two are government sites, this should keep you busy for a little while with reading..lol, what you can do like I did, is type in hep c, and it will pull you up several hundreds of links on it. http://www.hepcchallenge.org/ http://www.cdc.gov/ncidod/diseases/hepatitis/c/faq.htm http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/hepc_ez/ Carmen |
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