Although the real question...problem, I suppose, is how do I make them see I need them, even though it might not seem that way to them? And what do I do when I ask for help and it stills goes unheard? How do you make someone hear you, REALLY hear you?

Here is a suggestion, if you need help be specific in the request.

If you are lonely, say I am lonely, can you spend some time with me.

If you are in need of someone to listen to you, say can you lend me an ear for 15 minutes (which is about all the time most people want to give).

If you need someone to really hear you ask them to do active listening. After you say something ask them to repeat back what you said. That way you will be sure that they are listening.

Honey, most people are involved in themselves. That is a fact of life. They like to talk about themselves more than they like to hear what the other person is doing or feeling. It is not all people like this but, a lot of people. So, having interests and developing relationships in which people don't seem to always be leaving you is, unfortunately, a skill. Like any skill it requires practice.

If it is any consolation, you have friends here...{{{HUGS}}}}

Ironically, the event that lead to this question had nothing to do Bipolar, but rather a fear. My mom got angry with me, and later I tried to talk to her, to explain what happened and ask why she was angry with me, but she refused to respond. (to be continued)

Urgh, I HATE asking for help (hence the whining comment) and it's just so much harder if you don't get any!

But I do love you guys! {hug}

Post edited by: phantomgirl, at: 08/12/2008 14:35

Sorry for these multiple posts - am sending these from my phone.

amom - your post did make sense, tx. {hug}

Anyway, I'm off to bed (it's almost 11pm here).

Tx a lot and I'll talk to you all tomorrow!

I hate asking for help to, it always makes me feel so small and weak and out of control. I just have to swallow my pride and ask, or someone that loves me will notice that I need it and offer. To which I say no thank you I'm fine, and they keep asking until I finally break down and accept their help.

I don't feel any better about it, I still feel small and pathetic because I feel like I should be able to handle it myself but... I get over it.

Oooh... shiny!