|
|
|
phantomgirl
|
I'm gonna whine a bit and ask "why does everyone always leave me when I need them the most?" Although the real question...problem, I suppose, is how do I make them see I need them, even though it might not seem that way to them? And what do I do when I ask for help and it stills goes unheard? How do you make someone hear you, REALLY hear you? |
|
Reply |
|
|
|
norma  Posts: 10109
Group Leader
|
Dear Phantomgirl...it is ok to whine, occasionally. Here is a suggestion, if you need help be specific in the request. If you are lonely, say I am lonely, can you spend some time with me. If you are in need of someone to listen to you, say can you lend me an ear for 15 minutes (which is about all the time most people want to give). If you need someone to really hear you ask them to do active listening. After you say something ask them to repeat back what you said. That way you will be sure that they are listening. Honey, most people are involved in themselves. That is a fact of life. They like to talk about themselves more than they like to hear what the other person is doing or feeling. It is not all people like this but, a lot of people. So, having interests and developing relationships in which people don't seem to always be leaving you is, unfortunately, a skill. Like any skill it requires practice. If it is any consolation, you have friends here...{{{HUGS}}}} Comments made by me are from my own experience and they are my opinion alone, whose intent is only to share that opinion and not to give medical advice nor discourage from seeking medical help. Medicine is best left to the professionals that is what they do.
"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but, shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it." William Saroyan
Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
Rest in Peace, Gloria...you will be missed. |
|
|
|
|
|
phantomgirl
|
Lol, yes Norma, I know you're right. Ironically, the event that lead to this question had nothing to do Bipolar, but rather a fear. My mom got angry with me, and later I tried to talk to her, to explain what happened and ask why she was angry with me, but she refused to respond. (to be continued) |
|
|
|
|
|
phantomgirl
|
(cont) This may be a silly example, but I often try to talk to people, and they just let it blow over them. I often wonder if perhaps they just don't know how to respond. I hate when a friend tells me they'll always be there for me, and when I need them... Urgh, I HATE asking for help (hence the whining comment) and it's just so much harder if you don't get any! But I do love you guys!  {hug} |
|
|
|
|
|
phantomgirl
|
I try very hard to learn from my mistakes (and others') - I try to deal with shitty stuff in a clear-headed, mature way - but that's only possible if the other person does the same! Hehe, unfortunately there's no way to determine who's right - 'cause we're all biased! Post edited by: phantomgirl, at: 08/12/2008 14:35 |
|
|
|
|
|
amom Posts: 1287
Senior Member
|
We love you too phantom sometimes people just don't respond the way we wish they would maybe you can try talking to your mom when she is more receptive or if this is ongoing recognise she may not be able or know how to respond.Sometimes too people are afraid they won't say the 'right 'thing so they don't respond at all. Hope this all makes sense.Amom http://www.mdjunction.com/holistic-alternative |
|
|
|
|
|
phantomgirl
|
Oh, and for the record - I was not calling my mom immature, I was talking in general.  Sorry for these multiple posts - am sending these from my phone. amom - your post did make sense, tx. {hug} Anyway, I'm off to bed (it's almost 11pm here). Tx a lot and I'll talk to you all tomorrow! |
|
|
|
|
|
bejeweled Posts: 1374
Senior Member
|
OMG!! OMG!! Phantom I have no idea what advice to give you but how the hell do you do this from your phone??? LMAO. I can barely do it on the computer. Impressive. You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen
Do or do not. There is no try. -YODA
"Someone call the doctor, got a case of love bipolar. Stuck on a roller coster and can't get off this ride."
-Kate Perry Hot & Cold. |
|
|
|
|
|
LadyRahl Posts: 1415
Senior Member
|
She's just brillinat, are you phantom? I hate asking for help to, it always makes me feel so small and weak and out of control. I just have to swallow my pride and ask, or someone that loves me will notice that I need it and offer. To which I say no thank you I'm fine, and they keep asking until I finally break down and accept their help. I don't feel any better about it, I still feel small and pathetic because I feel like I should be able to handle it myself but... I get over it. Oooh... shiny!
[img size=400]http://i270.photobucket.com/albums/jj119/LadyRahl/Glitter%20Text/Live.gif[/img] |
|
|
|
|
|
phantomgirl
|
It's so nice to see you guys can stay so focused…  Well, my technology-challenged friends  , I have to start off by saying this site is NOT mobile browser friendly… (hint-hint) But two months ago I bought a new phone (mine was stolen, by some lazy-ass bastard) and with it got a nice little application called Opera Mini. THAT is the god of technology's gift to the poor sods who do not have computers/internet access at home, and who would rather spend their money on something else than at an internet café. It groups everything nicely below each other, so you just scroll down. The only real limitation is whenever you try to post something or send a mail (on any site) you have limited characters… So whenever you're in the mood for writing an essay, you'll have to split it…which leaves with the frustration of trying to decide where to split the paragraphs before you run out of characters! There are a few other limitations, but I can totally live with them. Post edited by: phantomgirl, at: 08/13/2008 00:50 |
|
Reply |
|
