Bipolar Support Group

I have two daughters, my oldest is eight and I know she knows something is up with me. Now she is seeing a therapist and doc and they are concerned that she may be showing beginning signs of bipolar OMG! But just daily, how do you cope with the constant demands of family?

Hi Arual, welcome to the site. I am confused, do you have concerns for your daughter or yourself? Hopefully you are taking phsych meds and talking to your therapist regularly. May I ask how this 8 yr old knows something is "up" with you? Is it affecting the other child? How does the 8 year old manifest her problems? As far as everyday demands of the family are concerned, Be religious about taking your meds and talk with your therapist about your worries.

Hey Arual - welcome. I hope you are taking your meds. That is the first thing you can do for your family. I have an 8 and 5 year old and was diagnosed 4 years ago. I set small goals in the beginning. I napped when they watched a show. I made dinner. I took them to the library. It was hard, but it helped me and them. If your 8 year old is having problems do something special with her - just you and her. IF possible. Show the kids mom still cares even if she doesn't feel great all the time. It will help both of you.

what you described is pretty much where i am now except my daughter is having a very difficult time with her emotions and it is unbelievably stressful when things are calm i can manage but everyday is so chaotic

glory-- i guess my oldest feels my mood swings and notices my different energy levels she's very perceptive anyway the youngest is fine i believe

Hi Arua- Welcome to the family! I'm sure you will really like it here. When it comes to your kids. This is what I did that helped so much even when they were young. I was honest with both of them. I told them the truth about my illness. I took each one out for coffee (hot chocolate) and spent special time with them. Every Wednesday was for my daughter and every Friday was for my son. They really appriciated the honesty and the special time. Still to this day I make special time for both of them. with all my heart, Jeanne

Aural...when I was raising kids it never occurred to me to do anything else but, take care of them. I didn't have much time for myself. Went back to college when my youngest started school. I just coped with things as best as I could. When my son was diagnosed bipolar at 14 yrs. at least I could really relate to what he was going through. And in a way it was a blessing for me to have experienced the same things. I never treated him like he was anything other than healthy. His episodes were to us like having a cold or the flu...just treat the symptoms...and don't make too big a deal out of them...that is how we lived. And still do today.

My kids were older when I was dx'd, so explaining to them was no big deal. My 14 yo step-son knows nothing about my dx's though, because my husband insists on keeping it hush-hush around him. I figure he MUST wonder why I have six different RX bottles on my desk!

My older kids understood the dx, as they grew up watching me struggle. They had no pre-existing stigma about bipolar so they just knew it was what I had. I do have an 18 yo who is mentally handicapped, which makes some days a real challenge for me. He also has Intermittent Explosive Disorder (a behavioral disorder) which can be challenging.

All in all I do the best I can with them. I'm better now that I'm medicated, so it's a little easier. My first-born and I have made amends on the terrible way I treated her as a youngster (I had bad manic temper tantrums) and I still occasionally apologize to her for it. We're very close and she now understands that it was the illness and not me that was lashing out at her.

The best we can do is the best we can do. Having a good pdoc helps and having the right meds helps. Our children love us and hopefully will see past the disease to the "real" us.

Deb

I am going through the same thing. My son is seven and they are evaluating him. Some of it is learned behavior from me they say. It is sooo touchy. You know. I just keep reminding myself that they are just kids. I have a five yo too. They go after eeach other tooth and nail and believe me I know how hard it is to cope. Just tell them too go to their rooms for time out if they are misbehaving this gives a break to all parties to collect your thoughts. Try to give them things to do in another roo not that far from you so that way you can keep an eye but have space on bad days. WHen all else fails call in reinforcements.

great advice everyone. i have 7 and 10 year old boys. i've told the older one a little about my illness, but not the seven year old. i feel it's time, but i'm not quite sure exactly what do or say. it's something i've been thinking about a lot and trying to work at a strategy for. my goal is to tell them before school starts. i will sure let you know if i come up with the perfect idea but i feel i'll probably end up just flying by the seat of my pants, like i always do.