Mooshi
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My husband has a female friend (who is BP) that he has known for 15 years. The female friend has two children (7 yrs old and 2 years old) by two different men (both relationships were not marital). My husband loves the 7 year old and brings him to our house every weekend to spend the weekend. I have often wondered if my husband was the father but I know he is not through DNA testing. My husband says he wants to make a difference in the 7 year olds life to make him a better person. However, we have two children also (14 and 15 yrs old). My husband has also been loaning money to this female friend for years. She owes him about $3K. I have often asked my husband to stop this financial situation with the female friend but he continues to loan her money (which she sometimes repays in small amounts). He says that he is doing this so the 7 yr old will have food, electricity, water, and clothes. Since my husband doesn't seem to listen to me, I recently called this woman to tell her "how I felt" - this situation makes me feel very uncomfortable and at times, I feel that my husband puts this child's needs before his own family's needs (even though the friend and the children live in deplorable conditions). Anyway, the woman was receptive to my conversation since I explained my feelings to her in a non-beligerent way. I also explained to the woman how her son being with us every weekend makes me feel uncomfortable and that his presence cuts into our family time. Since I made the call to the woman about 48 hours ago, she has called me back twice (1) she will work on the financial situation to repay the loans and (2) her son's next visit to our house. I am just wondering if she is really trying to manipulate me so that we can be "friends". I am very perplexed by her lack of concern for our family time and I need some advice on this. As I told the woman, I don't want to make more problems for her but I wanted her to know my feelings (stop the financial situation and curtail her son's visits). How come she can't understand about her son spending the entire weekend with us? I think my husband and this women's relationship is VERY ODD - Am I crazy to think this? Don't ask if there is something funny going on between them because I point blank asked both of them separately if this was happening and they both acted shocked that I even thought this (and they said "No"). The differences between the women and me are like night and day (ie, this woman hasn't worked in 15 years and couldn't even hold down a simple job, I am a professional business worker, this woman dresses in rags and I dress nicely, this woman can't carry on current event conversations and I can, etc, etc, etc). I really think my husband needs help (like he has a "needy" complex) and wonder if she is possibly manipulating him. He often says she is having a down cycle and he is afraid that she might spin out of control if too much pressure is put on her. Thanks for any advice..... |
