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Mother in-law
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11/08/2007 08:24
jmm
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 Hi all! Let me give you some back ground first....my MIL was diagnosed 5 years ago with bi-polar and after some med issues and a 3 week psych hospital stay finally they found a combo of drugs that worked very well. She still had some issues but nothing like what we were dealing with before...she made the first 7 years (before she was dignosed)hell for my husband and I and her whole family for that matter. Now she has been great for the past 5 years until about 6 months ago... my husband (who is a nurse) and I (a teacher) started seeing behaviors and hearing comments that she had not done in 5 years. We believe that her meds are no longer as effective and that she needs to be put on different meds. Here is the issue...my FIL although he agrees with us doesn't want to "up-set things" so he won't confront her about it and likes to just ignore her behavior and she her-self when my husband brought it up to her replied with "don't even go there" and got pissed at him and hung up the phone. We don't want to have to go back to the hell we were once in with her nor do we want to have to end contact with her or stop allowing her to have contact with her grandkids until she gets help. However we also don't want the negitive behavior and comments in our home and around our kids. What do we do??

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11/08/2007 10:38
damselndistress
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 Wow that's a tough one.

Especially since you don't have the support of FIL.

It sounds as if you may have to let her mess up and say something in front of the kids that is inappropriate and then pull her aside and tell her how much you care about her and want her in your life but you aren't going to do a repeat of those bad times, for your kids sake. It sounds as if you might have to give her an ultimatum of either controlling her behavior in front of the kids which may mean a med adjustment for her or only visiting when she feels she can control her behavior.

This stuff is so tricky, I'm sorry you're in this situation.
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11/08/2007 10:45
bipolarmomma
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 I am sort of in the same situation as yourself wit my own mother. She is unwilling to accept the fact that she is behaving irrationally. Because of that fact accompanied with some other stuff I have had to cut her off from seeing her grandchildren with the exception on the holidays. And then only if I believe she can behave rationally and logically. It is hard to do and my heart aches each time that my daughter asks for her grandmother. I just have to tell her that her grandmother is sick and can't come visit right now. I would not wait until she acts irrationally in front of your children because it will leave a lasting impression. Let their memories only be those of happy times. I wish you luck in pursuing this, it will be a rough and bumpy road.

Many blessings to you

BE BLESSED!
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