Bipolar Support Group

well i haven't posted in awhile because i needed to get away from things and life. i had to postpone everything in my life because my ex-girlfriend really hurt me and her being bipolar has put me through alot of hell. i tried to do everything i could but every time she reached out she destoryed my insides. because of all this stress i decided to see a therapist.

my nerves are completely shot from all this stuff and felt i had a nervous breakdown. i'm seeing a doctor this about some anti-anxiety medicine because i get extreme shakes now and again.

i really am having a hard functioning as she still tries to hurt me and throw things in my face. it's like i can't even be mad at her and i have no idea why. i just want answers and the stress to go away and no matter how hard i try i feel i cannot just leave her. my life is important but i lost a few months due to this stress. i don't understand why and how someone can go great lengths to punish someone.

letting go is hard especially since she reaches out again and again and then destroys me and my insides.

i'm doing better somewhat but what is the best advice to do in this situation?

Dear Blast...If you keep taking her back then you might want to think about why you are doing it. The old adage fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me should come to mind. She keeps coming back because she can. There must be some reason you are letting her do this to you. Ask your therapist for guidance, dear. What YOU are doing is sick.

Professional therapy is needed here if you are going to heal and become strong. Good luck, sweetie...hope you get well soon.

thanks for writing back norma. i don't take her back but she reaches out to me and i told her off and said ic annot have you hurt me. she then tries to be nice but then turns around and attacks me maliciously and throws everything in my face as i'm such a bad person.

the problem is i care too much and she wasen't like this before. she left her job now and i have no idea if she will get it back or another one. she then tells me she cannot be my friend but maybe down the road. it's all this crazy stuff and i feel she just wants to punish me.

maybe i'm trying to make the impossible possible, and just maybe ther eis a chance i can be her friend and still in her life. it's very hard that she is gone. but again it's like she is gone but comes back. it's like a cry for help then not. the one thing i'm happy about is the fact she is taking her meds and being responsible for herself.

i get a piece of the puzzle each time. yet i still can't make out the picture at all. is it really sick to keep myself in this situation when i'm trying to be there? or do i have to really run before i end up in even worse shape.

You are doing good by going to theraoy.Norma is right to tell you that you need to evaluate yourself. Just because she is bipolar doesn't make it right to play with someones emotins if they know they are doing it. A person can give off vibes and confusion is a vibe. Maybe she's feeding off your uncertainty.? I hope it all goes well for you and do whats right not what you feel is right.

Blast...you are making YOURSELF sick by obsessing on this about her. You said it yourself, you had a breakdown. Now, you need to learn to turn off this obsession or your are going to never get well. If your therapist is telling you anything different, could you share it.

Coming here to a bipolar group to try and understand her behavior so you can dwell on her is not doing you any good. She is not good for you. It doesn't seem like you are strong enough to deal with her erratic behavior. Please understand I am telling you this because no good will come of this for you. Unless you become well and strong and have a better self concept you are not going to be any good to anyone, including yourself.

Stupid freaking page... now I lost what I wrote... so here we go again.

I once dated a man who said that if I left him, he'd kill himself. To say that he was an emotion mess would be an understatement and he used me so hard, sucked me dry of everything that I had day after day and I let him, because I loved him. Or I thought I loved him. Anyway (god I wrote this better before) it went on forever. He knew what he was doing to me, but he kept doing it and I let him.

In the end, I broke it off with him because I couldn't take it anymore. Because I loved him didn't mean that I had to die with him and he was killing me.

There comes a time that you much put yourself first and have faith that, in the end, what happens, happens.

She's her own person, she makes her own choices. Just like my ex did. Don't let her take you down with her.

The point I suppose that I'm trying to make is that there are people out there that will use their illness to blame their actions on so that they don't have to feel accountable for their actions.

Don't let the fact she's Bipolar control your responses to her actions.

well the thing is we didn't speak for 2 months and she decided to say hello to me one day online..the convo went well and it was very brief. but then days later i go to say hello and she flips out on me and tells me all these hurtful things and i'm like what is going on here?

my therapist told me that i should just let her be which i did..she said if she decides to talk to you she will..and maybe it's something you did she doesn't want to let go of..maybe breaking her heart in the past or simply that she doesn't trust you and the only way for her to feel better is to hurt you. or she could feel no self worth and is trying to push you away. maybe she doesn't trust someone who is caring and trying to be there and for her it is hard to grasp this concept.

i have been pretty strong in dealing with her for a long time..outbursts and words she had said to me..i have put her in line many times but i can only do so much. i told her off many times and said i will not take this abuse. she apologized but then after days or weeks she goes right back. i guess a part o fme believes she is better but eveytime i give it a shot she loses it.

because as much as i'm stressed up the wazoo..i still have been doing much better for myself. but i worry about her and the worst thing is why she keep saying we can be friends later. it's hard to deal with cause i'm not here for later i'm here for the now. i can't rid her from my life because it is not in my nature to do that to the ones i care about.

The long and the short of it Blast is that you can't help someone who doesn't want help. You might WANT to be there for her now, but that's not what she wants.

All you can do is let her know that you're there for her when she's ready.

yeah well i did that and she told me to go away and never wants to speak to me again..but comes back in weird ways. i'm just trying to understand the illness because i can't ignore her but i want to be stronger so if she does contact me i won't be so hurt. it's just the outbursts and personal digs that kill me. it's warped to hear some of these things and how they come out of her mouth. when i met her she wasen't like this then she all of a sudden has to go on a 3 month short term diasbility. no idea why but blames me for some of her stress. it's really just crazy to deal with. but i want to learn the right steps not even for her but for myself to feel good again..because she has brought me down somewhat.