a) she can be really flakey at times. We can plan an activity, or a date, or just to go somewhere. But when it comes time to do it, whatever whim she has at that moment rules the day. If she doesn't feel like going, she won't go, without a 2nd thought.

b) She can sometimes seem so detached from me. I mean, when things are good, we are very affectionate and caring towards each other. But other times, she acts very indifferent towards me, like I am barely even a distant acquaintance. It makes it really hard to know what she wants. Me? Or something else entirely different?

c) She tells me that she feels selfish for having me - like she is keeping someone else (who else that might be, I've got no idea) from being with me.

Oh well, thanks all for listening - again I'd really like to know if these things are typical for those with BP?

Im totally understanding what your SO is going through Mach....Hang in there...Its very scary for her too..

In other words, trying to tie in to bipolar disorder behaviors is difficult to say the least. And even on medicine the person does not lose the traits of their basic personality. Some people change their minds, decide they don't want to do things they had planned, or act aloof and detached, and it is just part of the way they act. All behavior that you do not like is not necessarily because of her bipolar disorder. Communication is going to help a lot. Why not ask her directly what she is thinking. Having bipolar disorder does mean that we cannot talk about things. Be open and honest with her.

Ask questions and then listen to her response. And let her know how her acting like this makes you feel.

the words "typical" and "bp" should never be used in the same sentence.they just dont go together.as norma said the personality of the person kinda defines the person.just as you could have a mean,lazy drunk or a nice,functioning drunk.they are both drunks yet diferent people.i have a bp wife and daughter and also had a bp friend staying with us for a while.all three have bp yet all three were diferent.the common"typical" traits are clear.yet they all portrayed diferent personallities.

the most important trait to remember....dont piss them off!!!!!lol

rob

In any case, I posted my original message because this is all so new to me - I really don't know yet which behaviors might be BP related and which are probably not - I suppose in time I'll learn to recognize them better. All I have to go on so far are a few internet articles that describe the symptoms - and there are so many possible symptoms it seems, and often they are described in a way that makes it difficult, at least for me, to try and figure out if something she's doing even matches the symptom - and even if it does, I don't think that even if a person has BP, not all behavior that matches those symptoms is necessarily BP. I mean, for example, a lot of the symptoms, taken by themselves, may not necessarily be indicative of BP at all - ordinary people might exibit them - and that seems to be the reason that they seem to say you need at least 4 or 5 of the symptoms before it can really be considered BP. i.e. insomnia can be a symptom, but just because you have insomnia does not mean you are BP. So if a BP person is having trouble sleeping, is that because of BP, or because they've just got a lot on their mind?

So I guess that this would all be a lot easier if there were 'typical' behaviors that I could ask the group about, but if there aren't then I understand.

Post edited by: MachThree, at: 08/05/2008 08:53

as for typical symptoms...you will see the changing of the energy levels,changing of the moods,sometime in the same day.it will probably be easier for you to pick out her symptoms rather than reading a book.

what i mean is i know when my wife is high or low by things she does.

high= shoes on,cleaning house,talking to much,changing topics(mid sentance)rearanging house,shopping,sex(hehe),baking,dressing sexy,shaved legs.some would say these are all normal,maybe so.but the week before she was low=sleeping 12-14 hours,loss of apatite,dirty house,sex(for get it),barefoot,hairy legs,make your own dinner.you get what i'm saying.sometimes the change is everyday,sometimes mid day!

the bad stigma that is attached to bp comes from the things that happen during extreme mania.spending sprees,sex(not with you),violence,job hopping,running off for days,and so on.

however many poeple do this without being bp.its repeat patterns that make the bp.

i didnt' catch how long you've been together,but over time you will begin to see the pattern.even on meds the highs and lows are still visable,just mild.the only way i can tell with my wife now is shoes.barefoot ....shes low.other than that its hard to tell.

your question is kinda hard cuz there are no clear symptoms.every one is diferent.trying to separate bp things from your wife things is a task.one i have not yet been able to do.

I assume she has type 2. It is more common. That is what my g/f was diagnosed with. One of the things that happens with bp II is the irratiblity and moodiness. That is called "mania" even though it isn't the extreme mania that bp I's have. The detatchment might be preferable to the full onslaught of anger and hostility that my g/f throws around. It could be she is trying to keep from lashing out.

My g/f also says that she doesn't deserve me, normally NOT when she is manic -either when she is neutral or depressed. And every single vacation we have ever gone on she has said she is not going a week before - she keeps that up until the day before we leave. She always gets on the plane though. Not sure why she does it.

There definately is a pattern to everything. It is fairly predictable now. We have been doing this 6 1/2 years. Occasionally she has a psychotic break and that is not predictable. Also, med changes can liven things up. It can make the mania more manic and the depression much lower.