Bipolar Support Group

Being bipolar I have never had a working relationship ever.

Sexuality is one part of it, but frankly by no means the main issue. I am currently in love and a loving relationship with a great girl, we've been together 4 years. We have our problems, a lot of fights, but I never felt so happy with anyone or had a relationship last this long. But we have problems thanks to my illness.

As for threesomes, it has ALWAYS been something I have felt was natural since being a very young boy. I know that is something all guys have fantasies about, I'm told, but I have always felt differently about it. I have been very sexually active in my time and had several oppurtunities to have a threesome which was purely sexual but always backed off. I have assumed that I wanted the threesome as a relationship model not as 'sport'.

I have talked with my partner about threesomes but she is extremely offended by the idea, we roleplay sometimes but I just feel ridiculous and frankly dissatisfied.

She has challenged me over it, and said that if she is not enough for me we should break up. I don't want to lose her. I never bring it up now, and don't talk to any friends about it. I'm a bit embarrassed about it. Despite the extreme havoc I have caused with the rest of my illness she has rarely threatened to break up with me. So it is a big thing for her.

I feel pretty torn. I think I can live and be happy with her and not be unfaithful or constantly thinking about a third person. However, it is very common that when she says she has problems or needs something and similarly for me- it feels as though I am missing a third person. She would have a perfect friend, and we would have someone else to mediate and help balance the relationship. I am convinced that my bipolarity has something to do with this.

I am also a bit ashamed that I am feeling like this, I don't want to be a stereotypical prick who wants two women- like I say, I have had the oppurtunity but it's not what I want. I think I may 'need' to be part of a threesome. But my partner would never allow it and I will never leave her for that.

Am I being ridiculous, sexist, selfish? Is this something you have experienced as BP?

Post edited by: Bunnyman, at: 03/24/2010 10:12 AM

Post edited by: Bunnyman, at: 03/24/2010 10:13 AM

Hello and welcome to the group. I hope you find this place as full of caring,smart and funny people as I have.

I lived a sorta-kinda 3-some life for a couple of years. When my wife was working, I was off and vice-versa. We rented our basement as an appartment to a fried of ours.

When the wife was working me and "Dora" would go out shopping, coffee sipping, movies and the zoo. "Dora" and the wife would do things together when AI was working. We were friends. That was about it.

It was not about sex. We were all companions. As for all 3 in one bed? No thanks. I hope all that made some sense to you. If your shooting for a sexual 3-some with the 3rd as a live in, good luck. Multiple women in one house seem to adjust to the same monthly cycles. Try having 2 fullgrown female lions for pets instead. Easier on the nerves.

I don't recommend threesomes. They do not seem healthy and could only lead to trouble. I think your trying to use that route to fill something else in your life that you are not getting. Try to figure out what that is. Or you could be going through the typical hypersexual symptoms of BP. Try to see your doctor if you are experiencing above normal sexual thoughts, feelings and drive. I always want to do weird and out there things when I'm hypersexual. Then when I come out of it.. I think "what was I thinking!" Try to talk to your doctor or therapist and see if something can be done.

When it comes to sexual matters it is hard to tell if its caused by Bipolar or just the fact you are male. I am currently still with my second wife. I had an affair last year and it became a very large mess. I was very happy with my life and although I hate to blaim my actions on an illness, I had no other explanation for it. With the time I was with my first wife and my second wife I had been faithful for over 19 years. I didn't even like my first wife years before we split and I didn't cheat. Now I was with a woman I was completely in love with and did. It didn't make any sense. I was running manic and crashed. Thats when I was diagnosed Bipolar. Since then I have wanted both woman in my life and can't seem to live without both. I know this is not right and its not the way I would normaly think. I wish I could live with both of them, but I know thats not right or normal in society. I know I am confused and Bipolar has a grip on me I can't break. If you are happy with your girlfriend, don't risk messing that up. It will only bring you more stress, anxiety, then most likely fall into a deep depression that you may not be able to handle. I have been in a depression for months now because of my actions. So in the end I haven't answered your question. I don't know if its the Bipolar or just being male. Most likely a mix of both. Its just my opinion that you shouldn't mess up a good relationship and hurt someone you love for an urge that could pass...

It sounds like you have thought of threesome's as a lifestyle choice if you thought this was the normal something you wished to pursue since boyhood. You might want to consider why

you prefer this, and then you can figure out where to go from there.

Being bipolar has nothing to do with threesomes. Is there a sex addiction group that may be able to give him more feedback?

I don't look at this as a Bipolar related issue. I won't lie; it's crossed my mind on more than one occasion in the past. Look at the adult entertainment industry and how the depict threesomes. It looks like a lot of fun from a guy's point of view. Do you think all of those actors are Bipolar?

My understanding about Bipolar and hypersexuality is the person afflicted with Bipolar may engage in reckless sexual behavior. That may or may not include threesomes.

So, no, I don't think this is Bipolar related. You're a horny guy, plain and simple.

I'm not one to give out unsolicited opinions, but I really feel the best part of any romantic relationship is emotional intimacy. My hope for you and your lady is you achieve that, and perhaps your desires for another partner may wane.

While some of the medication used in treating Bipolar Disorder can have sexual side-effects it sounds like this is a long term thing for you. Maybe just go over and see what they think in the Sexual related groups. I don't know if there is sex addition group as April thought of, but trying to find one might find you more answers.

Pardon me, but what if you found another guy to be in your threesome?

What are you talking about girl??