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03/22/2010 09:17 AM

support verses frequent debates

santos63
santos63  
Posts: 2524
Senior Member

When I first started posting, this group was very supportive, now it tends to be one debate after another, people are being competitive. I'm very sorry the group has taken this direction. I don't find this change to be helpful. Maybe I can get support from one of the other support groups minus the arguments.
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03/22/2010 09:50 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I am saddened to be honest that there has been a great deal of debating lately and I have tried address it. Again, people are going to have differing opinions, but no one needs to get angry or verbally abusive. This site should be and is open to those who cope with bipolar, regardless of how they manage their illness. Some self medicate. I personally think that is a really bad idea, but I do not go beyond making my position clear on it. I think that is the best way to handle any opposing viewpoint. I personally think that medications are the only way to safely manage bipolar, but I have to accept that others do not use medications. I disagree vehemently, because it is dangerous in my opinion, but I try to so it in ways that are civil.

I know that there may those who disagree with me, but as a group leader, I feel I need to help set the tone so this remains a safe supportive site for all who come seeking help. Remember, if you are really at the boiling point, I ask that you PM the person instead and carry on your debate there rather than the public forums.

We do not want people to leave this group.


03/22/2010 10:32 AM
Tom83404
Tom83404  
Posts: 560
Member

I agree uppity, to a point. If I see opinions being presented as fact, thus confusing reality and expiermentation, I feel we must at least post a disenting statement. I did this and then was attacked in PM. It seems that the tolertance for others "opinions" is only extended to those who are misrepresenting reality.

This frustrates me greatly.

As for me, I will do my best in the future to post my disenting information and then ignore those who choose to blow that out of proportion.


03/22/2010 10:49 AM
blond2much
blond2much  
Posts: 252
Senior Member

Don't leave! We need your encouragement and support. I hate that things have turned rough lately especially since I'm new and haven't been on here very long. Hopefully it will get better. But remember that not all of us are like that!

03/22/2010 03:23 PM
merryatl
merryatl  
Posts: 527
Member

I think its just important we all make an effort for everyone to feel safe, welcome and accepted in our posts. Especially with online forums, tone of voice and other things cant be understood- so its important we look over our stuff and make sure its friendly and supportive.

03/22/2010 03:46 PM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
Posts: 7033
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

This is still a great place for support regardless of the problems that we've had recently. In order for us all to have a safe and supportive place to come in the future we need to show some restraint.

I try to never take myself so seriously that I beat someone else over the head with my opinion. That's just me.

I think that many of us might be having a hard time right now. I believe that tempers will cool with time.

Let's please remember that this place is what we make it and let's make it great.


03/22/2010 03:52 PM
lizzytizzy
lizzytizzy  
Posts: 197
Member

this is so sad. first off, let me say- hopefully this doesnt offend too many people. the fact that i feel i have to say that to begin with is part of the problem.

ive been a part of this group for just a little while. mainly, i read. i dont post often. this was originally because i find it hard to open up to people. but now, everything has changed. i consider leaving this group as well because there isnt much support going on anymore. when i first started reading posts, i was amazed at how wonderful people are on here. i wanted to be part of that. then i posted a few times, and i wasnt received the way i would have liked. not saying anyone was mean or anything, but i felt less supported than others. i felt my dabbling into the discussions didnt go over too well. now, with all this argueing all the time, it almost scares me to post because i dont want to offend anyone or come off the wrong way. even our leaders arent conducting themselves the way they should. i understand its hard to always keep things under control, given it is the BP group, but this is getting ridiculous. and really, sad. its pushing me away. just imagine what its doing to the folks that have been here forever. or the ones that stumble across the website and read the fights that are happening. support group? ha. i beg to differ.

again- i hope i didnt offend too many people.


03/22/2010 04:23 PM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Lizzytizzy, you have not offended me in anyway. As far as I am concerned, you haven't offended anyone with anything you have posted. I hope you will stay with us. There has been some contentiousness that is NOT the norm here and the GLs are trying to deal with it.

As I posted earlier, it saddens me because I know how great this site really is and what a difference it has made in my life to be able to be here for the support. Anyone who deals with bipolar issues can be here. This is an open public forum. So please, do not feel you need to leave.


03/22/2010 04:39 PM
Alwaysdifferent
Posts: 415
Senior Member

Lizzy I agree with Uppity, please do not leave. This is a great site. I have noticed when there is a problem it seems to be addressed by a group leader or Roy. You are the only one that would lose if you leave the group. We want you here along with everyone else. As we all know everything has its ups and downs. Just wanted to put my two cents in...

A Cool


03/22/2010 04:43 PM
lizzytizzy
lizzytizzy  
Posts: 197
Member

thanks guys. its all just very intimidating to a person who is secretly always trying to fit in. i see people argueing over things and it makes me worried that people might jump down my throat if i really opened up. i guess i will just wait it out and see what happens
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