my loving spouse

I just felt compelled to write this after seeing all the posts of people married to bipolar folks or are bipolar and married to non bipolar folks. I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was like 9 or 10. At the same time my mom was diagnosed. Through the years of living with her I was able to observe the stages of bipolar without going through them myself. So when I got older I was able to recognize the signs in myself. NOt to say I was able to stop the rollercoaster of emotions just that I recognized them. After a few years of being an adult and going through a lot of therapy and horrible manic and depressive episodes I was able to figure out some of my own triggers. When I met my husband I was horribly depressed and lonely. I had just moved to a small town to take care of my niece and my house had burned down. SO I knew no one in town personnally but everyone knew of my family from past episodes. But my husband knew there was something different about me. I was completely upfront and honest about my bipolar and ptsd. He was a little scared but understanding. Over the last 3 years that we have been together not only does he accept my bipolar but he helps me deal with it. I explain to him everynight or so about how I am feeling and bounce my feelings off of him to find out if they are logical or delusional. He helps keep me grounded. He helps keep me away from triggers that might set off my ptsd or bipolar. But the KEY to our success is our constant communication. He also helps point out things that I can't notice about myself. Overreactions, underreactions. The whole nine yards. I hope this can help other spouses out there, no matter what the relationship status is. Just remember as in most other things COMMUNICATION is the KEY! Good luck all!

My husband had a blow up a mini one after an incident where we had carpet scheduled to be installed he forgot about it and the night before when I asked him if he was ready to help move furniture he lost it and went to bed leaving me with all the living room furniture to move myself. The next morning he lectured me and explained how uninvolved he felt in my life, so ever since I have been calling him at least two times a day just to check in and ask how his day is going and then tell him what we're up to. It has only been about 4 weeks but it seems like it has made a huge improvement in his mood to have me do this. I would encourage everyone to reach out in some way to their spouse, it does make a difference.

My husband will sometimes compliment me on the way I tackle some issue with work or home. But when I try to communicate with him when he is normal, that he has not been ok for the better part of such # of months (each time different) and that he wont' believe me. I have tried presenting it from the other side, "If you thought I needed help you would only be telling me because you love me, so I would trust your judgement...." As soon as I hit any kind of nerve, thats the end of it. It can even set him off bigtime for days. I hear you say the key is communication... Why can't I get him to believe me??? When he is "normal" & he hears me conversing with one of the kids about something & they are being stubborn, he'll say, "They should listen to you." but then HE won't!!! I am so tired of trying, caring, wondering ... what the H is he gonna do NEXT??? I am so happy for all you folks who are willing to Communicate. Sounds like it makes a tremendous difference in the quality of your lives.

Laur

I'm so thankful you have such a blessed marriage. What a wonderful relationship of communication.

You are one smart cookie! I know we don't always feel like we've got it together, but I think you pretty much do because you are at least aware of it or listen to the one whom you trust.

I'm going to change your name to 'lucky lady'!

((((((((((bpmomma))))))))))))))))))

Isn't it cool when we get on of these gems. One of these posts which put together the pieces we've been trying to put into place? What a blessing.

So glad for you and the hope you've got!

Hug!

MsBimbmo

I'm so sad for you and your struggle. Hopefully, this is just the beginning for you to find the support you need to make a difference in your marriage.

Here's a Laur hug and a hope for you!

((((((((((((((((Laur)))))))))))))))))