MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
03/01/2010 08:36 AM

How does bipolar disorder affect families?

Jazzmary
Jazzmary  
Posts: 1075
Senior Member

Hi i have a paper to do and its on how does having bipolar disorder affect the other members especially children. Please tell me your story u can PM me or write it her,e looking forward to your wisdom

jazzie

Reply

03/01/2010 08:56 AM
babygirl1427
babygirl1427  
Posts: 212
Member

Bipolar can affect families differently in many ways. My daughter is 16 almost 17 months old. I have been diagnosed with BP 5 years ago. It is considerably hard on my husband and her at times. She has seen me go through fits of rage to just crying. I have in no way shape or form harmed her, but she has seen me in a bad state. My husband sometimes doesn't know what to do, how to help or anything. It can be very draining on the significant other. They don't know what to do at times and sometimes feels like its their fault for when things go wrong. I can't really say how it affects my daughter cause she is not old enough to really talk, but I do know that what she sees sometimes makes her just want to sit in my lap while I'm crying and just cuddle. I have gotten better with her seeing my out bursts, but my husband sees them on a daily basis. I don't know if this will help, but I'll explain just from my experiences. Its hard on the other person who doesn't have bipolar. They can try to understand, but they can't relate. When your cycling, sometimes its hard for them to keep from exploding as well, because with me, I go into rage and depression more then I do mania. Its hard to tell if I'm just upset, or if I'm cycling sometimes, or at least it is to my husband. All I can say, when BP is out of control and not on the right medication it can be very taxing on all parties.

03/01/2010 09:03 AM
Arual001
Arual001  
Posts: 5030
VIP Member

i know my daughter (9) worries about me alot and has seen me have to go to the hospital. she has outbursts of rage and inseurity and is oppositional. i don't know if this is becausee of me or not... but i'm sure my emotional lability has something to do with her bad behaviors somehow. and it's very hard on my bf. we all need therapy, lol.

03/01/2010 10:04 AM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
Posts: 7033
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I have read that sons of a depressed mother have more anger and oppositional behaviors than those of normal mood mothers. This certainly fits my 18 year olds past behavior.

I don't feel that I've been as good of a mother as I could have been. Because of my illness I made bad decisions which left my oldest son with too little supervision when he was younger. Then I was so depressed or hypomanic when he was an adolescent, I could not successfully deal with his out of control behavior.

My youngest son has only been affected when I was so depressed that I could not get out of bed on time to get him to school. That was before I was diagnosed as bipolar and was being treated for depression only.

Now that I am being treated properly, these problems have stopped. My husband has been depressed because I could not function in our business and it drug the business down in some regards. He was very disappointed in me. Neither one of us understood why I could not function.

It culminated in a suicide attempt after he yelled at me for having to carry everything himself. He at least understands that I was sick now. Luckily, I am functioning much better now. I hope that this helps.


03/01/2010 10:25 AM
icygurl
 
Posts: 98
Member

It is hard to know what is normal for a child or what is caused by parenting. As kids become more and more independent they become more oppositional to what parents and others tell them to do. Becoming an adult is hard. Some kids have to grow up to early when their parents show them how bad life is but if the parent is regulated and keeps the child informed on the condition it may make for a smoother life.

When I went to the hospital the first time and was diagnosed my sisters and mom went on and on about how it was all my fault. I had made the wrong decisions. I should have come to them. Blah blah blah. My relationship with them will never really be the same because they believe that I could have prevented all this from happening. How am I supposed to go to them and talk when they believe it is not real? I dont know how they feel now after a few monthes but after it first happened it was all my fault and I didnt take their feelings into consideration when I decided to "go crazy"


03/04/2010 03:25 AM
Jazzmary
Jazzmary  
Posts: 1075
Senior Member

Hi does anyone else have a story about how bipolar disorder affects their families especially children

03/04/2010 07:08 AM
tattoogirl
tattoogirl  
Posts: 149
Member

Hi, I was diagnosed BPII ten years ago. When it hit, it hit hard. Deep depression and all that goes with that. That made me realize that I was also manic (I used to buy a car every year or so).

I have two boys. One is 18 and the other is 14. Yes, at times I feel like the worse mother in the world because I couldn't give them the attention I felt they needed. My oldest acts out alot now. He's showing signs of the disorder, which runs in both sides of my family. He is also very manipulative because he knows that I don't want to deal with a lot of the problems he is causing me and my new husband. However, my 14 year old is good for the most part. He understands more about the illness than the older one. I actually made him research it online so he could educate himself and know what to expect from me. I still feel like a failure to him. He's the one that missed out on time being spent together playing games or going to the movies. He does well at school which makes me proud and I reiterate that as much as I can. I want to see them succeed. I did the best job I could. Bottom line. I hope this helps.

Thanks,

DAI


03/04/2010 10:21 AM
Tom83404
Tom83404  
Posts: 560
Member

BP has affected my family in several ways. First since BP is herditary my children (19 and 15) have had to learn the warning signs so that they could recognize them in themselves some day.

While BP is heridtary it is not for certain a person with BP parents will get it. It just means they are more likely to get it. It's kinda like shingles. if you have ever had chicken pox you have the shingles virus laying dorment in your body. Most people never get full blown shingles, but its there. Something has to trigger the shingles virus to bring it to the surface.

BP is the same thing and the families of BPers have to learn to accept this.

Families have been drafted into a war in having to deal with and accept the mood swings of a loved one. This often causes a range of emotions for these families including resentment, embarassment, frustration, and anger. This in turn can create guilt leading to depression in the loved ones.

A diagnosis of BP is one that a entire family must shoulder the burden of and there is very little support for these families.


03/04/2010 12:46 PM
Lrose35
Lrose35  
Posts: 1732
Senior Member

My bipolar has affected my family with my behaviors. My 16 year old now feels its ok to yell and scream to get your way. This was one of my classics, manipulation. They have also put up with infidelity, me moving out twice and coming back twice, and a whole slew of other "classic" BP behaviors such as the spending of way too much money that you dont have. In short, my family feels that I have destroyed the trust and it has taken a year of hard work to start earning that back. I hope this helps you
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved