Bipolar Support Group

I have been seeing the cutest, sweetest, and most innocent man ... until he gets angry. He has TBI Traumatic Brain Injury from birth, and gets completely angry, verbally abusive, and immature when even the topic of anger comes up, or when he feels belittled. His IQ may be below 100, mine is above 120. He'll tell me what I'm thinking or saying - and the words don't even come out of my mouth! Our communication is awful.

I have bipolar manic depression, and this is driving my crazy. I have been "dumbing down" do be with him. He apologizes all the time for his attitude and anger episodes, and then gets cozy cute with me.

He lives across the parking lot, so I can't easily walk away from this relationship. Now, hopefully we are on a break. Unfortunately, I am not certain how to get out of this Bad Relationship.

To make matters worse, I am in a graduate program and need to study. His anger problem affects me deeply because of my diagnosis. HELP.

Hi spiritartisit. LTNS

Here are some of the steps I would take:

*I would take is be clear and honest with him. I would consider breaking up with him at a public place.

*if he does or says something hurtful to you DO NOT say anything as we all know silence is golden. Let him know that you have made a concrete decsion and your mind is made up.

* DO NOT feel sorry for him this eventually leads to you accepting him back into your life and if you do; you thought getting rid of him was hard the first time around wait until you try to pull that move again

*If he starts to pop up at your job or at your home PLEASE call the police. You may still have feelings for him but there are rules and he is definitely breaking them if after you said that you did not want to continue your relationship with him. Even if you have to file for a restraining order then that's what you have to do. Stand behind your intuition you already know that the relationship is unhealthy don't make it easy

(((hugs to you)) breakups are hard even if you are the one that wants to end it. Good to see you posting!

He's actually ringing my doorbell right now, I'm not answering. He won't stop buzzing. I'll just wait this out. It reminds me of the time I was a little girl and one stormy evening I was curled up in bed with my mother and sister and my drunk daddy was banging on the door to get in. We just waited it out. It was traumatic. ... OK, I think he has stopped buzzing now. I see him though the window heading home. I think he may have an "I'm sorry" gift. When will this cycle end??? I am tired. Going to bed. (so you think you guys aren't stressed out ... he's now calling me. I'm not answering. He's going to leave a message. Yep, he's got a gift and note. I answered and told him nicely I will not accept ... he mouthed off again, I hung up). Well, if this is insanity, get me a relationship pill. Any words of wisdom besides, "get out of this relationship"? Tried that. Urgh!

Thanks April,

Your advice has a mountain of wisdom. I think I've gotten myself dug so deep that I can't get out. We were on a break, then he told me his mother sent money for us to go out for a Valentine's lunch ... I finally said OK. Then we spent all day Valentine's Day together, it was fun and loving. But today, just one word about the anger problem and he's off the deep end. Can't even communicate anything worth discussing. After two years ... am I doomed? Can't even move away because of school. Shoot, I feel so stupid. And I'm paying a dear price. Well, I can sleep this one off tonight. I'll check this blog tomorrow morning, so I would appreciate the important feedback. I never wanted to do the restraining order, I still don't. He's got TBI, a worker, and a careful family. Major social explosion if this happens. I'm alone, isolated from family, and poor in spirit.

You could move to a different location, couldn't you? That way, he's not across the street from you.

April's right...if he continues to exhibit stalking behavior, call the police and get a restraining order. You don't want to be on the wrong end of his anger mismanagement problems.