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10/30/2007 10:10 AM

bipolar jealousy

jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

Has anyone had any experience with the bipolar loved one expressing jealousy towards other family members, ie. jealous of children, jealous of S/O social life, jealous of grown children's success?

There were major control issues as well - wanted to feel in control of other people's lives

Post edited by: jlh1956, at: 10/30/2007 12:11

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10/30/2007 11:57 AM
heatherr
heatherr  
Posts: 395
Member

oh yeah. Jelous of the wind and something he is jelous of one day, he is not the next. Its sad.

10/30/2007 12:20 PM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

yea, it is sad. The jealousy was the hardest part for me growing up with this - because it didn't make any sense to me at all that my dad would be jealous of me - heck I was trying to make him proud of me, I looked up to him and for approval. When I would tell him of my accomplishments he would take that as me trying to put him down and as a kind of personal attack on him. I only recently figured all of this out - so you can imagine how painful it was to a child to have your dad attack you anytime you told him about your good doings.

It always seemed like he was jealous of me, but I dismissed that notion every time because it just seemed too insane. (Why does everything always have to be about them - it seems so incredibly childish - I used to always feel like the adult)

On a more positive note, I am doing much better now - well on my way to healing - I had to figure all this stuff out on my own since he lived and died in denial, but learning as much as I can about his illness helps more than I can say.

This support group has been a godsend for me. It is amazing when you go searching for answers what God will reveal for you.

Post edited by: jlh1956, at: 10/30/2007 14:28

Post edited by: jlh1956, at: 10/30/2007 14:33


10/30/2007 01:02 PM
heatherr
heatherr  
Posts: 395
Member

It is a hard road that I am still trying to live with. Im glad you are finding peace.

10/30/2007 01:11 PM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

Thanks Heather - it's been a long, hard road for me, but I think I'm making progress. Much luck to you in your journey - your husband is very luck to have you - you're special!

11/13/2007 06:17 PM
sassysue
Posts: 23
Member

oh yes jealousy is a major issue with my boyfriend too. everything is exaggerrated

11/13/2007 06:27 PM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

Through a recent therapy session, my therapist explained to me that it is VERY COMMON for Bipolars to feel jealous.

11/16/2007 05:19 AM
mommaj
mommaj  
Posts: 15
Member

Growning up my mother was so jealous of me and my sisters. We took my dad's attention and she hated us for that. She has to be the center of attention. I can't even go to there house to see my dad without her coming in and taking over. There is no mother daughter bond. Sad but true.....

12/11/2007 08:33 AM
Scared
 
Posts: 4
Member

Jih, I know exactly what your talking about, Im a college student and the better I do the more it seems to annoy my husband. He has been on this kick that Iam not better than him? Its almost as if he believes that by educating myself that I am rejecting him and our life? I dont know where this is coming from, I have never said anything different or changed in the way I interact with him at all.

12/11/2007 03:50 PM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

For my dad, I finally figured out it was a cognitive distortion - he was magnifying my accomplishments and minimizing his desirable qualities, thus feeling extremely jealous of my accomplishments. This is not rational or logical thinking on their part and it takes therapy to work through this. At least now I can have a reason for all the pain. Good luck to you!! My dad unfortunately did this to me constantly and it completely sabotaged our relationship - if I had known then what I know now maybe my relationship would have been better - I don't know thought - he was also alcoholic and in denial.

I know what you think about them not wanting us to think we are better than him - that was a big issue of his - he put me down all the time when I would tell him something good I did - also so many years later when my thirteen year old daughter (his granddaughter) won a beauty pageant, she was the youngest and least experienced, but well spoken, and poised, the only thing he said to me was "I hope she doesn't get the big head!!", then turned and walked away!! I stayed after while complete strangers from all over came over to congratulate her! That's just an example of what it's like.

Post edited by: jlh1956, at: 12/11/2007 17:57

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