Bipolar Support Group

My name is Bill and I'm a 30 year old, wheelchair bound man who is maaried to a 37 year old bipolar/schizoaffective. We've been married 3 years and while my wife has never left, she threatens it nearly monthly. Two weeks ago she told me I "made her life negative" and wants to be placed in an assisted living facility. According to her, she loves me, still talks lovingly at times, and doesn't want a divorce. I'm so confused. I would do anything for her, but I don't want to lose her. Any advice?

Hi Bill, I'm Krissy, nice to meet you. Can't give much advice, I'm Bipolar myself. But I can tell you that we are the hardest people to live with. Most of the time we are not sure of our own feelings and that scares us so we lash out...Well me anyway. I know through the years I have said some really mean things to my husband, because I wanted to hurt him. Not because I hated him or stopped loving him, but because I had no other outlet. My anger is all I had to hold on to at that time... and even still, medicated and all, I still have to be careful not to jump all over him when I'm having a bad day.

Maybe asking her if you can have a talk about how you are feeling? I'm here for awhile if you just need a shoulder...

I appreciate it. I've tried talking, but it always ends with me "being a negative influence". Everyone around says I'm a good husband. I cook, hire housekeepers, do all the grocery shopping, and work. I don't want praise for it, just my wife...no matter the pain. I feel hopeless.

Is she on meds? If so, has she been taking them like she's supposed to?

Welcome to you Bill. Your story is too sketchy for me to make any sense of. Is your wife under the care of a Psychiatrist? Is she compliant with meds and counseling? What does your physical condition have to do with anything. Please fill in some gaps.

My wife is on meds, but they don't seem to work. She sees a counselor twice a week, but usually cancels three times a month. I really am not 100% sure on her diagnosis because in 3 years it has gone from bipolar/schizoaffective to multiple personalities to borderline and now back to bipolar/schizoaffective. She also is a type 1 diabetic and has fibromyalgia. She just insists I'm a negative influence. I will try to fill in any blanks, I just don't know where to start.

I wish I had an answer for you Bill...She really needs to talk to her doctor about her meds not working. Is there a reason she is calling you a negative influence?

Ah Bill, I think I am beginning to see. You can't beat yourself up over her thoughts or condition. This is a disorder that only she can control in herself.. Your only job in all of this is to take care of yourself. It's not what is best for her, but also what is best for you. Mental illness can only be mastered by its owner. Don't get lost in her disease, Bill, it will do neither of you any good.

She tells me I talk down to people. Ironically, no one wants to talk with her and go to me instead.