changes

Anyway, he has always had these cycles. He has had

3 distinct personalities with his changes to the point I nicknamed them (to myself) #1. Chucklehead -very upbeat, laughing at the end of sentences that were not humorous at all, spending money like water #2. normal

very rational, appropriate moods for events, even apologetic for crazy things

he did while acting like #1 or #3. Weeks went by with no problems, focused on family, house, job etc.

#3 Nasty Bas...d - Yelling, temper tantrums over insignificant (in my eyes) things like how towels were folded, or whether handles were up or down when loading utensils in dishwasher etc. etc. Extreme verbal abuse and name calling. I notice whenever there are ANY kind of stressers (good or bad : vacations, births, deaths)

it usually set him off. He also had flair ups with the change of seasons/ and extreme allergy attacks as well. Now however, he seems to be flipping from one extreme to the next without any clues. I also think he has not been what I would call "normal" for quite some time (4 months?) Yet he continues to hold his job. I was told by a relative who works with him that because he has been there 20+ years he is probably on autopilot.

Anyway, since he hit 50 he has just been bonkers and I am really MISSING HIM even though he is right under the same roof. He used to have a major episode about once every year or 2 way back when, now they are all a blurr

I am very exhausted. I feel so bad for him too because sometimes I can almost "feel" the energy he is expending

just to try to seem OK. Has anyone elses bp loved one

changed to this degree? Anyone with BP have an answer?

Laur

Fran

I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but it won't get better without the medication. There are secondary, but very important issues to be resolved now it has progressed so long. First there's the abuse you and others of your family have endured. That's the PTSD you will have to recognize and get help with recovery from. Second, he will have loads of guilt and misery which increases the intensity of his cycles, frustration, and anger. He will need counseling to help alleviate the guilt and become free to heal. Third, as of yet there is little hope for any recovery other than these things, medication, counseling, and an active community of support.

I did well at work, too. I was an ace. I even wrote my own performance reports and awards for my boss to sign. Then, though I was ok at work it got bad at home. Eventually, it moved into my work and it began to go downhill, too.

There is little to no intimacy in relationships -not sex, but social and emotional relationships.

I hope you can get him to read some of these posts or other help.

He sounds as though his anger will turn into violence towards you or anyone else he is angry with in reality or not. This alone is cause enough for concern. A concern to get immediate help before he hurts someone including himself.

Keep us posted, ok?

Hope all goes better soon,

MsBimbo

We were driving to get subs and I had just

come from exercize so I had my car's air conditioner

on.

He had the nerve to remark I was wasting money.

(If my heart wasn't so broken, I would laugh)

I told him he had a lot of nerve complaining about me

spending an extra 50 cents on gas when he spends

thousands of dollars on ebay and beer. He went

BERZERK!!! I turned the car around & drove home him screaming & cursing at me the whole way.

Once it continued at the house I called police.

They said he was calm but they would still remove him if I wanted. I did not have him removed. He has been

quietly watching TV for hours now.

Become proactive. Become a doer and help yourself as well as him. Not to take responsibility, but when you help yourself, you will indirectly help him. It will be rough, but he needs you to cut those apron strings and let him take responsibility for his actions. when that happens he will begin to seek help. If not, you've done all you can do without killing yourself. let him go.

You will be fine. You are special and precious. You are a beautiful person who deserves to be happy in life.

Take care,

MsBimbo

Thanks for your words of kindness. You are right about me needing to get help for myself too. I was in therapy with a great person for 10 years and she retired & moved to Fl.! I then started seeing someone else but she was more of a "Sooooo How does that make you Feeeeeel ???? " kind of therapist LOL. I missed the other one because she had been divorced, thru the mill herself, and our conversations were more lively and detailed, I felt like I got more off my chest with someone who really understood. I have been trying to take care of myself. I have hobbies that I still pursue, go to exercize, spend time with my kids, enjoy my pets, .... I'm trying just like everyone else!

Laur

Live life. Don't put it on hold.

I hope you are encouraged by these words.

Hug! MsBimbo