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crig
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Sky, Well, I haven't been on for a while now, because I had basically given up any hope that my husband and I could really make it work. He is BP and addamantly denied it. For the last 4-months or so, it has been really really hard. I had pretty much given him until the first of the year to do something or we were through. Guess what, he has finally realized that is it possible he just might be BP. We've had nothing but full out knock-down drag-out fights for months now. For a year and a half before this, I pacified him and tiptoed around him so as not to set him off, WRONG!!!! Everything set him off, and I do mean everything. Absolutely nothing was ever right or good enough. I made up my mind that he was slowly killing me, killing my spirit, my soul. I started standing up for myself and defending myself (hence the knock-down drag-outs). I don't know what happend, but last week, he realized that everything I was saying that he did was true. He realized how much he hurt me and all he ever did was say I'm sorry. I told him that he was completely wrong for treating me like a punching bag and all he had to do was say "I'm sorry". I owned up and he faced facts. He had made that doctor's appointment in December when he realized I was serious, but had no intentions of going. After last week's enlightment of his condition, he admits he needs to go. He is scared to death and has told me he is because everyone will think that since he is BP he must be "crazy". I quickly attempted to clarify that and told him that it was not a mental condition as it was a neurological one. It is completely a chemical imbalance and the imbalance just happens to be in the brain. It is not different that someone who is diabetic and requires insulin or someone with allergies. The imbalance affects a different organ, but still affects an organ. I guess what I really want to tell you is don't give up on you. Do what is right for you and your happiness. You can love him, but you don't deserve the cruel treatments that someone with BP will cast on you. I am speaking from person experience and knowledge. Take care of yourself first and formost and let the chips fall. Take care, crig |
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sky
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Thanks all, I felt terrible about divorcing him. I still know I made the only choice for my own mental health. Even as I am so sad, there is still a part that is relieved. Crig I hope your hubby goes to the dr. I hope he is still in the frame of mind to go when it is actually appointment day. Mine had 2 appts in the past 5 yrs. He went to the first one but wouldn't do what the doctor wanted (meds). Cancelled the 2nd appt last October. My heart just sank. I thought, if he doesn't go get help I've got to get out of this marriage. This forum has been such a source of support. I hope everything works out for you. |
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norma1
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Bless both of you. I am reading your postings and feel like i could have been writing them myself. was married for 24 years to someone who was sick. finally, had to get out, and did. It was hard, and sad, and difficult. I am much better off and so are my children. and my ex is much happer now. he is with someone who doesn't mind the abuse. I enjoy each precious day.
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buhlir926
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Maisley - I understand what you are trying to say, but believe me, she is a bimbo. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone. When he left in July I found her phone number on his cell records and told her to back off because he was sick. Yes, she was in fact pursuing him. She is 51 and a school teacher here in our town. No, this isn't the first married man she has gone after. She has breast augmentation and dresses like a harlot even when in the classroom. She was not my kids teacher, thank God, but I have spoken with plenty of mothers that were afraid to let their husbands attend parent teacher conferences - if you know what I mean. Her undergrad is in psych and believe me, she knows how to manipulate. See, I actually do know something about her and she is in fact, a bimbo. Does that excuse what my husband is doing? Absolutely not! He's bipolar and hypersexual not that it is an excuse for what he has done, but she knows better because she was informed. I understand your wanting to stick up for a fellow woman, but sometimes what appears to be really is. Hopefully though if karma really exists, it will all even out in the end. |
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TREY
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BECAUSE WE OR NOT EMOTIONALLY EQUIPED TO DEAL WITH THE RELATIONSHIPS.A FLIGHT MECK KICKS IN WHEN WE FEEL WE OR GOING TO BE HURT OR HURT SOMEONE WE LOVE. |
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Mrslcooper
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Let me share my experience. My husband LOVES me, I say that in the strongest sense of the word.... But I have found that at times he tries really hard to push me away. WHy, cuz he doesnt want to hurt me anymore, and he can not control it at times. The emotional, mental, and physical rollar coaster ride is too much at times, and when I begin to look tired and drained he pushes me away,. He knows that one day enogh will be enough and before I can leave him he chooses to leave me. Most people with bi polar have had a lot of peoople the care about walk away, So in order to save his heart, he chooses to walk first at times. However, let me share with you want I do... GRIND MY FEET INTO THE DIRT AND HANG ON!!!!!! I will not walk away and I will not allow him to walk away, we said vows,,, for better or worse and damit he is going to deal with this. Im stronger than I imagined and I trust my faith to carry me through the rough times, and boy thier are rough times.... wifey for lifey http://mrslcooper.webs.comTo read the book you must purchase it.Book now available through publish america. ISBN number is 1-60474-065-5 price is $14.95 |
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mcat
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It's easier to say that you will not let them walk away than actually doing it. Mine left me. Had to find himself. Comes back often enough...but never stays. He won't divorce me, but he doesn't come home. God knows who or what he does sometimes. He was here with me all day today. drained me...then left again. Not an easy thing to "stand by" them when they don't want you there.
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Gypsy
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My boyfriend and I are alot like Sonja and her husband. We have stayed together through alot of hurdles. He has put up with my bipolar for 5 yrs. He has had is issues, too. We have been able to work through these things. I had my doubts, sometimes, and have thought it was the end. He has been the stubborn one. I have tried to push him away several times, and he wont budge.....lol Gypsy God Bless,Gypsy |
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mcat
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Mine didn't push. He ran. I think he has the same issues tho, doesn't think he's worth the trouble, wants to save me from more pain. I get all of that. I understand. It's just hard keeping the homefires burning sometimes. I'm in a funk myself. Today was hard. He was in so much pain. But I let him go when he was ready to leave. If he ever does want to come home, today isn't that day. |
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clc79092
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Yeah I get that but my question is this: "how do you get through to them that they are causing more hurt than they are avoiding.?" My exwife does not see that anyone got hurt except me. I took my son up there 550 miles for christmas. We were at her mom's house. She was 30 miles away and would not come see her son even if I was not there. She called and while talking to her mom she asked to speak to him and he said "no come see me". She never showed up. We were there 5 days. In that 5 days she would not travel 30 miles to see her son she had had no contact with since August. She did not send him a birthday card in November or Christmas card. She lives in her own little world while she destroys mine and her son's. |
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