Why do bipolars run from ones they love?

You are right to be concerned for the sake of your children. They need stability in their lives.

Right now, my ex is kind of 'expecting' our daughter to spend every single weekend with him. He even got a puppy (part his own lonliness, part enticement to get her over there...I am so cynical!)

He even called to get her on Mother'sDay weekend. I was like, uh it's MOTHER'S DAY and we have plans. She keeps asking me if I am going to tell him every other weekend so she can play with her friends on the weekends as well (he moved to another town about 20 minutes away) I told her I will discuss it with him , so that takes the pressure off her for not having to go every weekend. When it's summer vaca he can see her additional days during the week as well.

I have no problem with all this as long as he is not getting drunk or mean. So far, she says he only has a couple beers when she is over ( which probably means more than that because he hides it well)

I just take one day at a time.

It is like emerging from a fog, or out of a shell or something. Those OMG what has he pulled now feelings are a thing of the past and it is such a relief.

But, because there are children involved, I don't think it will be easy to not think about ex or stbx at all.

I have a couple well meaning friends who mention single guys they think I'd like to meet. I can't even process that at this time! haha I am relishing my freedom and peace & quiet... for now.

Take care

Were you or your husband EVER in the Real Estate Business?? Is that the business he was in that "failed" somehow? Otherwise, this letter to you is just incoherent ramblings that make no sense.

On a brighter note, Real Estate can be a wonderful business if you can afford to support yourself for several months until your first deal closes. I know someone who was a school teacher who did RE during her summers off just to make some extra money. She did so well that she gave up teaching and sold RE full time. Made six figures. It's easy to do if you are in a up-and-coming RE market.

BTW, no surprise that the bimbo is now pregnant -- that's how SHE makes a living!

Post edited by: chattycathy, at: 05/16/2008 04:01

Just needed to vent. Haven't been on this site for awhile. I just finished my chemotherapy last month (very happy its over) and now my body is just starting to recover from all the chaos. However I am super stressed all the time because of my husbands ups and downs. My husband and I don't live together anymore since about 2 months now. I am moving to another city in 15 days for a job. In these 2 months, its been a lot more peaceful yet the stress never went away.

My husband takes his meds but I don't think they are the right kind/dosage. He is a lot more stable in terms of being verbally/physically abusive but I see him biting the crap out of his nails and he always lets his anxiety get to him.

He is always pushing me away and frankly I think he is rapid cycling. He goes from super happy. all loving to running away from me. And in his head I guess he knows he can't run too far as we are married and that fact eats him away. His guilt is killing him right now and there is nothing I can do to help him. We try to go on dinner dates or see each other every so often but he is depressed. He has always pushed me away. He lives in the past and doesn't see how his present is just passing him by. I have to say that living with cancer was a lot easier then living with my husbands ups and downs..sigh..

Thank you for listening.

Jkanzalo: the ear piercing thing must be common because now my STBX also has had his ear pierced - with a hoop - like a pirate. Bizarre! He also has a goatee and moustache with tuffs of gray in it. If he is trying to look younger this look is not cutting it. He also wears his leather jacket everywhere and was talking about getting a tattoo and motorcycle. His girlfriend is 11 years older than he is so maybe he is trying to look older to fit in more with her. He is forty but the gray in the beard makes him look 10 years older.

Things are getting lots better with him not coming around all of the time and me not communicating with him except about the kids. My kids keep telling me that I need to date - the 6 year old told me to "get him a new dad" and the 14 year old wants me to find someone that will treat me nice because I deserve it after what I have put up with. Personally, I am in no rush to date. Who needs the drama right now? I get enough of it with my 14 year old son! Take care guys. Talk to you all soon!

I hope everything works out for you with your new job.

Keep your husband's depression from getting to you. I know it is very hard to do, and it is almost like you are taking it on with them (riding the roller coaster with him whether you want to or not) If he keeps pushing you away, try very hard to not take it personally. When my ex did that I always thought there was something wrong with me, and it took a long time before I recognized that it was part of his cycle of bipolar.

Hopefully, you will be very busy at the new job and make some new friends too.

Thank You for your kind words. Yes it is very hard to remember that "its not me"- it never was me. I was and am a supportive spouse/friend and I think me trying very hard has actually become the problem. I need to step back and take a look at myself.

He has always pushed me away. But this time, he physically took my arm and with a bit of force pushed me towards the door and said i needed to leave. I think that was a moment where I felt like I needed some respect from this person and that this pushing is past its limit.

I'm happy to be moving. It makes me feel happy and confident and infact, today I met with my extended family and everyone told me I looked healthy, happy and a lot better since I moved out of his house.

I know things will get better and I too am remembering lots of dysfunction in our relationship that I guess I never thought about that much myself. Now, on my own, with my boys, things are just so much calmer. I feel like I am finally taking charge of my life for the first time in 21 years. It's scary but feels good too. I literally start to feel tense on Friday morning before work. I don't start to relax until Sunday night. He travels for work - out of state usually - five days a week. I feel so free when he is gone and so tense when he is back.