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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support Why do bipolars run from ones they love?
 

Why do bipolars run from ones they love?


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10/21/2007 10:33
rrpurdue
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 my girlfriend now ex just practically ran from me as soon as she began to fall in love with me. is this normal?
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10/21/2007 11:13
JR1
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 Heya!

I ran, and ran, and RAN! I don't know why--really..., but I know I was scared every time--scared because I didn't know what was a lie and what was true in my feelings. I didn't trust myself, so I couldn't trust anyone else. ...funny how that works!

I am married now, and I am no longer afraid of my feelings. It took time, more time than I was willing to give myself, to learn to show my love. I still have trouble showing my love for my wife, but it's not because I am afraid to. I just need more practice.

Thanks for your post.

Regards,

Jim

James A Rist
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10/21/2007 11:43
rrpurdue
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 So how can i be there for her then? What ways can i do so?

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10/21/2007 11:55
JR1
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 Hey again, rrpurdue!

I don't know. Nobody ever ran after me.

Why don't you just follow your instincts? That's the way love works, isn't it?

Jim

James A Rist
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10/21/2007 11:59
rrpurdue
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 Ha ya ur right about that. but it seems when i try i push her away. she began to contact me and we saw eachother, but after that she has ingored me like its too hard for her. i asked why she had to let me go and she didnt have an answer, just that "she had to" its crazy really. she said her feelings for me scared her and thts all i know. she also said she isnt used to someone not running from her
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10/21/2007 12:40
VampiricAngel
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 love is a scary thing. and when hmmm how do I say it when you find someone who cares for you so deeply and so completely it just seems a little overwhelming. It's a little hard to explain. I may be young but for me even with friends I tend to push them away. partly to keep them safe. from me and this "thing". It's hard sometimes. To handle everything and that on top of it. for some reason it's just so scary so surreal. For someone to care for me in return. I mean it seemed like everything I touched turned to crap. And I care about them so much. Getting close is dangerous. It just feels that way sometimes. and it's better to keep peoples at arms length. IDK it's hard to explain but that's how I feel sometimes. IDK if that's what she's feeling. But...I can relate when says that shes' not use to people running from her. That's also a scary feeling. Maybe she just needs time? *hugs* I hope it all works out

~Linda

~“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.”

~“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

~ August Wilson quotes (American Writer, 1945-2005)
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10/21/2007 18:01
crig
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 I know exactly what you guys are all saying. I love my husband and I know he loves me, but he just keeps pushing me away. He's mean and hateful and very manipulative and calculating. I love him dearly, but he makes it hard, very very hard.

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10/21/2007 18:34
MsBimbo
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 Hi rrpurdu,

I'm wondering...if bps are hypersensitive and have the strong emotions we do have, do you think she might be overwhelmed by the emotion or even the idea?

I know I rejected love and would set up a relationship to fail so I could be the one rejecting the other. And therefore not be rejected.

Discovering unconditional love and applying this love to ourselves is complicated by years of rejection and frustration in relationships.

By allowing her to come and go in your relationship, you are helping her see you won't leave her despite her insecurity or doubts. I don't know how long you would put up with the roller coaster relationship, but getting some real help with this would be good. Do you have a therapist to whom you could address this problem? They might have some good insight and encouragement.

Good wishes and hope,

MsBimbo

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10/21/2007 18:35
MsBimbo
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 Oh, as a P.S....I don't think bp has anything directly to do with this behavior. I believe it is probably linked to very painful rejection in the person's past.
MsBimbo
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10/23/2007 15:06
rrpurdue
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 Do bipolars ever look back or realize between cycles that "hey, wow, this person really does love me." ? do they ever see it. i mean wants they are scared they pushed u out of their life do they ever try to see if you are still there?
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