What would you do if you couldn't find treatment?

I've been on over 30 different medications, recently had E.C.T., been "too bipolar" for an online support group, been discharged by psychiatrist who I was referred to by the Mayo clinic and told to go back to square one, the county nut ward that couldn't handle me either who referred me to the E.C.T. doctor who couldn't help me who referred me to the Mayo clinic who referred me to the doctor who doesn't want to treat me and discharged me.

What is a bipolar to do? I can't put in this post how I'm feeling because I'm not a "normal" bipolar. BTW, i had 43 E.C.T. treatments and the only thing I got out of it was peaceful sleep under the anesthesia!

Well, now I'm hunting for a new pdoc and worried "what if I find one..." It will be 45 days before I get to see him/her, then they may not like my "attitude" but isn't that part of being bipolar?

I really don't know where to turn or what to do. I can identify with the boredom people are posting about.

Medication alone doesn't always do the trick, they won't make life's troubles go away nor will they always take away the swings we have. Do you have any abuse issues from the past? I know my "bitchiness" tends to stem from abuse issues, if I am snapping like a rabid dog, no one is going to get close enough to me to hurt me. Self protection. I had to learn that not everyone in life is "going to hurt" me. Counseling/therapy in addition to the medications is a wise thing.

I get a blog from psycheducation and today they were talking about a new high-dose thyroid hormone as a treatment for bipolar along with light and dark therapy.

http://www.psycheducation.org/thyroid/HighDose.htm

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/LightDark.htm

Have you ever tried lithium?

just a little blurb from the article

You may know the story about lithium. It was discovered from a mistaken focus on urate. Until today, however, I did not realize that the first use of lithium was not in 1948 by Dr. John Cage in Australia -- but rather, nearly a century before, in 1871.

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/ LithiumHistory.htm

Don't give up, there has to be something out there for you.

Carmen

Thanks for your post.

I'll add this to what Carmen33 had to say.

When our disease resists all forms of conventional treatment, it is often a red flag--a message that, perhaps, something else is causing our symptoms.

Have you and your doctor tested for other diseases that may cause or affect mood swings?

With kindest regards,

Jim

I've been tested for many different things and the consistant diagnosis is bipolar (Gosh, I feel like I'm starting with a new pdoc, "Yes, I've been on that, and that. This caused that, and that caused this and that is why I'm not on it any more. Moreover, nothing really worked to even 20% success..." - me being sarcastic).

I'm resistant and if you do read the literature you'll see that 70-80% of patients respond to medication. E.C.T. has the same success rates. So who are these other 20%? I mean, other than me of course.

Lithium, been there done that. The only thing I have NOT been on is MAOIs and the last pdoc wouldn't prescribe them because of my paranoia.

See, I'm not to hopeful for a solution. I've had therapy and have a therapist I still consult via email 2 or 3 times a week.

The question was, "What would YOU do if you couldn't find treatment?" Now, nobody wants to deal with me... not the E.C.T. doctor, the last pdoc, or the only mental health center near my home because I am beyond their capabilities... so that's why I ask, what would you do?

For the record, I've been there, done the Prozac, got the T-shirt, now I'm just wandering aimlessly.

therapy is only as good as the try that we are willing to give it. The same can be said for medications, are we going into it, thinking, maybe this can help? or this isn't going to do anything either. As strange as this might sound, we have to help ourselves..we are pretty much the decider's of our perceptions.

It has to be as frustrating for them, as it is for you, they are in the fields that they are in because they want to help, and to come up against something or someone that they can't can make them wonder why the hell they got into it in the first place.

All I can really say, is DON'T GIVE UP, new medications, new therapies are coming out all the time. There are zillions of cocktails that you can try, slower release, faster dosage increases, different things. The therapist that you are still in contact with, would they be willing to help you find what you need? but most importantly, would you be willing to find what you need?

Carmen

Whether you can find meds or not, there are tools you can use to help you.

Therapy seems to be helping. There is cognative therapy, and journaling, and other non, med approaches. Take a walk, when you are cycling, meditate, and use the tools, that are available, that aren't med related. I know a few people who don't like meds, that are coping with this disorder.

Meds aren't perfect. I still cycle even, though, I am on meds. So, I have to use these ways of dealing with my symptoms, too.

Depression: Eat a good diet. Have a regular schedule of sleeping. No self medicating wit other drugs. Eat chocolate, it has seretonin in it.

Get out of the house, and of course journalling helps, and getting into the sun.

Mania: Take time out until it passes, no running on it. Pace your self, and when you cycle sit in a peaceful place, and let it roll until it passes. I have to do this when I am cycling anyway even with meds.

Anyway, I went without meds for years, and would use these tools. I got scared of meds for a long time, because, I thought they would shut me down. I liked being crazy, I guess. Maybe you could get on meds anyway, they at least can make your symptoms more tolerable, and then use the coping skills for the rest of it. That's what, I do. I hope I have been helpful, Thanks Gypsy