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08/25/2013 05:46 PM

My family doesnt believe im bipolar or support my mental health

Orangebloom
OrangebloomPosts: 64
Member

So i have gotten 3 different opinions and two hospital visits so far and the diagnosis was that I am bipolar. My family doesn't believe it because I do not act like they think someone who is bipolar acts. They also are not interested in me getting treatment at all because being depressed is my fault because i am too sensitive. they just want me to get off the medication as soon as possible. they do not want to get education provided by the local mental health center. instead they get info through friends who have experienced things in the mental health system.

Now that i will be getting a new pdoc my mom has decided to get involved in my treatment. but this time she doesn't want me to see the new pdoc at all because he is just going to give me more medication and i will never be able to find a job. instead she wants me to a naturalistic doctor that will help me get off the medication. meanwhile she ignores the letter that my therapist sent about a family session months ago when i had just gotten out of the hospital.

I feel so conflicted. I feel so awful and depressed right now and I do not know who to turn to. I don't know if i should listen to my mom or should I go to the appointment with the pdoc

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08/25/2013 05:54 PM
purplepink
 
Posts: 2096
Senior Member

Go to the appointment with the pdoc. Your family is in denial, fine but that's not YOUR problem the problem is theirs. You need to pursue the right treatment in order for you to become stable and have a better life. Going off your meds is not a good idea when you are bipolar. All of us here at MDJ can be your support group for following through with getting the right kind of treatment for your disease. do you live with your mother?? That will make this even harder. There really are people who do not believe in mental illness. There are people who have stereotyped this disease in their minds so that they think they know what it looks like, but they don't know. it can look very different from person to person depending on how you manifest depression and mania. Your family is obviously not getting educated about your illness and as long as they desire to remain ignorant you can't help them. And its not your job to help them you have enough going on just trying to help yourself. Stay strong, go to your pdocc appointment, get the right kind of treatment for yourself.

08/25/2013 05:54 PM
jennywren
jennywrenPosts: 3162
Senior Member

Orange....I guess we all need to, or are forced to listen to our mums. However, your mum is not a trained doctor (takes something like 10 years to become a pdoc.)

People like your mum, annoy me no end!!! They put themselves up as? God almighty? Your mum does not have a clue what she is talking about.

Could be your mum does not want to face that she produced a child with Bipolar disorder. No uncommon lots of mums do that.

Defintly go to your pdoc. I wonder if it would be helpful for your mum to come too. Possibly not.

Take notice of your pdoc and what treatment he suggests.

All the best,

Jenny


08/25/2013 06:20 PM
claude8it
claude8itPosts: 1077
Senior Member

You know, the aspect of mental illness raising it's head is alarming to most people, families especially. If you were epileptic, your friends and family would be ENCOURAGING you to take your medications and would feel more comfortable when you did. With mental illness friends and family can be nervous about what medications are doing to you, or even distrustful of YOU! Go figure. It's cultural or something. Don't take it personally.

However, it's YOUR life at stake here, and regardless of what other people are feeling, you are the one affected by the disease and you know where being off of meds leads....Usually back to the hospital and never getting your life back on track. Therefore; go see the Pdoc and take care of yourself first. Your Mom means well, but she's in denial and misguided.


08/26/2013 12:41 AM
Taika
Taika  
Posts: 215
Member

Hey Orange, I really feel for you. I'm sorry your family is in such denial. Here's my thoughts:

Please don't quit seeing your therapist and pdoc, keep seeing them and getting yourself treated accordingly. Natural medicines are not always safe either, that is not to say that with bipolar treatment it's also good to take supplements like magnesium and omega-3's which have been tested to have an effect on the disorder. I personally notice they help a little but that's just me and medication is needed aswell as the supplements. Treatment is a combination of things like the meds, supplements and cognitive therapy. Making yourself plans on how to deal with difficult situations or things that trigger you. I'm still learning this myself.

As for your family, they seem to be in harsh denial of your illness. Maybe in time they will start accepting it and start to listen to you a little. I had my own mother in denial for the first year after diagnosis and still a little bit(not as much as your family though). Basically parents will feel tremendous guilt over their child having an illness. My sister is mentally disabled and I guess that in itself was so traumatic to my parents that having another child who later was diagnosed bipolar, it's even harder to accept that the second child is ill too. It's the parent's guilt. They feel responsible.

My mom watched me try med after med and saw the side effects and how bad it was when they didn't work. At those times she too wished I stopped and still thinks I don't need the meds all that much. I can see this as caring from her part because what she sees is that I'm too sensitive to be on meds like this. It's from a completely different point of view then my own. But she is not me and she doesn't know what I've been through and felt mentally. I know myself and I'm sure you're the only expert of your own symptoms too! I KNOW I need medication and am working to find it. My mom is there to help still and at times she has seen my pdoc and councelor together with me and I think she has mellowed to the idea by getting all this new information and just seeing that the doctors are there to help me.

I'm sorry your family is refusing to even accept this information or see your doctors. Perhaps in time they too will mellow a bit and come with you so they can voice their concerns and get a reply from a professional. I wish you strength to get through these tough times when you're getting less support than you need from family. But do treat your illness as seriously as a cancer patient would treat theirs. I would try to just avoid & ignore your family's denial fueled actions and just concentrate on yourself. Not saying to cut contact or stop asking them for help but don't let them pressure you to stupid things. Give yourself a break from trying to explain things to them and just accept they're in denial right now and do what you must do. Maybe they will come around in time of their own accord.

Post edited by: Taika, at: 08/26/2013 12:42 AM


08/26/2013 05:07 AM
sarahtroy
sarahtroy  
Posts: 14312
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Go to the appointment with the pdoc. It is your responsibility to take are of your mental health needs, whatever they are. You are in control of your treatment.

Just so that you are not alone, absolutely no one in my family believes I'm bipolar. For the same reason your family doesn't. They don't think I act like a bipolar person acts. None of the information or education I've provided has made a dent in their denial. Denial is common in the families of those with mental illness.

All I can do is be amused at the extent of my family's denial. I don't have the power to control how other people think and feel.

But I can control my treatment and taking care of my mental health.

Incidentally, your mother's interference with you getting psychiatric treatment and medications for your bipolar is a form of child neglect and should be reported to Child Protective Services if you are under the age of 18.


08/26/2013 07:38 AM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13719
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Just about all the above posters have said what I wanted to say but I do want to let you know that my heart goes out to you...after I had my breakdown psychosis and was hospitalized many years ago I was only 18, my family kept asking me "when are you going to work again?/you seem well" little did they know I was in a deep depression and lost all my social skills and confidence... which was the opposite of what I was normally a social butterfly and felt good about myself most times, they were nieve as the how this illness manifests itself, often times mental illness can be covered up by the sufferer it often manifests itself as invisible covering up our symptoms can be done at times.

I am sorry you are going through this rough time and that your parents are in denial, eventually my family started understanding my condition and for many years now (30) they have supported me, please have hope it sounds like you are just starting your journey of recovery and healing, I believe I am still recovering daily I need to always be proactive and take my meds daily and see my therapist and doctor regularly.


08/26/2013 01:39 PM
Orangebloom
OrangebloomPosts: 64
Member

Thank you for everything everybody. I decided that I will go to the appointment after all.I think I might go to the naturalist as well just to make my mom happy and see what he has to say. I'm old enough to make my own decisions. I just wish my mom would get involved in my recovery in another way

08/26/2013 10:56 PM
Taika
Taika  
Posts: 215
Member

I think you could mention to your therapist/psychiatrist at the appointment that you're having this kind of trouble with family and ask them about what they think of the herbal medications. They might have some interesting viewpoints to say. If there's time to go there that is. Your treatment comes first ofc. Wish you luck! Smile
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